For the Teabag in All of Us

I'm not dead

2007-05-14T22:55:00.000-04:00

Just really, really, um.. really busy. I miss you guys!

Gaahhh

2007-04-03T22:48:00.000-04:00

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

I have literally 3 pending blog posts. None of them are finished. I'm not even sure I want to finish them. They're pretty much all on the same subject, but I'm sooo... indecisive. I don't think I'm ready to post about this. I don't even really want to think about it.

Other than work junk, I don't really stress much. And I especially don't stress things like this. But it's kinda big. I know that makes no sense, so you'll just have to take my word for it. And understand that if I put it out there, there's no taking it back. Hence my vacillation.

Gaaahhhhhhh.

I'll keep you posted ... um, no pun intended on that one.

Say AAHHHH

2007-03-27T08:22:00.000-04:00

No one wants me to say AAHHH right now, with the possible exception of my doctor. I'm sure my tongue is covered with a film of yuckiness. This is my FOURTH cold of the season, and I'm sick of it (no pun intended). And this time, the Zicam, the Emergen-C, and the Nyquil are NOT working. Ugh.

So I'm contemplating working from home today since NOT working is obviously not an option. I've been a bad blogger, and it's not for lack of trying... I've been reading and commenting as much as possible, but writing my OWN post (at least for me) takes a good 20 minutes of uninterrupted JMai time, which I find is impossible to get while at work. Then I get home, and half the time, Chulo and I have appointments with potential DJs and florists and other wedding-related bollocks. The rest of the time, it's the same old story -- we barely have time enough to make/have some dinner, and relax together for a few moments before it's time for bed. Any online time has been spent researching honeymoon options, trying to skim the guest list, and budgeting. And frankly, I don't suppose you guys want to read about that. Although I really appreciated all the comments on the singles issue. Of course I still have not made my mind up about it, because against all wisdom to the contrary, I am still trying my best to make everyone happy. I guess I will just cross that bridge when I come to it. I have some time before having to make an iron-clad decision on that, regardless of pressure.

What's this? J-Lo is releasing a new album entirely in Spanish? Hmmm.... we all know she cannot actually speak Spanish, so this has Marc Anthony written all over it. Maybe he's been giving her lessons.

So since I have nothing interesting to write about other than work, wedding, and the evil cold/flu season ... I will leave you all with previously promised photos of happier times: our cruise.

Believe it or not, this is our city, taken from the top deck of the ship before we sailed away.

This was our first formal night. We were too tired (and late) to dress up for the second formal night... I brought that other dress for nothing!

Sing it with me: Gin and coconut water... (yeah, I don't know the rest of the words, but it's a cool song and that IS a coconut filled with some alcohol that may as well be gin)

One of the starfish that Chulo found on the beach in Mexico... I have a couple of photos where he is holding the starfish, but he would kill me if I posted those! Turst me that he looks so cute in his swim trunks and snorkel mask!

Big ass stingrays in Grand Cayman. Yes, we went swimming with them. Yes, I screamed my ever-loving head off. But it was awesome. No one got stung (except one lady got stung by a jelly, but that's not the rays' fault)

Local artist in Belize, where it was at least 700 million degrees. He made all these awesome sculptures from Belizean jungle woods. We bought the pelican that you can maybe just make out on the bottom left of the table.

Our last night (and last drinks) on the cruise. Don't we look happy, but also sad that it's over?

See now, I feel better just having looked at those photos again. Is it time for another vacation yet?

Ho-hum

2007-03-11T23:31:00.000-04:00

I am mentally exhausted and so completely uninspired to write a new post right now. I'm kinda only writing this because it's been a week since my last post and I feel guilty.

Seriously dudes, I am watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle on the USA network right now. I've never seen it before but I get the feeling that it's a much better movie if you see it on premium cable or DVD. Not that I mean to say that it would ever be a good film, but at least there would be curses and stuff.

Anyway yeah... I am buried at work. I mean BURIED. We finally hired someone new but I'm starting to worry that she's not going to work out... I dunno, it's just a feeling I get. I also kinda get the feeling she wants my job. Some days, I feel like ... no problem, you can have it! But mostly I love my job and have no intention of giving it up; I just wish I could get good HELP. Tomorrow morning I fly to NYC for a qiuckie visit and get home .... oh, around 1am Tuesday night. Of course I will be at work by 8am Wednesday. And yes, I worked this weekend.

And when I'm not busting my ass trying to get work done, I am trying to plan this wedding and ohmyGOD do you guys know how much this shit costs? It's totally crazy. I mean, we are keeping this wedding as low-key as possible: no bridal party (one maid, one usher); we are going to do a lot of the things ourselves (or I should say MYself since a. I really do enjoy this stuff and b. I know I won't trust Chulo with a glue gun or a calligraphy pen); and we are keeping the outfits casual (no tux, and I'm shying away from foofy gowns). But also, there are some things that are non-negotiable, like making sure your guests have an excellent (not mediocre) meal and have an open bar with decent liquors. Add all the people that have touched your life and you want at your wedding, and the bill is kinda steep.

I guess this isn't news to pretty much anyone but me. All of a sudden I wish I were one of those women who's been reading Brides Magazine since I was 15, so that I would be so much more prepared for it now that it's real. But you live and learn. Plus, I have you guys... I might have to take mini blog-polls on various things as I go along. Such as:

What do you guys think of restricting single people to a single invite? Meaning, if I have a friend X, and she is single, is it ok to put X's name only on the invitation and hope she gets the hint that she is the only invited person and she needn't scrounge around for a date?

I actually hate this idea but am considering it for a couple of reasons:

We are looking at a per-plate cost of around $115;
Pretty much all the "singles" on the guest list know other people that will be there, and so will not wind up going to a wedding alone without knowing anyone but the bride or groom;
Chulo's grownup (20 and 22) neice and nephew are planning to come and bring their boyfriend and girlfriend, respectively. While we have nothing against these people we don't think the kids are going to cough up even half of the cost of their own plates, let alone their guests' plates and any sort of gift on top of that. I mean, I know it's not all about the gifts, but it's damn expensive to have a wedding and I'd like to think that we might reap at least 75-80% of the cost through gifts (God help me if people start giving me crystal bowls and candlesticks and shit... we are not planning to register for a reason, and I think I might throw a fit if I get a bunch of gifts that I am probably going to hate... man, I am such a BITCH!); and finally
If we do this for every "single" on the list, we'll save nearly $1000

If there were a situation where one of the singles really wouldn't know anyone else and would feel lonely and alienated, then we could make an exception.

I don't know ... we are tossing this idea around. I'd LOVE not to have to do it, I know it's about sharing our special day with our loved ones, etc... but every time I blink, I add another couple hundred to our budget, and I'm just looking for a way to cut costs.

Thoughts? And if you guys dislike this idea as much as I do, maybe you have other possible ideas for cutting costs here and there?

We're Baa-ack!

2007-03-04T20:57:00.000-05:00

I wish I wasn't back ... we were having so much fun! The cruise was awesome. I don't think I will ever be one of those constant cruisers, because it's a weird way to travel ... half the time you're totally rushed; the rest you're wandering about and trying to decide what to do next. It's also very commercial, whereas I prefer to ramble aboout as if I'm a local when I travel. But it was really fun, we had a great time at all the ports (except Belize, where our excursion got cancelled for lack of participation -- apparently when people cruise to the Caribbean, they want to spend their time in the sun or in the water, rather than peeking around in jungle caves. Go figure!). And I didn't have a moment of seasickness OR claustrophobia.

I'm too tired now, and too busy trying to catch up on old episodes of Grey's Anatomy, to write a proper post. But I will give you the highlights:

We snorkeled. A lot.
We ate. Well.
We got sunburned shoulders and noses (or I should say, I did, since my dear fiance has lovely golden skin and does not burn easily)
We found wild starfish
We relaxed, a little
We swam with stingrays. It was fucking scary
We met lovely people
We drank many delicious creamy frozen alcoholic concoctions
We played Bingo (really. and we lost)
We sang Happy Birthday to Chulo's dad on a pay phone in Grand Cayman, and were rewarded with the applause of strangers
We did NOT think about wedding plans for an entire week (well, not much anyway)

Here we are, on our first day, getting ready for our fire drill, which by the way was a total cluster:

Maybe I'll post more photos later this week. I'm STILLtrying to figure out how to get the photos from my old camera onto the computer. I think I might just need to bite the pickle and get my stupid laptop fixed.

Happy Monday, lovelies!

Cruisin'

2007-02-23T12:02:00.000-05:00

...on a Sunday afternoon....

I'm not sure, but I think Smokey Robinson sings that. Starting this Sunday afternoon, Chulo and I will be singing it too. I am SO excited about this VACATION.

Seriously... Americans do NOT get enough vacation. It's so unfair. Those damn Europeans get like 142 days off (and no, I am not including weekends). Bank holiday this, Boxing Day that. And we get a measly 10 days.

Well, technically I get 15 days, but that's not the point. Poor Chulo only gets 5.

Anyway, we are heading out for 7 fun days in the sun (at least I hope it will be sunny), with snorkeling and beach baking and mini golf and feeding stingrays and dress-up nights with dancing and exploring jungle caves and all sorts of other neato stuff. I will miss you guys.... but um, yeah. Don't expect to hear from me for a week. Or so.

Have a wonderful week and I hope your March comes in like a lamb, not like a lion!

Oh Geez

2007-02-19T01:41:00.000-05:00

So, you might have read... I'm getting married!

Which is awesome. I've waited 32 years for a man this wonderful, and he is so very worth the wait. He is gorgeous, kind, respectful, generous, loving, sexy, funny, and uber-huggable. The quintessential "keeper." So I'm pretty sure that somewhere during those 32 years, I had the typical little-girl dream wedding planned down to the last detail, with the big pouffy dress and the rose petals and the decorated church pews, and all of my friends lined up alongside me, wearing matching gowns.

But at some point, while I was waiting... I stopped wanting that. I'm almost certain that my [ex] best friend's wedding was the turning point. We were young (too young to be getting married, in my opinion), she lived in New Hampshire and I in NY, and I was a bridesmaid. That wedding cost me easily $2000, between travel, bridesmaid junk, and gifts. $2000 is a nice chunk of change when you're 21 and not living at home. She was my first experience with Bridezilla and she freaked me the hell out. Where was my sweet, funny friend? Gone. She actually asked me, during one of the MANY dress fittings, what I could possibly be thinking by taking on such a busy schedule (working full-time and taking 9 credits at night towards my Bachelor's) when I knew she was getting married??

Um, ok.

But I digress. The point is, three days ago I was eloping.

Somewhere along the line, the pouffy-dress-in-a--packed-church fantasy became a flowing-gauze-dress-under-a-trellis-of-wild-roses-on-a-beach-in-the-Greek-Isles fantasy. I'm not even talking about a "destination wedding" where you make people spend inordinate amounts of money just to attend. I'm talking about a peaceful, simple ceremony somewhere away from it all. Where guests are welcome, but unlikely. Where I don't have to spend painstaking hours poring over invitation embossings or seating arrangements. Where the exchange of vows would be witnessed by ....pretty much no one. After all, it's our wedding and we're the only ones that matter when you come right down to it, right?

Yeah, not so much.

Aside from general displeasure at this notion from both sides of the family, once Chulo told me that, regardless of all that, he would do anything I wanted -- thereby making it an available option -- I realised I didn't want it. I don't want to exchange vows with this beautiful man in front of some random officiant and no one else, in Vegas or Jamaica or even Greece. Finding someone this fantastic has taken me too long, and after watching my parents bring him into our family fold (he has been warned, and yet he wants this!), knowing how my friends feel about him ...I can't imagine not having those people with us to share that moment.

So I'm having a wedding. In November. At some undetermined location, with a guest list that grows every time I take a breath. In case I'm being unclear on this point, trust me when I say that I have no earthly idea what I'm doing.

Fuck. Me. Running.

Haiku holiday

2007-02-14T10:50:00.000-05:00

Flowers and candy
silly Hallmark holiday
Still, I love presents!

Into work early
roses at my office door
what a good Chulo

Forgot to tell you…
we’re cruising the Caribbean
starting next Sunday!

Wishing all bloggers
love and happiness, today
and throughout the year

****UPDATED TO ADD****

He knows his four "Cs"

full of surprises, that boy!

YES I'll marry you!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Teabag Tunes Tuesday

2007-02-06T19:42:00.000-05:00

new iPod. check
904-song library (and I'm just getting started!). check
cute pink Coach leather iPod case. check
stolen memes from Nat and Terry. check

Let's go!

Basically these all work the same way. You use your iPod as a musical Magic 8 Ball. Put your iPod on shuffle, ask it a bunch of questions, and for each new question, hit the next button for the next song. Since I just recently joined the Apple generation and I needed to start loading music onto my handydandy little pink-outfitted musical database, I had to put off doing these memes. But I thought they were so cool when I saw them on the above-referenced blogs, so I'm excited that I finally have enough music on my iPod to make these memes work!

On with the show!

"What do you think of me, iTunes?"
Fire Coming out of the Monkey’s Head -- Gorillaz
(Um. Well, we're off to a great start, aren't we?)

"Will I have a happy life?"
Stronger – Britney Spears
(So I guess I'm stronger. And strong people have happy lives? Not sure what the correlation is. But no sniggering about the fact that this song is on my iPod. I mean it, Dzer! You hush up!)

"What do my friends really think of me?"
Waterloo -- ABBA
Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to/ Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you/ Waterloo, finally facing my Waterloo
(Great, I'm a bastion of defeat and desperation that my friends can't escape from. Faaabulous.)

"Do people secretly lust after me?"
Concienca – Gilberto Santa Rosa
La conciencia me dice que no la debo querer/ Y el corazon me grita que si debo/ La conciencia me frena cuando la voy a querer/ Y el corazon me empuja hasta el infierno, al abismo, dulce y tierno, de sus besos
Translation: My conscience tells me that I shouldn't love her, but my heart says I must. My conscience restrains me when I start to love her, but my heart pushes me towards the inferno, the sweet and tender abyss of her kisses
(yeah, you know you want me)

"How can I make myself happy?"
Ex-Girlfriend – No Doubt
(well, I have made myself VERY happy by making myself an ex-girlfriend of quite a few of my jerk-off exes. So I guess that works.)

"What should I do with my life?"
Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard – Paul Simon
I'm on my way, I don't know where I'm going/ I'm on my way, I'm taking my time, but I don't know where/ Goodbye Rosie, the Queen of Corona/ See me and Julio down by the schoolyard
(Well, I already left Queens... and I don't know anyone named Julio. But it's a cool song)

"Why must life be so full of pain?”
Posters – Jack Johnson
Looking at herself but wishing she was someone else/ Because the body of the doll it don't look like hers at all/ So she straps it on, she sucks it in, she throws it up, and gives a grin/ Laughing at herself because she knows she ain't that at all
(Well... it sure sounds painful to me, but I don't hear any answers to this most profound question. You're slipping, iPod!)

"How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?"
Right to be Wrong – Joss Stone
I've got a mind of my own/ I'm flesh and blood to the bone/ I'm not made of stone/ Got a right to be wrong/ So just leave me alone
(I don't think it will maximize my pleasure if I tell Chulo to leave me alone. I think iPod's a little off again on this one)

"Will I ever have children?"
This Time of Year – Better than Ezra
(hmmmm...this is a song that references autumn... meaning I will be pregnant around then? Something to hope for!)

"Will I die happy?"
Little House – the Fray
(This song is so depressing, I don't even want to talk about it. Suffice it to say that I WILL NOT die happy, if this song is iPod's answer to that question. Stupid iPod.)

"Can you give me some advice?"
I heard it through the grapevine – Marvin Gaye
(Are you telling me that I should stop gossipping?? Well I never!)

"What do I think happiness is?"
Tres Gotas de Agua Bendita (3 drops of holy water) – Gloria Estefan w/ Celia Cruz
(Not sure I think holy water=happiness, but I do love this song, and it makes me happy to hear it. It's so upbeat, and I loooove Celia Cruz)

"What's my favorite fetish?"
It’s My Life – No Doubt
(Apparently, iPod thinks that is NONE of your business!)

"How will I be remembered?"
Tangled – Maroon 5
Would you ever turn your head and look – see if I’m gone/ Cause I fear there is nothing left to say to you that you wanna hear, that you wanna know/ I think I should go; the things I’ve done are way too shameful
(Wow, I feel so guilty now and I'm not even sure what I've done)

Okay well all that font formatting took a lot more time than I thought it would. So there is another iPod meme, but I'll do that one later. I LOVE these, so feel free to steal it and blog it too!

A la Terry

2007-01-31T07:35:00.000-05:00

Lovely cold weather
but briefly, chasing away
humid oppression

Cute scarves and sweaters
Yay! I get to enjoy you!
Stupid Florida

Uhh... derrrr

2007-01-25T23:16:00.000-05:00

I blame Chulo.

I just took the Jeopardy! online test. Boy, do I feel dumb.

I usually do so well when I'm sitting on the couch throwing out guesses. But when I have 15 seconds to read the question and type in an answer... uhhh, not so much. Also, every question was a different category. I mean how am I supposed to build any momentum if you keep switching up the tempo?

So I think it's safe to say you won't be seeing me charm Alex Trebek (who is a pompous dork anyway) on television anytime soon. As if I have any time for frivolities like that.

Actually I have been thinking a lot about vacationing lately. Firstly, it's been nearly a year since I've gotten away. But also, Chulo may be getting some time off soon, and if he does, then I'll have to take some time off too so we can get away. I'd really like to bounce around the south of Spain for a week, but I'm not too sure we can make that happen on short notice.

I have so many things to talk about but can't... that's the issue with telling people that you know and interact with daily about your blog. I mean I have very few "real-life" friends/family/coworkers that know about my little cup of tea, and of those I don't think many check it often. But some stuff is too intrusive and I can't run the risk. Dammit!

Also I have been having trouble sleeping lately... for no good reason that I can think of. I don't really think it's stress... although I am much more stressed now than I ever have been (except maybe while studying for the bar exam), I'm still pretty good at leaving it (mostly) at the office, and I infrequently fall asleep worrying about work issues. Still, it takes me longer to get to sleep (the good news is, Chulo's not really a snorer, otherwise this would present a real problem), and I don't sleep through the night. I'm not waking up because I'm too hot or too cold; it's just not a fitful sleep. And in the morning? Fucking exhausted. Anyone have any ideas about that? Or what I could do to get a better night's sleep?

My neighbours across the way are SO LOUD. I'm pretty sure there are 19 Dominican people living in the corner 3-bedroom and I don't think ANY of them have a job, based on how late they stay up listening to music and cackling like drunken hags on the patio. Bitches. Or maybe I just need new, more soundproof windows.

Well this was random. I really need to get to sleep ...but please refer to the prior paragraph regarding sleep issues. Also I think I had all this nervous energy left over from the time pressure of taking the stupid Jeopardy test. I believe I'm over it now.

Why is Paris Hilton still alive? By my calculations, she should have been dead ages ago... considering that she's much too stupid to remember how to breathe.

Silly Peopleages

2007-01-19T17:15:00.000-05:00

Ok the infidelity post was kinda bringing me down. So to cheer myself up, I went to check out my search engine referral terms. I know this is not an original post, but it's quite entertaining (at least to me). I'm always a little distressed at how "normal" mine are, relatively speaking. Some people get really strange search terms... I remember Alice (dearly departed from the blogosphere or else on extremely long hiatus) had one that went something like "slippery nickel lime dance" ... uhhh, what??

I'm especially proud of the fact that the highest percentage of hits comes from the word "mxresorts" -- seriously, if I have done a public service by telling the world (or at least the googling, yahooing, ask.comming world) what a crap service this is, then I am thrilled. No one else should be taken for a ride by these criminals. In case you're here now because you googled the word "mxresorts," be warned -- do NOT give these people your money. They are charlatans, and also scummy assholes! I hope they've gone out of business.

Well, now that I'm done with THAT, here are some of my search-engine gems. The first few are not too surprising.

what does it mean to "teabag" someone
(a reasonable question... I had to google it myself. And still I chose this title for my blog. Hmmm...)

tea bag girls who suck balls
(ew)

teabagging tongue punching bag
(double ew, and also... what???)

woman is like a teabag
(why yes, yes she is. you never know how strong she is until gets into hot water!)

tongue in vegina
(I think you mean vAgina. perhaps that's why you're searching the term instead of doing it)

what does jmai mean
(I'm certainly curious about this one)

strange bump on the bottom of my tongue
(unfortunate.... but I think the site you're looking for is www.webmd.com)

why are boys weird
(I blogged about weird boys just about a year ago, and sadly, I am still no closer to finding the answer to this question. Sorry, girls)

disastrous short haircut women
(well, not all short haircuts on women are disastrous. I thought America Ferrara looked fantastic at the Golden Globes, for example. And it works for Ellen)

trust found laptop letter OR letters OR dream "boyfriend"
(I don't get the correlation here at all)

improving bad kissers
(I have spent many an evening on this task. If you have the patience, it can be quite rewarding)

glitter'n'glue
(word)

Happy searching, folks! iPod meme coming soon, I SWEAR!

Infidelity

2007-01-14T18:25:00.000-05:00

I'll preamble this by saying that good heavens NO, I am not cheating on Chulo (or pondering doing so) and he is not cheating on me (or pondering doing so). But we did rent a movie last weekend that really disturbed me and got me thinking.

Have any of you seen The Last Kiss? I remember watching the trailer during the coming attractions for at least one movie, several months ago, and thinking that I would hatehateHATE that movie. But it got pretty good reviews, and I love Jacinda Barrett, so I thought, ok... let's see. How bad could it be?

Bad.

What a shitty, depressing film. Seriously, one of the reviews called this the ultimate date movie. Are you fucking kidding me?? "Hey let's go out for a while. It might get serious, but then one of us will wonder if the grass is really greener and cheat on the other. Won't that be fun?" Um, no.

I mean, if you're in love, you're in love, right? If you're with someone and you know you want to wake up with that person for every anniversary, birthday, sick day, bad hair day... what else is there? When did we become so obsessed with the next best thing that the current best thing has stopped being good enough?

I won't ruin it for anyone who wants to see it and hasn't yet (not that I've left much to the imagination at this point -- sorry), but I found that film infuriating. And the really infuriating thing about it is, I imagine that's how it happens in real life. It just takes a moment... a complimentary word, an alternative ending, a glimpse of what might never be. I sat through most of this movie fuming, cursing at the television, and just generally in a foul temper. I was mad at him. I was REALLY mad at the girl. So mad that I will probably never be able to watch any other movie that she's in and see her as anything but a pathetic, whorebag homewrecker. Chulo asked me more than once to just forget the movie and let's do something else. But I had to see the ending. Which, although touching, still left me with a feeling of too little too late. A week later, I'm still annoyed. Seriously, the only thing that's good about this movie is the soundtrack.

And then, as if that movie and its ridiculous message isn't enough ...all I have to do is turn on the radio in the car. Pop/rock flavour of the month is this horrible, horrible song ... I heard one DJ call it "Ode to Adultery," which is precisely what it is. "Lips of an Angel." Seriously? Why is it okay to make music like this? YOUNG KIDS are listening to -- nay, memorising -- these asinine lyrics. What a fantastic message.

I'm not sure why I take all of this so seriously but I really find it upsetting. Does monogamy and fidelity mean nothing anymore? And if not, when did it stop meaning something?

In other news, I've lost the little cord that connects iPod to the computer. If only I could find it, perhaps I could do the iPod meme and grace the blogosphere with a more uplifting post, eh?

Return of the Meme

2007-01-05T12:40:00.000-05:00

Right, so I said a couple of posts ago that I wanted to do a whole bunch of the memes that were circulating the blogosphere recently. And then I did precisely... ONE. Weak. So here's my first post for 2007, I'll try to make it a good one.

(please bear in mind that this effort may result in falsified meme responses. The author assumes no liability for the truthfulness of any of the statements herein presented. Please read at your own risk.)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Sick is not a good look for us.

2. How much cash do you have on you? People wearing pajamas do not generally carry cash.

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? S'mores, but in the singular

4. Favorite planet? Well, I kind of miss Pluto. Now what is my very educated mother just supposed to serve us nine of?

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? I don't have a "missed calls" list, only a "received calls" list, which shows both missed and picked up. The 4th person on that list actually was a missed call, from Unknown, which came in at approximately 7:15 last night, and I did not pick up because Chulo and I were uh, celebrating

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? I Dream of Jeannie

7. What shirt are you wearing? Pink pajama top

8. Do you label yourself? All the time

9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: They are not shoes, they are big fuzzy pink slippers, and I'm not sure that they have a brand name. I would have to take one of them off to discover if they do, and I don't feel like it.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright. Sunshine, always sunshine.

11. Why is there always a missing question? Because people are fucking stupid and it amuses them to think that this is important in any way.

12. What does your watch look like? I do not wear watches. The party starts when I get there.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Coughing up a lung

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "How are you feeling my love?"

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Pine Island and 595. And 'round these parts, we call it "Sev." And by "we" I mean "me"

16. What's a word that you say a lot? "Stupid." As in, "that guy is stupid" or "I have to find the stupid thing" or "that's a stupid way to do it" because invariably, my way is better and smarter.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Mom

18. Last furry thing you touched? Chulo's brother's dog

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Are we counting OTC meds?

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Sadly, I have a 3-year old roll of film sitting inside a 35-mm camera (which has been there, half-taken, since the Christmas that I got my first digital camera). I guess we can say sayonara to those photographs. Also I have not one but TWO disposable underwater cameras with film that needs to be developed.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 26. You're not "the kid" at work anymore, you can legally drink, vote and buy lotto scratch-offs, and you can rent a car without paying an underage premium.

22. Your worst enemy? Rotten, snot-nosed little kids that gave me this bloody COLD

23. What is your current desktop picture? It's Chulo's desktop, and it's a picture of us (a really bad one!) on the sunset cruise we took in Key West

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? To my boss: "Yes we DO have an independent obligation to follow CIP procedures exclusive of the clearing firm." He disagrees.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? This question is even stupider than the one about my favourite planet. I'd take the million, DUH.

26. Do you like someone? I like lots of someones. There are very few people that I know that I really do not like. This is entirely different from the world full of dumbasses out there that I don't know ... and even them I don't dislike, I just find them stupid. Which is not the same.

27. The last song you listened to? Amber by 311

28. What time of day were you born? 10pm

29. What's your favorite number? 9

30. Where did you live in 1987? Queens. In the house I grew up in. Which has since been razed and rebuilt into this stucco monstrosity. I mean HELLO you morons, that was a mock tudor! Aside from being gorgeous, that's kind of the WHOLE POINT of the neighbourhood. Ugh. Nouveau riche make me sick. People shouldn't be allowed to have money unless they pass a style sense test.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? Sure. I'm jealous of my sister's body. Of Iliana's cute feet. Of Nat's eyes. Of all my friends who have kids. Of all those people who were smart enough to purchase property in the 90s and whose mortgage payments are less than half of mine for twice the house.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? Probably, but just for some little piece of me rather than my whole. Just like I'm jealous of little pieces of others, but I don't want to be anyone else.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? Driving to work.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Get annoyed and then move on

35. Do you consider yourself kind? I can be, but I often am not.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I can't imagine a situation where I HAD to get a tattoo, but I always thought it would be cute to have something around my belly button.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? I am fluent in another language

38. Would you move for the person you loved? If we could make it work, after lots of planning and preparation. I've already done the by-the-seat-of-my-pants move and that was a little too bumpy to have any desire to repeat the experience

39. Are you touchy-feely? Not overly PDA, but I like to hold hands and steal a couple of smooches here and there

40. What's your life motto? Live it, it's good

41. Name three things you have on you at all times: Mobile phone, lip gloss, and a smile

42. What's your favorite town/city? I've been to so many lovely places, it's hard to choose a favourite

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Probably coffee, as the Dunkin closest to work doesn't take debit or credit cards. Bastards. I have literally pulled into the parking lot, taken the keys out of ignition, and then realised I didn't have any cash on me and had to turn around.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Do Christmas cards count? If so, umm... about 3 weeks ago

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Which one's the oil?

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? My first love got sent to Desert Storm, was about to get leave to come home, and got sent to Serbia/Bosnia. I got two more letters after he arrived there, and since then, nothing. I have no idea if he ever got home or why he stopped writing to me. I was 16.

47. How far back do you know your ancestry? Know know, or reasonably should suspect? I mean, I'm SURE there's a Pharoah or two in there. We are Coptic Egyptians after all, not descendants of the Moors.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? I think it was my sister's wedding. I wore a black dress with um, that neckline that drapes -- not sure what that's called -- in the front and the back, my new pearls and strappy sandals.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? My back kinda hurts from sitting in this chair for so long. I hope this thing is almost over, it's taking forever.

50. Have you ever been burned by love? Burned, disappointed, slapped in the face, rendered speechless, rendered breathless... I wouldn't change a thing

51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers? I have a crush on one blogger's son (Buddha) and one blogger's cat (Mr. Carlos Muffin). Does that count?

52. Where would you like to live? For some reason, recently I have been thinking North Carolina or Colorado. I'm fucking sick of Florida.

Yay no more questions! 52? Really? What a weird number. But a fun meme... feel free to do it yourself if you haven't already.

Grumpy New Year

2006-12-29T18:32:00.000-05:00

This is what you get for celebrating the misfortune of someone else’s death.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who worked in an office far, far away. She spent her days reading federal regulations and drafting policy, and trying to keep up with the whims of stock market governance. The girl loved her job, and spent many long hours growing pale and pasty by the light of the fluorescent bulbs that enabled her to work long after the daylight hours had passed into night. She was very lucky, as she really enjoyed the work that she did, and had the respect and support of her talented colleagues.

Then one day, the New York Stock Exchange announced that it would postpone the first trading day of the new year to honour the passing of a President. This was truly unprecedented news, as it would mean that the stock markets would be closed for four consecutive days, which was a very rare event indeed. Thank you, dead President!

The girl who loved her job paid no mind to this announcement, however, as she had already made plans to work from home that day. She had a couple of projects that required her undivided attention, and besides, the cable company was coming to do an installation for the new big screen HDTV that she bought for her loving boyfriend as a Christmas gift. The girl enjoyed working from home, for as much as she loved her job, one of her favourite perks was being able to work from home in pajamas.

Still, the rest of the office waited anxiously for the joyous announcement from management that no one had to work on Tuesday since the markets would be closed. An extra day off! Twenty-four whole more hours to nurse those inevitable hangovers! Rock on! The office was abuzz with gleeful anticipation.

Finally, the news came from above, but it wasn’t the news everyone had hoped for. Management noted that even though the markets were closed, banks were open and critical functions needed to be addressed, and an executive decision was made to keep the office open. There was much whispering and grumbling following this announcement.

“What a waste! We’ll be here twiddling our thumbs!” said the grumpy office
slackers.

“Is he serious? Can’t you talk some sense into him?” pleaded others.

Alas, the news had come and most accepted their fate begrudgingly. The girl who loved her job paid no mind. There was always work to be done, and wasn’t this such a lovely place to work, even if you did have to come in after all? But she was still planning to work from home. The announcement, so unfortunate for the others, didn’t change a thing as far as she was concerned.

Later, as her boss passed her in the hallway, he asked if she’d reminded her staff that they needed to report to work on Tuesday.

“I did,” she said, “but I won’t be here. I’ve got an appointment with the cable company between 11 and 2 to set up the new high-def service.”

Her boss was visibly upset, and demanded that she be there as well, even if it meant rescheduling with the cable company. No amount of pleading or reasoning would budge him.

“It wouldn’t be right if your staff showed up and you weren’t here along with them,” he said. “It sends the wrong message.”

Confused, distressed, and in a terrible huff, she returned to her desk and called to cancel her appointment.

And the moral of the story is, listen to your boyfriend when he tells you that you can pick up the box directly from Comcast and install the thing yourselves.

Happy New Year!

Happy happy!

2006-12-22T16:16:00.000-05:00

Well, I lied. I said I was going to post more often, and here we are – over a week since my last post, and I’ve produced precisely nothing. How un-Christmasy of me.

So I guess those other memes that I want to do will just have to wait, since I will be heading off momentarily for our Orlando Christmas extravaganza (and by extravaganza, I mean plop on the couch and eat yummy Spanish food while watching the baby practice her walking, and cooking and baking and wrapping even more presents and drinking). The trunk of my car is chock-full of presents wrapped in pretty coloured paper and ribbons and bows. I’ve made dozens of chocolate lollipops and hundreds of cookies – iced sugar cookies, lemon angel wings, almond crescents, marshmallow fudgies, peanut butter blossoms, and and and. I am so excited about this holiday!

A very merry Christmas wish to all you Christmas bloggers. Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Kwanzaa, and a Joyous Winter Solstice, and just general happy and warm wishes to all of you! I heard something on the radio this morning that touched me, so I want to see if I can remember it and share it with you all – ah, I couldn’t remember enough to make it count, so I googled it. (I heart google). It’s a quote from Oren Arnold.

Christmas Gift Suggestions:

To your enemy – forgiveness
To an opponent – tolerance
To a friend – your heart
To customers – service
To all – charity
To children – a good example
And to yourself – respect

Happy holidays everyone!

Tis the Season

2006-12-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

Well yes, it is that season as well... evidenced by the random scattering of all the gifts from our early Christmas celebration with my family this past weekend. But it also appears to be tag season. There are so many memes circulating around the blogosphere that I would like to do, so I expect I will post with maybe just a bit more frequency in the coming days. For one, I will be home ... working of course, but not travelling for once! And also, somehow I find it easier to do memes than to come up with an entirely original post.

Anyway, to kick off this Tag Season, I figure I better start with the one meme I've actually been tagged with, as opposed to the others that I just wanna do because I think they're cool. Madame Sass hit me with her best shot, so scroll down to see who I'm hitting. Just a warning: there will be six of you. Read at your own risk.

So here are the rules (which I have changed a little because I found them kinda redundant and not entirely clear): Each meme-er starts with the “6 weird things about you" and at the end, we tag 6 people. Those who get tagged then write their own 6 weird things post, as well as state this rule clearly. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in your tagee's comments section (on whatever completely unrelated post is active at the time of the tagging) and tell them to read your blog. As I said, I was tagged by Sass.

1. I am possibly the only woman on the face of the earth who really thinks her hair is hot (except when curly; then it is a disastrous mess and I hate it)

2. I can cook a six-course meal without cracking open a cookbook, but I cannot make white rice that doesn't stick, even if my life depended on it.

3. My tongue is has lots of weird grooves and bumps.

4. I think tiramisu is a vile dessert.

5. I very rarely lose my temper, with the glaring exception of any time spent driving. Then, all bets are off. I curse and yell and get frustrated, no matter how hard I try to be calm. Worse still, I'm a backseat road-rager. I will not tell you how to drive, but I will tell you how that other guy who just cut us off cannot.

6. I cannot figure out how to work my new iPod. I mean it must be the simplest device on earth, and I just. cannot. compute.

Okay... so now I have to tag 6 people... uhhh, do I know 6 people who haven't done this meme? Let's see... Nat, Cressy, Miss Cheese, Masgblog, Dzer and Phil. Let's see who does it. I'm off to leave the obligatory "tag you're it!" comments.

A very merry unbirthday...

2006-12-10T17:57:00.000-05:00

to you!

And a very happy birthday for me. We're in NY, my parents just left for their long drive back upstate, and Chulo and I are just hanging out with little sis and her husband, watching movies and drinking coffee and staying out of the cold.

I won the grand prize at the NY office holiday party on Thursday night -- yay! Actually I tried to give it back because I didn't think it was appropriate for me to win, but apparently everyone else thought it was fine so now I have a little thingy to watch movies on during the flight home.

So far, being 32 isn't so bad.

Survey Says...

2006-12-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

It's what you call the guy in the slow-moving vehicle ahead of you in the left lane when he, rather than moves to the right where there is PLENTY OF SPACE for his slow ass, slams on his brakes when you gently flash your brights at him to ask him to speed up or move along, nearly causing a 4-car pile-up accident in fast-moving traffic.

A STUPID MOTHERFUCKING SCHMUCKO JACKASS FUCKTARD!

Dingdingdingdingding!

Okay I know it's rude to flash brights, but I flashed them very gently and only AFTER I moved to the left so that he would see me in his left mirror and realise that he was holding up traffic. Also please note that I could not go around him on the right because there were cars in my way but there were none next to him. I mean honestly, you know the left lane is for passing, you're making the speed limit but that's it, and there is a line of cars waiting for you to move so that they can move on to their respective destinations. Is it really necessary to practically kill me and a bunch of other people, including yourself and your passenger, because I injured your pride a lil by reminding you that you DID NOT BELONG IN THE LEFT LANE?

And Chulo (and Nat, and my mom, and and and) wonders why I have road rage. I mean are you paying attention to these people?? HELLO.

Right. In other news, I back from California, did I mention that? I think I must have, maybe like 17 weeks ago which is the last time I posted. But anyway, it was awesome. First of all, California has trees that change colour. Do you know how lovely that is?? I haven't seen coloured foliage in years. Palm trees are boring!

Also, the weather was lovely for gamboling around looking at lovely things like the Golden Gate Bridge and downtown Sonoma and wine country and ps the town of Berkeley is built into a mountain and it's CRAZY! Those people must have awesome calves. Oh crap, I forgot to upload pictures! Dammit! I have to load the photo program on Chulo's desktop because my laptop is sitting under a pile of junk since it decided to stop working.

Anyway I almost peed my pants driving home from my godmother's house in the scary Berkeley mountains. It was like that drop after the slow climb on a rollercoaster, when the decline is so steep that just before you dip, all you see is air ... and then suddenly you're careening down a mountain in a rental car that you didn't take out the insurance on!

But there's more! There's also superfun girl nights out with Terry and Miss Cheese and Loli and jumbo alcoholic drinks! I also have photos of THAT so I really should upload the stupid program but I'm soooooo tired. Damn five-day work week.

I need sleep, badly. It's a big weekend starting tomorrow! We have to go buy a REAL lovely-smelling tree, and a skirt for that tree, and finish up shopping for Christmas #1 (my family ...figures we are already done with shopping for Christmas #2 with Chulo's family). And I have to buy glue and glitter to christen the pretty new matching Christmas stockings that Chulo and I bought. And I have to do all those Christmas cards. Fuck, I know a lot of people.

Also I have to return some sweaters that I decided I will never get a chance to wear since the cold snap last week was a fluke and we are back into 80+ degrees and humid, damn stupid Florida! I have to tear the house apart looking for the big Lots bag with the pretty wrapping paper and new ribbons. Of course I already have like 11 other rolls of wrapping paper but that's hardly the point, it's Christmas after all! Oh and I have work to do since obviously working between 12 and 15 hours a day isn't quite cutting it! And we have to do laundry, and also CLEAN, ohmyGod do we have to clean... of course I can't call the cleaning girls back because there is too much JUNK here there and everywhere and the poor girls wouldn't know what to do with it all. I need a houseboy.

Okay I have to go peel the contacts off of my eyeballs and get some rest.

California Girl

2006-11-20T08:08:00.000-05:00

I was one, for a few days. No, I didn't go blonde or take my pet to a psychic. But I got to visit and see [some] sights and white-knuckle it on the freeways for a few short days. Now I'm home again.

Just in time for my body clock to finally get on west coast time. Ughhh, work this early in the morning? Booooo.

When I get a minute, I promise more tales of the trip with --I hope-- pics, if I can ifgure out why Blogger won't let me upload images, including pics of Terry and Miss Cheese and even Lola (who I guess does not blog so I cannot link her but she was pretty and cool and also pretty cool). Next time I will have to visit Cressy but I didn't have long enough this trip.

Happy Monday and THANK GOD it's a short week.

***UPDATE***

Normally I would probably write a whole new post, but I'm so distressed that this post has been up since this morning and I have ZERO COMMENTS that I don't want to put a new post on top til there are comments on this post!! (now I know what Dzer means when he guides us all to the lower posts).

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I've joined a little blogroll called Blogging Chicks. See?

Jet-Set Jmai! Take II

2006-11-10T17:56:00.000-05:00

First, a few quickies:

1. I just realised that I passed the 50-post marker with the Tag by Trick post. Man, I feel like I have been blogging so much longer than 51 posts. Hmph. Oh well, happy half a hundred to me!

2. Chulo sent me a gorgeous boquet of roses today for our anniversary (8 months, in case you were wondering). He's such a good boy!

3. Why the hell can't I upload images to this blog anymore? The thing says they're uploading but there's nothing there! It's pissing me off!!!

Well, anyway... onto the post. Remember back in ...what? April? May? Both? ... when I was frequently on the go, meeting up with Chulo at various locations around Florida before he moved down to Lauderdale and made an honest woman out of me? I feel like that again these days, except -sadly- I'll be travelling mostly without my honey.

Ouch, my jaw hurts from chewing frozen Milky Way bites left over from Halloween.

Anyway. We have a bunch of things going on at work, so I find that I will have to travel a bit in the coming weeks. Now, you guys know I don't really like travelling (at least not the getting-there-and-back part). BUT, I get to go to ...

drumroll please...

California!

YAY. I've always wanted to visit the Bay Area and now I finally get to go there! Yes, it's for work, and yes, it's for a ridiculously brief period of time. But these days, I'll take what I can get. I have oodles of vacation time but no real time to take it, so I decided to take ONE DAY for myself out there before I have to come home. YAY again!

So I fly out Wednesday (yes THIS coming Wednesday! nothing like last minute!) evening. I will work on Thursday and probably most of Friday, then I have Friday afternoon and alllllllll of Saturday to myself... I have discovered that flying to the west coast is likely to aggravate my TA (travel antipathy) as most flights make connections all over God's green earth, and on the direct flights, the flight times seem painfully long for a girl whose travel repertoire consists mainly of FL-NYC flights, which are under 3 hours. I opted for a late flight both ways, but it's the Saturday night flight (leaving well past my bedtime and arriving at 8am!) that's going to kill me. But still, a whole day of San Francisco treats! YAY!

The best part about this trip is that I will get to see my godmother, who I haven't seen in probably 20 years. She and her husband moved out to Berkley when I was still twee, and I haven't seen them since. She's a brilliant and talented lady, and I love the stories my mom always tells about her and their "wild" days before she met my dad... actually my godmother is the reason that my parents met. She was doing her master's in the same program as my dad's brother, who invited her to a party which she dragged my mom to ... and the rest is history!

So, to recap: Cool? Finally getting to San Francisco. Cooler? Having the trip paid for by work. Coolest? Reconnecting with my godmother. Have I said YAY enough times?

Oh and? Terry, don't think I won't be meeting that challenge you gave me a couple of memes ago. If you're free I would absolutely love the opportunity to meet you in person and have a drink. Or three.

Then in December, I need to make another work-related trip. I'm also kind of excited about this one too, though, because:

a) I never turn down a chance to go home to NYC
b) There is no place finer than NYC at the holidays (no place colder either, dammit!)
c) Work is paying for [most of] it
d) It's my birfday!

We have a corporate branch in NY, so the way it works at my company is the NY executives fly down for the Fla holiday party, and the Fla executives fly up for the NY party. So I get to go to TWO OPEN-BAR PARTIES wheeeeeeeeeee! And the NY party just happens to fall on the week of my birthday, so I am staying the weekend and Chulo is flying up on Friday night, and -yay of yays!- my parents are coming down to the city for the weekend and we're having a birthday/early Christmas weekend with my sister and her husband!

I was kinda bummed because it looked like I was going to be able to spend Thanksgiving with my family for the first time in probably ... oh maybe 10 years or so. See, the market is open (half-day) on the day after Thanksgiving .. some antiquated rule about not letting the exchanges close for more than 3 days at a time or some nonense. And I never take that day off, because it's such an easy day to work, it seems like a waste of a vacation day. So I can't very well travel for one day up to NY, and anyway we always make up for lost time at Christmas. But this year, my parents were going to come down here, since Chulo and I will be spending Christmas in Orlando. But the fares are insane, so they decided they would save their money and visit at another time instead. So I'm SO excited that I'll get to be with them during the holiday season after all!

And today they put up the tree in Rockerfeller Centre? Oh man... it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! -happy sigh-

Tag by Trick

2006-11-03T18:03:00.000-05:00

Before I head off for the weekend, a tag post borrowed/tricked into by Nat. Although she was tricked into it too, so I suppose I should just keep the chain going and trick whoever else into it, too. Don't worry, even with the trick, the tag is optional, so don't let the fear of tagging stop you from reading (ahem, Phil). It’s a good tag, though… a curious collection of questions, the correlation between which I cannot comprehend. But still fun... enjoy!

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? Fear of growing up

2. When was the last time you shaved? Ummm, Wednesday?

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Cursing at the slow person in the left lane

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Drafting a contract. It got too confusing so I decided to check blogs instead

5. Are you any good at math? Not so much

6. Your prom night? Junior – went with my ex-boyfriend’s brother (as friends only!), then went to the most boring “Students Against Drunk Driving” after-prom party. Senior – went stag with a bunch of friends who did the same, then went to a super-fun, drinking-in-the-woods-with-a-bonfire party and got dummydrunk off Kahlua mixers. Ouch.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors? My great-great-great-great-great grandfather sold NYC’s Herald Square for a piano. He should be famous for the stupidest DUH move of all time. Oh also, probably a pharaoh or two. Cleopatra. You know, like everyone else -s-

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Not for undergrad, but I lived off my loans in law school while I paid tuition with my scholarships. You can’t work during law school unless you’re a crazy! I will be paying that off forEVER

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? What’s myspace?

10. Last thing received in the mail? Dunno – I never look at mail. It's a wonder my home hasn't been repossessed

11. How many different beverages have you had today? Water, Sprite Zero, and a pumpkin spice latte from Sbux. Mmmm.

12. Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machines? I’m not sure know anyone with a real answering machine anymore. Maybe my parents. And I do leave them messages from time to time, so yeah, I guess so

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, baby!

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No

15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had? Wisdom teeth pulled, ouchies.

16. What is out your back door? My patio.

17. Any plans for Friday night? Yes, we’re driving to Orlando

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? Not at all, it makes it sticky and stinky and I can’t wait to wash it

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? At work, yes. Yummy cheese!

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Not for ages, but we used to go to Hayden all the time when I was younger. I don’t think it’s even called the Hayden Planetarium anymore

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? Listen, I do enough laundry as it is. One-use towels? Gimme a break!

22. Some things you are excited about? My first Christmas in a loooong time with a big family, making the most of my career and waiting to see if I can meet the demands of my current position, the imminence of holiday gingerbread lattes from Sbux

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? I usually mix a sugar pack with a sugarfree pack and I almost always gel it with fruit. It mostly tastes the same… some reddish/pinkish gelatin concoction with canned pineapple floating in it.

24. Describe your keychain(s)? grey key fob to get me into work, various little plastic membership thingies (blockbuster, Borders, LA Fitness), and always at least one Hello Kitty item.

26. Where do you keep your change? In the change purse section of my wallet. Chulo keeps his in a 5-gal water jug next to one of my many shoe racks

27. What kind of winter coat do you own? A long black leather one, which is not actually mine but has been on perma-loan from Diane since like, I dunno, maybe winter 2000??

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? I think it must have been cloudy on my HS graduation day, since we held it in the gym. But we had the party of all parties on the lawn outside afterwards, so it couldn’t have been too bad. I don’t remember the other graduations.

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open, unless I have houseguests.

30. Did U read this far? Consider yourself tagged (you know, if you wanna do it)!!

Lazy Weekend

2006-10-29T22:27:00.000-05:00

I can't remember the last time I had one of these lazy weekends. You know, the kind where you wake up late, laze around, do some chores, laze some more, catch up with people on the phone, and just generally relax? It's so nice.

Of course I've done about 947 loads of laundry this morning, but that's par for the course. I swear I am forever doing laundry.

I really need this weekend right now, too... it's been a crazy week, and it looks like another crazy one coming up. I really have not had a spare moment to post, comment or even read blogs. I had 42 new emails when I logged on to yahoo this morning. It's like I don't even want to look at a computer screen since I spend my whole day sitting front of one at work. But also, it's been such an exhausting week and I just haven't had much time to blog or check email, etc. By the time I get home and we have some dinner, I just want to spend a little time talking and cuddling with Chulo. We're both so stressed out.

But enough of the whining. We're all busy.

...

So back to the lazy weekend. I actually left work at FIVE O'CLOCK on the button yesterday. Which wound up not being my brightest idea because my plan, at 5pm, was to run down to Hollywood and surprise Chulo at work, pester him to close the shop just a weeeeeee bit early and then hit the town. Of course I had Friday afternoon traffic and he was already closing up by the time I got there. But we still hit the town... had dinner and drinks at the Hard Rock Casino, where we also lost a bill each. Mine's par for the course but Chulo usually wins. Lucky bastard. Then we went to see the Prestige which was pretty good although the ending was upsetting. And now I'm just enjoying my Saturday at home. It's grey out and I'm still in my jammies, and I can't remember the last time that happened this late on a Saturday. Mmmm.

Then again, last weekend was so lovely too. And still quite relaxing, even though we travelled... Chulo hinted about 2 weeks earlier that we'd be going away, but I didn't know where to. All I knew was that it wasn't Orlando... or at least that if it was, it wasn't to visit family. On Thursday night I finally got him to tell me (since I needed to know what to pack!) ... we were driving down to this pretty spot that he fell in love with on our drive home from Key West a couple of months ago. He'd rented this sweet little oceanfront cottage in Grassy Key. I'm so glad we showed up at night, because in the light of day, the place looks like a little blue shack from the outside! But it was cute inside ... kind of like a studio, with the bed and bathroom up a few steps from the kitchen/living room. It took us until late Saturday morning to realise that the bathroom did indeed have a door (it's one of those hidden doors that slides into the wall when not in use), so Friday night and Sat morning we kept banishing each other to the living room or even outside if we had to use the bathroom. We felt pretty stupid (or at least I did) when Chulo noticed the hidden door. What do they call those doors? I'm sure it has a name, like a Murphy or a trundle bed and such.

Anyway, it was really nice. The weather was beautiful, ans we were literally steps from the ocean so there were balmy breezes galore. We had a little grill outside. We're not allowed to keep a grill at home -- local ordinance -- so we got all excited about that and bought way too much food, so we invited his coworker and his wife (the coworke's wife, not Chulo's!) over to eat with us. They have a little trailer in Key Largo, about 40 miles north. There was so much food that we had enough left over for the next day, so we stopped up to see them and have lunch on the way back.

Mostly we did lovely little Florida Keys things, like sit in the sun (there was a hammock but everyone fell off it, stupid hammock!) and visit goofy little tourist shops along the ride home. If you've never been to the Keys, or even if you have, but you don't live in Florida -- there is only one road, from southwest Miami allllll the way down to Key West, which is probably about 120 miles or so, and that's US 1. Or Federal Highway or Overseas Highway, or whatever you want to call it. But that's all there is, with the ocean to the east and the Gulf of Mexico to the west, and it's ... I don't know, it's its own little universe. So visiting all the roadside curiosities is half the fun of getting there (or getting back).

...

Ok so now its Sunday night and it feels like anything but a lazy weekend. We went to the Ft. Lauderdale boat show today and walked from here to there to everywhere, then went for a stroll along the river downtown, then out for dinner and just got home about an hour ago. I've been writing this post since yesterday afternoon and I'm wondering if I'll have the energy to finish it before getting into jammies and jumping into bed.

Then again, I've already discussed the past two weekends, so what else is there to say, really? Oh I know...

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

back

2006-10-24T19:38:00.000-04:00

from romantic weekend getaway

will post/comment soon

I promise!

So that NYC post...

2006-10-18T22:51:00.000-04:00

Man, it's been so long since we got back from that trip, I'm not really sure I can remember enough to write a whole blog post! Actually I'm not sure how it worked out that I said I would write a whole post on that trip at all. I mean it was fun and all but it was just, you know... NY.

If you read me regularly, you probably know that I'm a NYer, born and raised. So going to NY is not a very special event for me. I mean, I love it... it will always be home, and I always have a great time. But I try to make at least 2 trips a year, so it's not really one of those "ooh! you went on vacation to new york city!" things. I just went home.

A couple of things were different about this trip, though. For one, I was really travelling for work. Yes, I convinced Chulo to fly up and make a weekend out of it, but the real purpose of my trip was work-related. For another, I travelled with a coworker, who has become a personal friend over the past 2 years or so of working together. And she'd never been to NY before. That's just hard for me to get. I know there are outrageous numbers of humans on this planet -- hell, even in this country ... I mean even on the mainland of this country -- that have not been to NYC. But it's still hard for me to grasp, because ... well honestly, folks, because I'm a NYer and that whole thing about NYers believing that NY is the centre of the universe? Yeah, that's true. Please don't ask me to name even one of the square states in the middle. I'm not sure if that weird half-a-McDonald's arch thing is in Minnesota or Missouri. And no, thankyouverymuch, I do NOT have an accent. You do.

Right. So travelling with Debbie was supersuper fun because I got to be Tour Guide Barbie. And dudes, I was sooooooooo good at that. I mean, I can't believe all the things I remembered. I was dragging this poor woman up, down and crosstown. I made her get on the train (eeek!). At rush hour (eeeek! eeeek!). We walked the cobblestones of the financial district and rode all the escalators at Grand Central. I taught her the names of the bridges, gave her the history of the neighbourhoods and showed her the nooks and crannies of my youth. I cried at the world trade centre memorial and took her shopping for irregular couture at Century's. And the FOOD. Do you know how fabu it is to eat in Manhattan and not be on a budget? Fuck me, it was awesome.

And yet? I feel like we didn't do ANYTHING. She didn't have a java at Big Cup. We didn't take the ferry, or scale any tall buildings (in a single leap or otherwise). We didn't buy fake bags on Canal Street and she never got to eat a dirty water dog. We didn't do Museum Mile, gawk at the Madison Ave shop windows, or have dim sum at Wo Hop followed by cannoli at Ferrara's (okay Ferrara's is overrated, but still. It's a freakin institution).

Oh and another huge difference? I mean HUGE. I stayed in a hotel. In midtown. See, I'm a Queens girl. I loved living in Queens, both the suburbs and the yurban ghetto, and being a Queens girl, I could not fathom those city dwellers. I mean what is THAT? But listen, only having to walk over two streets and down one avenue to get to the office? Whaaaaaaaat, I slept til 7. For that, I could see living in the city. But oh MAN it was noisy, even from the 15th floor or wherever I was. And I felt like the office building across the street could see straight into my room (city blocks are pretty close together). And it was the midtown equivalent of staying in a Comfort Inn or something. You know, good enough... but not luxury. Then again, when I look back at how we lived in apartments in NY... it's just nothing like here. The spaces are smaller, the buildings are older, the surfaces are rougher. And yet, the prices are astronomically higher. I don't even want to tell you the price of that hotel room.

Yes I do. It was $600 a night. Fucking retarded money. Thank God for expense accounts.

All in all, Debbie says she had a great trip to NY, thanks to moi, and she's looking forward to going back again. Which seems likely, because we do an awful lot of business out of that office. I hope she gets to stay a little longer next time... maybe even through the weekend. There are so many things left to see.

So that was my week with Debbie. And then... Chulo got there. And I felt like Tour Guide Barbie all over again. Except this time, I had the Barbie dream car too. In the form of a blue Hyundai Sonata. Which, thank God, he was driving. Lord knows I would have had an accident. I may have learned to drive by racing yellow cabs, but it's been a long time since I've had to deal with that kind of traffic mania.

He was so cute... my little NY baby, who grew up literally 10 miles (if that) away from my house, had no idea of how to get around in the big bad city. I don't think he ever left Queens. It was so weird.

So we spent Friday night with my sister and her husband... Saturday afternoon with his grandmother, then Saturday evening we drove to visit his friends out on Long Island and spent the night and most of Sunday there. I went shopping with his buddy's wife on Sunday, trying desperately to find an appropriate gift for Chulo's birthday... we ran from store to store and then finally the light dawned...

Dzer will be so proud of me...

I bought him golf clubs.

And had them shipped to his sister's house because I didn't think I'd be able to hide the huge box from him as we drove back into the city and flew home. I'm a genius!

He hasn't used them yet, but he swears he likes them. He's been saying how he wants to learn because his boss/all the guys at work are golfers and he can't join them. So I think I will also get him some lessons so that he doesn't look like a loser the first time he goes out there with them. They'll know he's a beginner, but at least he can look good with his novice swing.

Ok this post is starting to bore me and I'M the one writing it, so I'll spare you the rest. I just wanted to give the NY update and I think I've accomplished that so I guess I'm done. Let's plan a blogger trip to the city so I can play Tour Guide Barbie again. Maybe I'll even get a pink nubby silk suit with a matching pillbox hat and scarf. I draw the line at going blonde, though. :)

buzz

2006-10-15T01:30:00.000-04:00

I have so much to talk about. Actually for the first time, I have the draft of a post (yes, the NY post -- finally!) already sitting in my dashboard or whatever, but I'm shooting past it to post this instead.

What a week. I can't possibly blog about everything that's gone through my mind this week, because 1) much of it is work-related and now that I understand what "dooce" means, I don't really want to risk it happening to me, and 2) my memory is just not that good. But it was one of those weeks in which something happens every day, and not just some random everyday somethings, but weird, good, catch-you-off-guard, blogworthy somethings. Mainly, I learned things. For example:

I am an executive. That's so weird. Dudes, I am only 31. I still use the word "dude" with relative frequency. I only wear suits a few times a month, and most of my shoes are anything but sensible. And yet ... I am an executive. How did I make this startling discovery, you might ask? Well. This week, we had a quarterly operations meeting at work. You know, the kind of meeting where all the bigwigs get together and make presentations and discuss the present state of the company and what its future looks like, and who has to do what to get to that future state. I wasn't invited to this meeting. I'm still relatively new to the company, and I imagine that's the reason why, since I was the only executive/officer not present. Still, I was a little dismayed to not be invited. But then I thought ... better to not have to go, as I have soooooooooo much work to do that I can't really spare a whole day for meetings. Also, I figured it would be boring. And more than likely, it was. But. Buuuuutttt. I was still working at the end of the day, when the meeting finally adjourned. And some coworkers (who were in the meeting) stopped by to ask me such and so. And my boss stopped in too, to discuss some other aspect of the meeting and how can I devise X to produce Y solution. And then, boys and girls, my boss asked me to join them for dinner. Like an idiot, I declined. Really. When your boss, who happens to be the CEO, asks you to join him and about 9 or 10 other executives for dinner, you DO NOT say no. But dumbass me... said no. Luckily, I said no in front of at least 3 of said executives, who proceeded to guilt me into joining them. So I did. I had a date at the gym with Chulo, but I decided maybe... just MAYBE... this was more important. And I went. And it was brilliant.

It't not like I spent my evening brainstorming, or learning the intricate details of the company, or dazzling my coworkers with wit and moxie. But I was there, folks. To my left was the CEO. To my right, the CFO. We were also joined by the HR Director, the VP of International Business, the head of Trading, and the Chairman, among others. I spend a lot of time these days thinking about my job and wondering if I'm really ready to take on the challenge that I've taken. Wondering if I'm going to do something unforgivably stupid and disappoint my boss, and possibly ruin my career. But you know... then I think, but these people believed in me. They chose ME. They come to me day in and day out, asking for my opinion. They expect a lot from me, and I try very hard to deliver. And then, I find myself sitting among these brilliant people and I realise that I'm not there by some accident of fate but because they want me there. And that is a really good feeling.

I also learned that you don't always get what you want, but your chances increase substantially if you ask for it. During said executive dinner, or rather immediately prior to it, I used the valet to park my car -- not because I'm an insufferable snob (even if I do work in Boca), but because it was starting to rain and I'd just blown my hair out. So five minutes later, the valet guy comes into the restaurant to tell me that I had a flat tire. Being the kind of girl who has absolutely NO idea how to change a flat tire or even what to do about a flat tire other than call my boyfriend or roadside assistance, I looked at the guy, smiled a big executive smile, and asked him if he would kindly change it for me. And he motherfucking DID IT. I'm still kind of in shock about that one. I'm not the kind of girl who can just bat her eyelashes or flash a little leg and get whatever she wants. I'm the kind that relies on ingenuity and personality rather than feminine wiles and physical attributes. And ingenuity and personality don't really go as far. And yet, it worked! I think it may have had something to do with the company I was keeping that night. Or maybe he likes big girls. Or maybe he was just being a nice guy. Anywhichway, I'm immensely pleased with myself for being so brazen as to ask for such a thing. And yes, I left him a large tip ...or at least as large as the cash amount in my wallet would allow, which was $25.

Also? I can totally pull off costume jewelry. I never thought I could... I have always worn exactly the same gold necklace, bracelet and earrings, every day. Bo-ring. I sleep, shower, exercise, clean, and just generally live with them on. Wearing other stuff always felt weird. But while I was in NY, I went shopping with Debbie, who is a costume jewelry maven. And there were just sooooooooo many cute things. Mind you, I have always loved shopping for costume jewelry, because I can usually find someone that I think a particular piece would be just lovely on, and so I live vicariously through those gift purchases. But Debbie helped me shop for my own lovely little baubles, and I started wearing them shortly after I returned to Florida. Now I find myself looking at the stuff EVERYWHERE. And I'm really good at putting the pieces together with different outfits ... like the smoky amethyst crystal tri-strand with my sheer mauve blouse over a black shell and trousers. Or the long silver chain with the large round glossy black pendant with my black pinstripe pants and white blouse. Granted, all this glamour takes an extra 3-5 minutes each morning, which I really cannot spare, but I've been having a good time with the stuff anyway. Oh and? Wearing costume jewelry -- not the junky stuff that we wore as kids in the 80s but the real quality stuff that won't discolour even though it's not made of precious metals? Makes me feel VERY executiveish! -s-

So many other things happened this week ... little things, annoying things, revelations, disappointments. But I'm too tired to blog about them just now. So I'm going to gently wake my slumbering boyfriend (who I think gets some of his best sleeps lying on the couch while I'm at the computer), and cuddle up with him in bed, and get a good night's sleep. I have some work that I brought home with me that I shouuld really do tomorrow, plus I want to go shopping for Christmas preparations (I know, it's still so early but we've already started our shopping!) and maybe buy another necklace or two!

Confession

2006-10-08T11:11:00.000-04:00

I have a confession to make.

I have been at home, in pajamas, since about 3pm Friday afternoon.

Against vehement protest, I have sent my boyfriend away to a transmission parts and building expo (whatever that may consist of) in Orlando.

I have been taking my antibiotics, my cough syrup, and my temperature regularly.

I have read some of my book. I have watched some television. I have played several rounds of Yahoo! Gin. I have read and responded to work emails, and drafted a strategy for disciplining one of my brokers. And I have taken several short naps, woken from each one by a violent coughing fit.

I have scattered my floor with snotty tissues and broken my diet by putting honey in my tea and sucking on ice pops.

And in all this time, I have not blogged. I've visited your blogs, read them and even commented, but I have not written a post, knowing full well that I owe a post about our NYC exploits.

I'm sorry.

But in my defense, it's been soooooooooo good to just relax for a bit. Even if I had to get sick to finally be able to do it.

I know...

2006-09-28T21:56:00.000-04:00

I suck.

I'm a bad blogger.

But it's been soooooooooo busy. Between work and travelling for work (ooh I have to tell you about the NY trip -- SO MUCH FUN but sooooo very exhausting!) and travelling for fun and then more work and volunteering for this and devising a workout schedule (complete failure there) and trying to be a good friend and then even more work, and getting all the mundane things done, like grocery shopping and laundry and you know, sleeping and showering... you get the picture! I can barely keep up with commenting on other blogs these days. I have been trying to read, though... so you're not getting rid of me that easily!

Ooh but I did see the season premiere of One Tree Hill so I'll have to get with Sass about how SHE felt about that!

Wish Chulo a happy birthday! Next week I'll tell you what I finally decided to get him for his big day, since his asswipe boss dashed all of my lovely cruising plans. Bastard!!

Have a wonderful weekend, blogland! I promise I'll be back to posting/commenting soonishly.

Professional Help

2006-09-17T17:50:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd borrow the term from Terry, since she blogged about the topic that was in MY head! (Bad Terry)

As I mentioned in the last ramblepost, at long last, I decided to hire a cleaning service. I've bandied this idea about for quite some time, and haven't committed to it for any number of reasons, ranging from "I can't afford it" (bollocks) to "I'm exploiting the immigrants" (bollocks) to "Am I really so lazy that I cannot clean my own home?" (yes) to "I'm not sure I trust these people in my home when I'm not there" (still sorta true).

But I was talking about it with one of the girls at work and she absolutely RAVED about the service that she uses, and claimed that another one of the girls in the office uses the same service and that said other girl is equally enamored of them, and here's their number, don't delay call now! She really did give them such a glowing review that I thought... why not? We really never are around long enough to clean... we both work long days and by the time we get home, have dinner and clean up from that, it's past 8pm and no one is in the mood for cleaning or any other sort of "ing" other than sitt"ing", talk"ing", smooch"ing" and sleep"ing".

So I called them up and made an appointment. I was so excited, I called Chulo straight away with my announcement. His reaction?

"You did what? Why?"

"Um, because the house is a mess"

"So, we can clean it"

"Clearly we cannot, my love... otherwise it would be clean right now"

"I think you should cancel"

"The shop fumes are affecting your reason, honey... why would I cancel?"

"Give me $64, I'll clean the house. Crazy woman!"

Hehe. Reminded me of an old boyfriend who, when I would admire this or that little trinket (or pair of shoes, or window treatment), would say "I can make that." Uh, no you can't. And Chulo can't clean the house, either. I mean he CAN, but not the way I want it cleaned. Not the way I'm expecting it will be cleaned by two women being paid $16/hour each (or at least that's what I'm being charged ... God KNOWS how much those girls get out of that).

In the end, Chulo always lets me get away with murder (thanks baby!) and I told him we'd just hire them this one time to see how it goes, then decide from there whether we'd sign up for regular service. So we forged ahead with the plan. A minor adjustment to the plan, since I had originally arranged for them to come last weekend when I forgot we'd be out of town attending a wedding (SEE what I mean about never being home? Yeah.)

So yesterday morning, bright and early (ahem, 7:48 am), two girls came knocking on our door (poor Chulo was asleep). I let them in and they took quick stock of the place, then busted out their bucket of cleaning supplies (I asked them to use mine instead -- I'm particular about smells), and got started. I was busy for a while, trying to hang up all my carelessly strewn clothing and put away all the dried but unfolded laundry, and deal with the piles of undealt-with mail (I hate mail and hardly ever open any). But I was done with all that after about a half an hour and then I thought... well now what do I do? So then I started feeling guilty and slothful, because there we were with the tv on and these two girls were slaving away... I mean, I found the one girl dusting my wine bottles. Thankfully, I'm not the pretentious sort that prefers dust on the bottles as proof of aged authenticity or whatever. Plus, there's nary a $20 bottle on the rack. But I digress... I guess if I'm going to let people service me, then I have to learn that it's ok to let them do their jobs and not flutter about trying to make myself feel more productive and less guilty/lazy/elitist. I had to learn it after I got my first pedicure, and I'll have to learn it again now. Fine.

About 30 minutes into the job, one of the girls asked me if this was a one-time thing or if I planned to schedule regular service, because she would be happy to come and work for me "away from the company" but that if she did, the other girl wouldn't be helping her. I was thrown off -- I think I'd have less of an issue with it if she'd been to my place a few times and we were comfortable with each other. But that just made me feel that she was a dishonest person. Chulo says she's just trying to make a decent buck, and I guess that's true... but I didn't feel it was a good start to our professional relationship. And in the end, she was the one who did the worse job of the two girls. So I believe I'll pass.

And the verdict is, they did a good job. I was expecting a great job, from the tremendous endorsement of my coworkers. But it was good enough, the house is clean and neat, smells nice, and I'm pretty sure I'd like to keep using a service. But I don't believe I want to use those girls again. First, there was the underhanded offer. Then I found some dirt in my shower and under the faucet in my bathroom sink (Chulo's bathroom looked good but his shaver attachment is missing). Also, my front door is on the first floor... there's nothing ON the first floor but a teensy foyer and a closet, but there is a first floor and there are stairs. The girls did not vaccuum the stairs, nor did they sweep up the bit of dirt on the floor right inside the door where I put the plants when I brought them in for the tropical storm a few weeks ago. They didn't sweep or mop the patio. All in all, it was fine. But had I done it myself, I would have done a more thorough job. Of course the whole point of hiring them was because I don't have the time to do it myself ... but I think I'd like a service that would do as good a job as I would do myself... or is that pipe dream?

The next hurdle? Convincing Chulo that we should have this service at least once a month.

this n that

2006-09-12T20:52:00.000-04:00

I don't have much exciting to write about, but I thought it was time to update. So here's a little sampling of the thoughts I've had today:

YAY I'm going to NYC next week
OMG I'm going to NYC next week and there is going to be SOOOO much work waiting for me when I get back to the office
My boyfriend's boss SUCKS ASS because he won't give him even one afternoon off so that I can surprise him (the boyfriend, not the boss) with a birthdayboy Caribbean weekend cruise
Watermelon is sooooooooo good!
YAY we're home this weekend, for the first weekend in what feels like... EVER. Of course next weekend Chulo's coming up to meet me in NY and the weekend after we're in Orlando, so it's a short-lived YAY but YAY all the same
Lush soap rocks
My feet have been swelling like balloons lately and I have no clear idea why. The swelling goes down if I wear sneakers, but that's not really a viable option at work, so I've taken to walking around in the mornings with my underwear and sneakers as I get ready. I'm pretty sure that Chulo thinks I'm a madwoman
I NEED to start working out again. Like, badly
YAY I finally hired a cleaning service and they are coming this weekend. This place is a disaster area, mainly because we're NEVER here long enough to clean it... only long enough to dirty it
Chulo is trying to turn me into a Nip/Tuck fan, but I'm fighting it. Mostly because they cut people open and there's blood. Ew.
I miss my parents
I think I might vote Republican in the Florida gubernatorial race, now that it's certain that Tom Gallagher won't be the conservative candidate. I need to do some more research, but that Charlie Crist seems like an ok sorta guy
When oh WHEN will it bloody stop raining? It's depressing. AND it makes it too easy to say ... eh, let's not go out walking tonight
I don't believe I will ever be able to give up chocolate. Not ever.
I'm going to lose my mind if I don't find a replacement for my home office compliance manager soon. There's way too much work to be done for me to indulge his lacksadaisical work ethic much longer. And the worst part? I feel like an age-ist for saying so. But the truth is he's a throwback from another era where managers sat around, chewed the fat with the brokers and read the paper, then went home at 4.
Chulo literally just said "get over here so I can bite you!" to me. No offense to you guys, but... yeah, I'll be going now.

Happy Tuesday, blogworld!

Death of a Laptop

2006-09-06T21:17:00.000-04:00

I'm renaming my laptop. It's been Waxy Dell Spongebob for a while but I think I will change it to Dell Noboot Loman. Not as compelling as an Arthur Miller play, perhaps... but I'm pretty sure I've got a dead laptop on my hands. All of a sudden the thing's gone stupid and won't boot up. Every time I try, I get a blue screen that says:

STOP: INACCESSIBLE BOOT DEVICE
If this is the first time you've seen this Stop error screen [it
isn't, I've gotten it about 6 times in a row now], restart your computer. If this screen appears again, follow these steps:

1. Check for viruses on your computer. Etc., etc.
2. Something about chkdisk.

My question is, how am I to check for viruses on a computer that won't boot up? Hmmm?? Stupid machine. Anyone have any idea how to get past that screen? Or should I just call the Geek Squad or something??

I've been using Chulo's desktop in the meantime, but I don't like it. His resolution is too low and I'm just being cranky because I have 4 years of work, photos and music on my laptop that I fear may be lost forever. Not only that, but I have to travel for business in a couple of weeks and it's going to be a disaster if I don't have a laptop to bring with.

In other news, please stop raining. It's depressing me and also it's even colder at work when it's raining.

Tease

2006-08-30T13:03:00.000-04:00

That's what Ernesto turned out to be... a total tease. Last week, he looked like a big bunch of nothingtoworryabout... then all of a sudden on Monday he was headed for us and expected to strengthen into a Cat 1. We all brought our patio furniture inside and made sure we had tanks full of gas and freezers full of ice and lots of bottled water and batteries... and then? Nothin.

Admittedly, that image does not show the storm over Florida ... looks more like somehwere around Hispaniola. But it does look pretty scary, doesn't it? When he finally made landfall in Florida, he looked a bit more like this:

And then he just proceeded to get weaker and weaker. There was wind, there was rain, and there's still quite a bit of cloud cover ...but all in all, Ernesto was a big old tease.

Several good things have come of this:

I get to stay home and work in my pajamas
I get to blog under the guise of staying home and working in my pajamas
I don't have to eat Chulo's SPAM

Now, let's hope that's the last of the tropical storms/hurricanes for this season. I know that's unreasonable... but let's face it: if a man can be a tease, then a woman can suspend reality and be unreasonable. If only just this once.

Tag Time

2006-08-26T08:31:00.000-04:00

Terry tagged me with this meme umm... well quite some time ago, actually. Let's not labour on how long ago it was and instead get on with the meme, shall we?

2 moments in your life you'd like to erase
Do they have to be moments? I mean I've done some things that I might like to erase, but I'm not sure I can pinpoint a precise moment at which I said or did something that set those events in motion. So hmmm....okay.
*Meeting my ex. I had all sorts of warning bells going off in my head and I knew he was too immature and full of dreams that he didn't have the means to fulfill, but he was sweet and I was so tired of dead-end dating. Disastrous results.
*The moment mom told me she had breast cancer

4 moments you'd like to relive:
*Key West with Chulo
*Finding out I'd passed the bar exam
*When my sister came home for the first time, but I'd like to relive it as an older version of me so I could appreciate it more
*Celebrating Las Fallas in Valencia on the eve of spring ... but this time, preferably with no late-night notice that my country was at war

2 places you wouldn't want to go to/go to again:
*Staten Island -- ew
*Key West -- it was so perfect the first time, that I think I can never go back again for fear that it wouldn't be just as I remembered it.

4 places you can't wait to visit/visit again

*London

*Spain -- but next time I want to explore the whole country. I never got to Madrid, Toledo, or the Andaluz region. DYING to go there.

*India

*A western carribbean cruise. Really any cruise, but if I get to pick, I'd like the western Carribbean, please. And not during hurricane season. And I'd like a room with a balcony. Thanks!

Uhh sorry -- I just tried to do bullets and it messed up the whole flow of that section -- forgive the weird interruption

2 foods you can't stand:
*Cauliflower
*Okra

4 foods you love:
*Ice Cream
*Stuffed grape leaves
*Roasted vegetables
*Chocolate

2 current songs that make you change the station:
*that annoying Rhianna song
*the entirely overplayed Panic at the Disco song. Let it be known that I love that CD but I am just SO SICK of that song being played on endless rotation.

4 current songs you play over and over:
this is a combo of radio and CD... the radio ones are ones I WOULD play over and over if I had the CD, but I don't
*Valio la Pena (Marc Anthony) -- CD
*Over My Head (the Fray) -- radio
*Embarrassing, yes... but that song by Nick Lachey... Take What's Left (not sure what it's called?) -- radio
*Do Ya Want To? (Franz Ferdinand) -- CD

2 books you'd never finish/read again:
*Most non-fiction
*The Dictionary of Failed Relationships -- to her credit, Nat warned me that this book was awful. Oh my God it's AWFUL

4 books you have read more than once, and/or will read again:
*The Eight, Katherine Neville
*One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
*The God of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
*Probably anything by Naguib Mahfouz

Tag 2-4 people:
Uhh... geez, who hasn't done this tag yet? I'll take a risk and tag
*Sass
*Cressida

Goodbyes

2006-08-16T23:42:00.000-04:00

No no, no worries... I'm not saying goodbye to blogger... although I am leaving for that conference tomorrow morning... But I have some goodbyes that I need to say and, for different reasons, I can't say them directly to the people for whom they're meant. I know I'm overdue for a post and I've had this one brewing in my head for several days now, but it's just so damn BUSY around here! So I will try to do these goodbyes the justice they deserve while keeping this post short as it's late and I have yet to finish packing. And I will do Terry's meme next week-ish. Promise!

Goodbye Joanna.
We knew this was coming for quite some time now, but it's still a shock to accept the reality of it. Joanna was my friend Julie's sister, and she was diagnosed with lung cancer -- stage 4 -- about 14 months ago. I only knew her through Julie, but we'd hung out several times over the years... less frequently since she got sick. She really rocked that elfin short haircut that so many women sport after chemo. I mean she made it look GOOD. The last time I saw her, I cooked for her -- one of my specialties. Not sure I will ever be able to make that dish again without thinking of her.

The memorial service was at Julie's parents' house on Sunday afternoon, and it was very painful. Not only did her parents bury a child (she was 38), but her children buried a parent. They were all so strong, and the girls, who are 15 and 9, looked beautiful. I can't imagine what they're going through.

Jo, if I'd known it would be the last time I'd see you, I would have given you a hug.

Goodbye Ian.
I loved you and counted on you and thoroughly enjoyed our friendship, our conversations, and our music. I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish you'd been more open with me about your feelings. I don't mean to say that doing so would have changed anything -- now or at any time -- but still I wish I'd known. In fact, even today, I wish I knew what it is that you feel. But perhaps it's moot, because things are what they are, and I do not want to put myself in that position again. Like we always said, if things were different... well, they're not. They probably never will be. And I'm sorry that suddenly means something different than it used to, or maybe it always meant one thing to you but you never told me. I do not know, but I have to respect your wishes, senseless as they may seem to me.

You left in a haze of beer and apology and you will be missed. Please know that my heart is open to you any time you want to talk. We'll always have Franz, Keane and the Arctic Monkeys. Oh and PS, I never told you, but I've always thought of Bend & Break as "our" song.

And now, little bloggers, I'm off to bed. No goodbyes, just goodnight. :o)

Meme I stole from Nat

2006-08-09T21:08:00.000-04:00

...who stole it from Dzer, who stole it from someone else, who probably stole it as well... and I don't know why she swallowed that flyyyyy....

....I guess I'll just go on with the meme!

1. My roommate and I once: pretended to be married just to get past this condo board for an apartment we both loved (former roommate of course)

2. Never in my life have I: punched anyone or had a fistfight

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: probably Nat

4. High school was: too long ago for me to remember.

5. When I'm nervous: I bite my nails

6. The last time I cried was: ok don’t laugh. I cried at the end of the movie The Ringer last night. I know, I’m lame

7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: happy I wouldn’t make them wear rose-coloured ruffles

8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends? I’ll go with the email, since I don’t know what my deepest secret is, and I’d like to find out

9. My hair: rocks. Except when it’s curly.

10. When I was 5: my sister was born and we had an orange occasional chair in my house. I know this because I was photographed holding her on the day she came home from the hospital, sitting in that chair.

11. Last Christmas: was fairly miserable, having been broken up with 2 weeks prior by the jerk I was dating, and having had to make emergency travel plans to spend it with my parents when I had made alternate plans.

12. When I turn my head left: I notice that my darling Chulo has vaccuumed the dust off the slats in the a/c room door

13. I should be: exercising and/or cleaning out the fridge

14. When I look down I see: a pink stain on my sweater. God knows where that came from

15. The craziest recent event was: listening to the training tapes from the NY office brokers. What a disaster. Folks, do not buy stocks from cold callers! Just don't!

16. If I were a character on "Friends" I'd be: the fat one

17. By this time next year: my home may have blown away by a hurricane.

18. My favorite aunt is: I’m not particularly close to any of my aunts, but I call my godmother “Aunt Jan” so I guess she can be my favourite.

19. I have a hard time understanding: complicated financial principles

20. One time at a family gathering: oh God. I’m not doing the "this one time! at band camp!" thing.

21. You know I like you if: I actually listen when you speak

22. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank: would depend on what kind of award it was

23. Take my advice: yeah, take it. It’s usually really good.

24. My ideal breakfast is: constantly changing. These days I’m into homemade peanut butter elvis shakes (thank you, Planet Smoothie). It’s a chocolate malt carnation instant breakfast, a cup of skim milk, a banana and ½ T of peanut butter.

25. If you visit my home town: you might get robbed.

26. Sometime soon I plan to visit: everywhere.

27. If you spend the night at my house: You will sleep in a comfy bed with lots of pillows and I will make you french toast and fruit salad in the morning.

28. I’d stop my wedding if: my parents weren’t there.

29. The world could do without: stupid people.

30. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: I’m so sorry, but that is something I will never do, so there’s no point in talking relatives.

31. The most recent thing I'’ve bought myself is: Uhh.. lunch

32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: Flowers.

33. My favorite blonde is: Umm. This IS a dumb question. I’m not sure I even know any blondes.

34. My favorite brunette is: This is also a dumb question. I’m skipping all the remaining dumb questions.

35. My car must have a sign on it that reads: “Go ahead, jump into my lane way before it’s safe to do so. I’m really a figment of your imagination. No white Camry here!”

36. The last time I was drunk: Ummmm not sure. Possibly my housewarming party after buying this place. Seems like a very long time ago but I can’t remember anything more recent

37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: Skip!

38. I shouldn't have been: peeking in my parents' closet that one time.

39. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? Ever? I shaved it on Monday night

40. Last night I: worked late, made sandwiches for dinner, and watched The Ringer.

41. There's this girl I know who: has the dubious distinction of being named Vegina. Yes, people.

42: I don't know: so many things

43. A better name for me would be: something more unique and more professional-sounding than “Jennifer” – maybe like Margaret or Ursula or Judith or whatever

44. If I ever go back to school I'll: have myself euthenised

45. How many days until my birthday?: I’m not counting the days. I’d prefer to count backwards to my last birthday, thanks.

46. One dead celebrity I wish I'd met is: I’m really bad at the alive/dead celebrity game.

47. I've lived at my current address since: Ohh no, you're not getting me with this one, Big Brother!!

48. I've been told I look like: my father.

49. If I could have any car, it would be: the new Touareg, but it’s too gas-chuggly for me. I tried to test-drive the hybrid Camry but the very pathetic salesman could not find the keys to the ONE model they had on the sales floor. Oh well, no new car for Jmai.

50. If I got a new cat tomorrow, I would name it: I’ve already done the cat experiment this year, with dismal results. So this question is moot – skip!

Do you yahoo?

2006-08-01T22:18:00.000-04:00

I used to yahoo. Then I downloaded the new version of yahoo messenger. And now I don't know what the HELL is going on.

I can't figure out how to send IMs. I can't figure out how to shrink the window and close the annoying bottom part of the window that I never use. I can't figure out why it keeps opening up this Yahoo 360 page which I find useless and confusing. And finally, I cannot understand why it keeps showing me some name that I do not know as if this person is a friend of mine. I have a sneaking suspicion that it IS someone who's already on my list but of course I can't figure out how to email the old or the new contact to ask!

Normally I'm very open to change, and even as I deny it, I'm fairly hip to technology if I give it a little bit of thought. But right now, I'd like my old yahoo back.

Road Rage

2006-07-27T00:13:00.000-04:00

A woman tried to assault me today on my way to work. I mean she actually got out of her car and put her white trash face on the window of my car and started yelling at me through the window. Why? Because I called her a bitch and apparently she can read lips.

Of course she IS a bitch because she could obviously SEE that there was a stalled car in my lane (which I couldn't see a) until the other cars in front of me started moving out of the lane and b) because I'm in a camry and she's in a pickup truck so she's got the higher ground). And if she can SEE that I need to move into her lane for the simple purpose of being able to get where I'm going, and yet she insists that she will not let me in, no way, no how, then hell fucking YES I am going to give her the look of death and scream at the window "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKING BITCH??" (and incidentally also scream this into the phone to my poor mother, with whom I was having a very pleasant conversation up until that point). What am I not going to do, like um, ever? I am NOT going to get out of my car and scream at the other driver like a lunatic while she ignores me, continuing her phone conversation, as all the other drivers look on and go.... oh dear me. And then proceed to get back into my car and pull alllllllllllll the way up to just a millimetre away from the next car's bumper so that it's abundantly clear that no, there is no way I'm letting you in.

Oooookay.

Nat's right, I have to take her up on her challenge to me during the me-me-me meme (thanks Terry!), and I have to try to control my road rage. But I mean, have you ever driven in South Florida? It's like the place where all the NYers come so they can stop driving like maniacs but instead take it to obnoxious levels of driving rudeness. And that lady? Oi. Come to think of it, I should have had her ass arrested for assault. I'm guessing she doesn't know the legal definition or she wouldn't have pulled some shit like that.

So tomorrow, I'm going to try to have a gentle and smooth ride into work, and avoid upsetting other drivers while simultaneously trying to avoid letting the other drivers upset me.

Mmmhmmm... that's a challenge all right. I'll let you know how it turns out.

SPAM haiku

2006-07-18T21:28:00.000-04:00

Did you know there is a whole website dedicated to this? Well actually I just googled it and apparently the website is no longer but there are still plenty of these weird little poems dedicated to canned meat by-product. Anyway, I was unpacking the last of Chulo's boxes this weekend, and ...

Unpacking boxes
Found my boyfriend's can of spam
Gross little surprise

Is he serious?
He says it's hurricane food
I think it's yucky

Fine, Fine

2006-07-14T07:39:00.000-04:00

No one seems to want to comment -- either for fear of falling subject to the meme or because my blog sucks, I'm not sure. But just in case it's the former, I'll take away the evil meme post. For the record, *I* liked it.

In other news, I took the job. So yeah, my life is basically over now.

Happy Friday, bloggeroos!

Karma + Meme-thingy = happy weekend!

2006-07-08T08:50:00.000-04:00

I got some good news this week. I mean, not really good news for me in that it doesn't have any effect on my life... but it was feel-good news. Like when someone does you dirty and then you find out that they've recently gotten themselves stuck in a bind, and it's due in part to the dirty they did to you? I know it shouldn't, but it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. Anyway I can't really go into specifics, but suffice it to say that someone did something really inappropriate to me recently, and whether it's the ripple effects of what he did to me or just natural progression, he is now in a position where if he hadn't done to me what he did, he would be ok. He'll still be fine, because he's a smart guy, but I know he's suffering. And pissed. And this fills me with glee. Because what he did to me, although in the end it worked out, was really, really inappropriate and it's the sort of thing that grown, civilised people just do not do. Golden rule, baby.

Anyway. Sass had this cute little meme thing that works kinda differently. Instead of writing stuff about yourself, the tagger writes stuff about you, and then tags you to do the same to her (or him), and it goes on and on with you doing that for each of your commenters. Except Sass was kind enough to say she'd only do the tag to you if you asked for it, rather than doing it to all commenters. Or perhaps she did that because she has so many commenters. Well, I don't have that problem so I'm going to do it to ALL of you ...muahahahahahahahaha!

Ahem.

So it works like this: If you comment on this post:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you
2. I’ll challenge you to try something
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you

And,
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

Here's the tag she did for me (cut and pasted directly from her blog, because... well, I'm lazy), and then of course I had to comment back, so those are in italics. Now I have to do her on here (I think that's the way it goes! in the comments section?), and all you commenters are next!

1. i’ll respond with something random about you
i love the way you dive in with both feet and without holding back.

Thank you! I think I'm too old for the wading pool. If it goes wrong, at least it goes wrong straight away and I don't have to waste time wondering

2. i’ll challenge you to try something
i challenge you to um... damm this is hard. i challenge you to believe in yourself and take the big risk

Now this is kinda weird because I see the challenge as something I wouldn't ordinarily do without being challenged, yet this is sort of what you like about me in the first question. But I feel like I know where you're going with it and I believe I will accept your challenge!

3. i’ll pick a color that i associate with you
pink and no i have no idea why

That's funny because, especially recently, I think pink has become sort of my signature colour. I have pink shoes, a pink wallet, tons of pink clothes, I wear pink eyeshadow and lip gloss, and it just seems like I've been wearing more pink recently. I think I draw the line at a pink phone, though. Might be seen as unprofessional.

4. i’ll tell you something i like about you
i like that you're willing to look at the other person's side instead of assuming yours is right.

Mom taught me that one. I still think I'm right most of the time though.

5. i’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
butt!

Lol. Yeah, I used to use that alias before I had a blog and became JMai. It's a long-standing nickname with a completely retarded story behind it.

6. i’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
um. this one is dumb.

'Tis

7. i’ll ask you something i’ve always wanted to ask you
was it love at first sight with chulo?

No. I think when I met Chulo I was a little too disillusioned by both the online dating process and my past relationships to have enough faith to allow for love at first sight. But he was the first person I'd met in ages who I was into. Plus he's so fucking cute that if it were going to be love at first sight with anyone, it would be him.

8. if i do this for you, you must post this on yours
and do me!

My pleasure, Sasselina!

More business

2006-06-29T08:11:00.000-04:00

So. After just about a month of consulting (which consisted of less work and more attending to personal matters, including some much-needed down time), I've been offered a job. And I don't know if I should take it or not.

On the one hand, it's a great offer. It's for a company that I think is ... well, probably in a little bit of a mess, regulatorily-speaking, but not so deeply in that I can't get it into the green with a little hard work. It's for a Chief officer position, which is totally scary because I've never been the boss before, but I've been thinking, and I think I've done a lot in the second string seat ...not to say that there isn't still plenty I could learn in a deputy's position, but it would be hard to learn much more at that level, in a holistic sense (which is what I would want), especially down here as there aren't too many companies of the appropriate size and structure to need that kind of person at that level.

On the other hand -- oh the responsibility! It's not the workload I mind. I have no problem with the work, it's the liability I don't like. What if I screw up (and I WILL screw up)?

It's such a hassle because our employment record follows us everywhere. I know that's everyone generally speaking, but in brokerage it's very public. If you don't know what I mean by that, let me explain this way: if you ever get a cold call from a broker wanting to sell you some stock, you can investigate the broker's background by running his record through the NASD's public site. This won't give you (as a member of the general public) ALL of the information about this broker, but it will tell you where he's worked and whether he has any disciplinary history. Now, the site that employers have access to is much more detailed. What I'm basically trying to say is that most people can fudge a bit on their resumes. They can leave a job off if they only worked there for a few months, and extend the job immediately prior to get rid of the gap. Registered people (like me) can't do that, because all of our jobs go into that database. And if you have too much job jumping? It's like an automatic blackball.

Also? If some customer decides he's pissed that his broker took him for a ride? Very often he'll submit a complaint and name not only the broker, but all the broker's supervisors, up to and including -- yep you got it -- the chief of compliance. And if customer wins? There goes my clean record. I mean, it's all hypothetical and based on several "if" scenarios. But still it exists, and with much higher possibility than before.

And on yet another hand (bear with me as I morph into a three-handed, self-doubting, pajama-wearing creature), there is the fact that ...um, what about consulting? Now this really deserves its own hand, because I'm just starting to get out there and garner clients and it's been a real learning experience thus far. But while it's great to work for yourself and without any real liability (and no public records!), I'm not terribly self-motivated, so given the choice, I will frequently opt to stay in PJs or go out shopping or swimming, rather than work. Also, I haven't had the time to organise myself and my fledgling sole proprietorship, and even if I had, what if I never get another client? There's always the possibility of going weeks without a client. And yes the good part is I can charge enough to make up for the difference, but the bad part is, what if a new client never comes along?

Now they've agreed to let me keep the business as long as I don't take on any clients that would present a conflict of interest -- which of course I wouldn't. So I can use my spare time (ha!) to organise as an entity, figure out marketing plans, decide if I'll partner up with someone or a few someones, or go it alone. That freedom is a key factor weighing heavily for taking the job.

I'm just scared to step it up. Ugh. How can work suck this much out of you when you're not even making a paycheck??

business as usual

2006-06-26T00:45:00.000-04:00

I think I'm going to just give up on the idea of life becoming routine anytime soon. I know most people cringe at the concept of routine, but it's something that, especially as I get older, I find I appreciate and possibly even need. Which is not to say that veering from the routine isn't just as necessary at times, but I think it's nice if you have a routine to veer from, rather than constantly trying to find a routine in the hectic disorder of your life.

So I'm back in New York tonight. Wasn't I just here, you ask? Why yes, yes I was! But my presence was needed again, because Mama Jmai managed to land her silly self in the hospital after a pretty bad car accident and had to have spinal surgery -- pretty scary stuff. The worst part? For some inconceivable reason, no one wanted to tell me or Lil Sis -- and she only found out by chance, because she called up and wanted to talk to Mom ...and well, she wasn't around. They didn't want to worry us. Can you imagine! Because really... knowing that you would even consider keeping something like a secret is the thing that worries ME. Ayyy.

Anyway, Dad's got a court date out of town and someone needs to keep watch over poor Mom (whose surgery, thankfully, was a success -- but she's still very slow getting around and shouldn't be left to fend for herself), so here I am. Even considering the circumstances, it was nice to have the whole family (all 4 of us -- talk about nuclear) together without the significant others. I love my Chulo (and Lil Sis loves hers), and I love the way my family loves him, but there's something very nostalgic and fundamental when it's just us. Mom and I stayed up late tonight talking, and I don't get to do that with her that often, so I'm glad to be here. Even though I'd like to shake some sense into her (probably not too wise, considering the spinal surgery and all), and make her promise never to drive again (this isn't her first accident; she's only had two but they've both been doozies), it's an excuse to spend quality time and we just don't get enough of that.

So I've left poor Chulo alone, after only ...-counts-... 15 days of cohabitation, to fend for himself among the sea of boxes that is our foyer. And according to him, he's gotten a lot of work done. I admit I'm a little frightened, because I'm soooo anal about what goes where, but I'm thankful that he's taken the initiative, because really, it's been 2 weeks and the place is still a wreck... it's just been so hectic! But also, he's a good-natured sort, so if I move things around a different way, he's pretty likely to go with it. See, that's one of the things I love about him. I need someone who just goes with the flow -- being such an uppity and precise person myself.

Which reminds me of something that Mom and I were just talking about. People in relationships and how they act and who they are. And I said that one of the things that irks me is when people say that their significant other "completes" them. Because I think, if you're not a whole person, you don't have much business trying to make a lasting relationship with anyone other than yourself. I don't think the answer is to have someone else finish your story; I think it's finding someone who can tell a different side of the same story. I think Chulo is a good complement to me -- we both have strong personalities but we're strong in different areas, and we pick up each other's slack. But I don't think he completes me and I don't need him to make my life more complete. I want him, to make my life more happy, maybe more stable. But not more complete.

That said, I think we've all come to terms with my sister's marriage. I'm not sure that either of them was (or is) a complete person, but they've chosen to bond themselves in marriage and that's a commitment that I'm not sure I thought she was capable of until I watched her do it. I'm immensely proud of her and happy that she's finding her way, and happy that she's got someone who's committed to her to help her find it. And I think she'll help him too. And what else can a girl want for her sister, really?

Oh PS the wedding was a perfect disaster. I almost didn't make it, they brought the wrong flowers, the officiant was a drunken klutz, they lost her wedding music, and we had to rush out of the reception after 5 minutes because they started so late and I was going to miss my plane. Which I missed anyway, and instead sat in the airport for 5 hours with Chulo (because he changed his reservation so that I wouldn't have to wait alone -- isn't he fantastic?), when we could have been at the wedding instead. But their vows were lovely and she was beautiful and it was a very happy occasion, I got to see friends and family that I don't see very often, and my sister was happy (well, she was a total stressball, but she was happy), and all was good in the world.

Let it be known, however, that I am boycotting Carnival Cruise Lines for the rest of my life. And I would never in a million years suggest to anyone that they choose that particular venue for their nuptials.

Wedding planners have a (I think) fairly simple, but exceptionally important job. I know a lot of people might read that and say, "now Jmai, how can you possibly think that planning a wedding is simple? That takes a lot of work!" Well, while I agree that it's a lot of work, I think it precisely thusly: people with jobs like "wedding planner" are people who probably really enjoy what they do. They're (ostensibly) good at throwing parties, planning details, and arranging pretty things. They're most likely romantics who, when the wedding date finally arrives, feel a sense of pride in their work, but also a sense of pride in the marriage itself, as if they've groomed the bride (hehe, that's kinda funny... "groomed" the bride ... anyway) for this day, and not only the bride but the whole event is sort of their progeny. When you enjoy your job this much, it's just not that hard to do, because you're looking forward to the end result as much as, if not more than, anyone else. It's not like people who just do what their bosses tell them to do without taking any ownership of the end product. This is the fruit of your many months effort, and it's beautiful. And if you enjoy what you're doing, and you're good at it -- well, it's just not that hard. And if you're still not convinced, then let me say it this way: I would probably pay people to let me arrange their events for them, instead of the other way round. I am awesome at throwing parties and planning galas. For the big events, yes, absolutely, it's an ordeal. I will change my mind about a single detail several times, I will bicker with vendors and boss around the helpers, and I will cry just before the whole things kicks off, for nothing but sheer nerves. It's stressful at times, it takes a lot of attention to detail and a lot of planning. But not for nothing? If you're not detail-oriented and you're crap at planning ...um, you're in the wrong business. The way I see it, the hardest part of a wedding planner's job is dealing with the bridezillas.

Anyway the whole point of that long-ass paragraph is, I don't know who messed up where, but somewhere between Carnival and the wedding planner, someone dropped the ball on this wedding. Big time. Which is just ... it's criminal. Incompetent people should not be allowed anywhere near weddings. Hopefully, people do this only once in their lives. It should be perfect. You should not bring the wrong flowers at the last minute, or have the guests show up 2 hours early. You should spell the groom's name right.

I am totally off from where I intended this post to be and I'm feeling a bit like Sass.

Wow, I just saved this to draft and noticed that its the 26th. Which is my parents' 36th wedding anniversary. In all the tumult of the accident and the being mad for not telling us about the accident and the last minute travel and the worrying, I forgot.

Right, so... giving up on the idea of routine. What I was going to talk about was the adjustment of living together and the story of the moving in, and then give some updates on work and yadayada ... but then I went off on this tangent about incompetent wedding planners and now it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm sleepy. Anyway it's boring. Suffice it to say that I'm happy. That's really all that matters, right?

Nightnight little bloggers.

Is it... naww... could it be...?

2006-06-20T21:47:00.000-04:00

Oh yes, peoples... it's a new post. Holy crap, I know. But we just got back from dinner with a couple of couples (expensive but oh so yummy!) and Chulo is roaming around doing this and that, so I have a leeeetle bit of down time... and I thought I would post. And then I thought...

Y oh Y did Dzer give me the letter Y?

Well, to be fair, I asked for a letter. So the tag works thusly (copied verbatim from Dzer's own H meme -- I certainly hope there's no copyrighting on any of that stuff!): You get a letter assigned to you, and you have to come up with 10 words that begin with that letter and then give your thoughts on them. As you can see, my letter is "Y."

So, that said....

Yogurt

Yawn

Ylang-ylang

Jack (holding out his wrist for Will to sniff):

Yeshua

Yay

Youth

Yeti

Yoni

Y'uchti

Yoga

Sleepy...

2006-06-07T00:02:00.000-04:00

...is the only appropriate word to describe me this week.

I've got loads of work to do AND Chulo is moving this weekend (YAY) so I'm not too sure when promised new post will appear, but I am peeking in on your blogs for brief snatches of entertainment between running from here to there. I don't have time to comment but I'm still popping in!

Will post updates soon. For now... nightnight, little bloggies.

busybee

2006-05-30T18:48:00.000-04:00

I'm not entirely sure where I'm finding the time to write this post, but I've decided ... to hell with the scheduling! Everything will get done... eventually. Right now I need to unwind a little.

I'm more than a wee bit tired from the weekend... and a crazy one it was. It's nice to be back in my own house for once. Of course I leave it again tomorrow ...heading up to NY for little sister's wedding and a couple of branch inspections. I've got a lazy 42 hours or so planned with the parents and Chulo -- barbecuing and boating and just being chill -- wedged inbetween the busy times. So for now I'm just going to enjoy my time alone at my desk catching up on all the bloggy weekends and giving a little update of my own.

Chulo took me to see Phantom on Saturday, to celebrate my new independent consulting adventure and my two clients! I've read the book and seen the movie but never seen the musical live... it was fantastic. Why he's so good to me, I'll never know.

I might get to meet Sass this week! If Nat would teach me to snoopydance, I so would do it for that occasion.

In other news, I think my last post was the first time I've broken 20 comments. And only uhhh... I think 6 of them were mine. Yay blog buddies!

I've yet to do the Y tag for Dzer (which I asked for, idiotgirl that I am! I can't help it, I love tags/memes!) But I had a looooong 3-hour drive from Orlando (and straight to a client's office) this morning to think about things, and try to keep myself from falling asleep (unsuccessfully for a brief moment -- that was pretty scary!). Anyway, I was thinking about friends, and how I am so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life, and this is what I came up with:

A friend invites you to her housewarming party
A true friend arranges her party around your schedule

A friend visits new mommy and baby in the hospital after a long, hard labour
A true friend comes to the hospital bearing gifts not just for baby but also for new mommy

A friend congratulates you on your decision to start your own business
A true friend calls contacts to garner clients for you and offers to help you with marketing

A friend is nice to your new boyfriend
A true friend tells him embarrassing things about you but in the next breath offers to introduce him to her boyfriend's friends so he'll feel more at home when he moves to a new town to be with you

A friend lets you crash on the couch when you unexpectedly show up in her town for a family emergency
A true friend opens the door for you at midnight, after she's already gone to sleep, and gives you half the bed AND the silky pillows

I will do the Y tag and tell you all about the wedding festivities next week!

exhale....

2006-05-23T18:58:00.000-04:00

So effective tomorrow, I am free. No more oppressive job atmosphere. It's over. And I am soooooo relieved.

Definitely also a little frightened, because ...well ..... I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do next. Well I mean I know what I'm going to do next, like... immediately next. I have an appointment to discuss a consulting job on Thursday. And I guess there are one or two more gigs I could line up. But after that ....?

Then there's the fact that I've been wanting to do this -- consulting -- for so long. Remember the other thing about my job that was so hugely important to me that I said it deserved its own post? Yeah... consulting is it. And they have turned me down, because in my line of work, anything you do away from the office needs to be disclosed to and approved by your firm. And they weren't about to approve my consulting side business. Which really, really pissed me off. Along with so many other things about the company, which I'm not about to rehash now because they're all there in the last post, and I just get pissed off thinking about the daily stress that this job causes me and for WHAT?

So yeah ... now, no more pissedoffiness. I'm relieved. I'm even happy (but not without some reservations and fear). I'm looking forward to a little bit of down time after ALL this stress. I'm looking forward to having the freedom to head up to Jacksonville to help Chulo and OHMYGOD I just realised that there's another update I've failed to give ....

Chulo got a job here.

And he is moving to South Florida in 3 weeks.

Oh, and... he's moving in with me.

Yeah, all my friends were totally shocked. Most of them finally got a chance to meet him last weekend (I've been keeping him all to myself -- but can you blame me? He's totally cute) and they loved him. Which is really important to me, because I love my friends like family. It was kinda funny though, because he wound up telling most of them... and at that, it was almost like he was telling them in passing. He didn't know that I hadn't told them... I just hadn't had time to update them! So ya see? It's not just bloggy peeps that were in the dark.

Nat already knew. I needed at least one voice of reason to support my decision when I made it (Tuesday afternoon) and she was the one I turned to.

The family doesn't know yet; we're going to tell them together next weekend when we're up there before the wedding. I'm not sure how they'll react but I've thought about it a lot, and Chulo's thought about it a lot, and we both seem really content with who we are, and who we are together. I admit it took some self-convincing to be comfortable with this decision, but I think in large part I'm just scared... I mean, how many times have we said to ourselves in life, "this is the one" and then discovered several weeks/months/years down the line that no, we were wrong, this is most definitely NOT the one. And I'm afraid to have to go through that kind of failure again. But I've been waiting a long time for someone like him to come into my life and now that he's here, I don't want to let my insecurities get in the way of my happiness and our chance at happiness together. And I can always remind mom and dad that they were living together like the same week they met. When it's right, it's right.

Leaving this job feels right. Being with Chulo feels right. Both are scary propositions, both will take a lot of work, a lot of faith in self, and a lot of compromise. But I think I'm ready.

Just breathe.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2006-05-18T19:57:00.000-04:00

So I have been thinking a lot about work recently, and wondering how happy I really am there. For several reasons I guess but mainly because I feel like, with the possible exception of my boss, no one in charge respects me or the work I do. Which really pisses me off because I happen to be quite good at what I do.

A few things in particular are bothering me and making me feel like I'm not being taken seriously/respected/appreciated. I hesitate to even blog about this because my office is the kind of place that checks everyone's cache and if they see I am going to this site, they might read it to see what it is, and one look at the photo and they'd know it's me. But I figure if there will be discipline or even termination over legitimate griping on my own little corner of the internet, where no one knows the name of the company I work for and no information presented herein could possibly compromise anyone involved, well then I made a very poor decision in going to work there and it's not the sort of place I want to be anyway.

Moving on. Some things about work have been bugging me lately and they go something kinda like this:

1. You know how I've been bitching about not having an office? I guess a lot of people don't find this to be a big deal, but I do -- for several reasons, not the least of which is that I have one employee who is twice my age and thus very upset about the fact that he reports to me, and he is frequently trying to discredit me in front of the rest of the office, which is easy enough to do when I am in a cube (also did I mention that HE has an office? Mmhmm. It's called "first come, first served.") And while he clearly has no issues being so glaringly unprofessional, I would never redress him in front of everyone else... even though he deserves a good ass-whooping. So I smile and eat his shit and calmly explain to him whatever ridiculousness he's trying to throw at me, because that's how I need to handle him out in the open. Anyway, the point is, some space has freed up and I am finally getting an office. YAY! And I was all excited even, because I was slated to get X's office, which is nice and clean and it's a good size and it has a window that, admittedly, overlooks the parking lot, but still -- natural light! Except that now it's been decided that I will get Y's office, which is smaller and on the inside so no natural light, and also Y has been in there for like, ever, and is not the neatest/cleanest person and the office kinda smells funny. And the reason why? Well. That was never exactly articulated, but ... you do the math. Basically X's office is nicer and, as such, is being held for someone more important. Yeah, I get warm fuzzies just thinking about it. I mean, in some ways I can understand it.... but it's just so insulting.

2. About a week ago, I needed to stay home because my a/c broke ... and really, you don't want to get stuck in south Florida in May with no a/c. But of course the service guys give you a 2-3 hour window in which they'll arrive, and from there they still have to do the actual work, so it's impossible to say when they'll be done. So I put my office phone on forward to my cell. I compile a bunch of files of pending items and decide that instead of taking the day off, which I can scarcely afford to do since we are so busy, that I will instead work from home. Keep in mind please that I live 30 miles away from the office and gas is $2.94/gallon. The next morning, I wake up, check emails, answer phone calls and do some work... all in my PJs while waiting for the a/c guys. I call my boss around noon to tell him that they are still working, and what does he want me to do, because I have plenty of work to keep me busy all day. He says I should come in. And I just don't understand why he doesn't like the idea of working from home. If anything, I'm more effective because I have fewer interruptions, there is no "social time" involved because there's no one stopping by my desk to chat, and you get me working longer because a) I do not have to commute so I basically wake up and start working, and b) I don't feel guilty about taking little breaks during the day so I'm inclined to work well into the evening hours. Is it a control thing? A lack of trust? I dunno but I find it irksome, especially given the time spent commuting and the cost of gas. Once in a blue, I should be able to work from home, no questions asked.

There actually is a 3d thing but it's quite involved, because it encompasses so much more than just work dynamics, and so I think it deserves its own blog entry. Suffice it to say that it's a very important issue to me but when I brought it up I was immediately shut down.

So I'm wondering if maybe I've gone as far as I'm comfortable going in the position that I currently hold? I mean not just at this firm but at any other? I'm just not ready for a Chief position (even though people I've worked with disagree vehemently), but there are only so many companies around here where I can serve as Deputy or Lieutenant or whatever the 2d in command is called. I really enjoy what I do, and I particularly enjoy it at this company because I am getting so much exposure to different areas of the business and learning so many new things. I wouldn't say that I'm doing exactly what I want to do, because I'd prefer to be handling much more regulatory work, but the experience I'm getting is really excellent in terms of learning new products and seeing supervisory issues from the top-down instead of dissecting their structural components. I'm used to creating policy but not executing it, so it's a different vantage point, and while I don't love it in quite the same way that I love stretching and remoulding the regulations like play-doh, it's still very rewarding and, like I said, the experience is invaluable. What I don't enjoy is the insecurity because no one ever tells you if you're doing a good job (or a bad job) so you're just going through the motions but without any feedback you're just left wondering... hmm are they going to fire me today?

And then I think about how maybe I should be practising law instead and how I feel my legal muscles are quickly atrophying because I so infrequently flex them. And some friends and I have been talking about opening a law firm a few years down the line, which I think might be lots of fun and also a good investment of my capital and time. I've also thought about going to work for one of the local specialty firms, doing either claimant's or respondent's side (though I admit it's a bit more... highbrow, I think... to do respondent's side. The arguments are much more refined in terms of detail involved in the defense) ... but I think that a) I would wind up taking a pay cut which I am NOT interested in doing, and b) no one would want me anyway because other than scoring a passing grade on the Florida Bar and a couple of hours of CLE credits, I have really no qualifications to practise as an attorney. And then I give up on that idea until the next time it pops into my head.

So this post is totally long and really very profession-specific so I apologise in advance to those reading and going... wow this is the most boring post ever! I just need to get it out and even if you guys don't understand any or all of what you're reading or can't relate, it feels good to get it out. It's hard to talk about this with most of the people I know, precisely because it IS so specific.

I guess I am just thinking a lot about work and respect issues and how ours is an ever-evolving business yet the people in charge are so very stuck in the old ways and are positively curmudgeonly when it comes to effecting even a minor change. For example we are losing a very valued employee because he is unhappy with a) his pay, but more importantly b) the fact that he does a whole bunch of shit work and he's so smart and so willing to try new things and help out... and he's been asking me for months to make this change but unfortunately I have no real power, and neither does my boss even ...which is insipid, really... because every little decision is made by committee and infrequently do such decisions take into account the ideas, needs, or desires of the people they affect. Which is crazy!

And yet? Because he's leaving, the requested changes are being made. His sacrifice becomes the catalyst for change and it's just a strange way for a company to evolve but that seems to be par for the course.

And it annoys me.

I guess everyone gets fed up with their jobs from time to time, and at the end of the day I do love what I do... I enjoy the people I work with, the working under so much pressure, the rush of crafting arguments with the rulemakers, the networking, and the daily education and professional improvement that working in a busy atmosphere will afford you. But really... a little respect would be nice.

Sock it to me, sock it to me...

Roses are Red...

2006-05-12T23:49:00.000-04:00

Violets are blue

I've nothing to post

So I'm looking to you

Remember when Nat posted those lovely poems a few weeks ago (maybe not that long). Well, I'm not really much of a poetry girl but I do have my favourites. So she gave me an idea. What if I were to post my favourite poem, and ask my commenters to post theirs?

This is called I'mtiredofpostingabouthappyloveygooeygoodnessbutthat's
encompassingmylifeatthemomentsopleasehelpmeout. I know it's a total cop-out but I'm interested to know what your favourites are too! If nothing else it's a good way to remember oldiegoodies or get exposure to new poetry that you might not otherwise have found.

I promise if you play along, I will post something meaningful next week. I'm traveling on business most of the week so I should have a bit more down time than usual.

I'll give you two of my favourites because the ones I like, I really really like... so it's hard to choose. Enjoy! Or throw tomatoes at the screen...whatever! -s-

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red, than her lips red
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound
I grant I never saw a goddess go,
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground

And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

~Shakespeare, Sonnet No. 130

A single flower he sent me, since we met.
All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet--
One perfect rose.

I knew the language of the floweret;
"My fragile leaves," it said, "his heart enclose."
Love long has taken for his amulet
One perfect rose.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

~Dorothy Parker, One Perfect Rose

All right now... your turn!

I'm in love

2006-05-06T09:56:00.000-04:00

That's it. That's my secret. Now you all know.

Even my MOM doesn't know, and you guys know. Of course, my excuse for that one is that she's on a transatlantic cruise somewhere around the coast of Italy and not really reachable. But anyway, now you know.

I tried to be cool and put the brakes on. But you just can't plan love and you simply cannot not love this man. He is far too kind, funny, generous, respectful, intelligent, sweet, caring, gentle, adorable, and cuddly to resist.

Oh PS Chulo knows too. And the feeling is mutual!

little bits

2006-05-02T19:42:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since my last update and frankly, even I am tired of looking at my dad's crazyeyes, so even though I don't have anything scintillating to discuss, I figured I'd post a couple of little updates (and one big one).

~ This past weekend was Meet the Parents Part Deux. Also, it was meet the older sister, the younger sister, the nephew, the nieces, the great nephew (?I think!), the younger brother, his wife, the Professor and MaryAnn. Luckily I'd already memorised all of their names so I was okay. Also, I officially love his mother, because after I left she asked Chulo how old I was ...she thought I was 25. So I love her for 2 reasons: 1. She thinks I look 25, and 2. She thinks her son is a dirty old man. Ha!

~ I finally bought the new (old) Jack Johnson CD and I have to admit that it was soooo worth the wait. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing is the reason I fell in love with him in the first place (I'd never heard of him before), but Better Together and Banana Pancakes? Lovelovelove.

~ I also bought Panic! at the Disco which isn't like me because I usually wait a bit before buying new band CDs (are they a new band? I dunno but they're new to me! so) but I love the one song they've released so much that I did a little impulse buy... it just makes me want to get up and dance around; it's so fun and free and catchy. Luckily, this album is also so very worth it. Now I don't know what to listen to on the way to work.

~ My sister wants me to carry stargazer lilies at her wedding. I find stargazer lilies quite putrid actually, and I really do not want to carry them. What is it with people and these flowers? It seems like they're an integral part of every generic bouquet. And the worst is when the florist doesn't remove the little pollenated bits which fall off and stain everything.

~ When is the price of gas going to come down? I mean even just a little bit?? I can barely afford to drive to work anymore.

~ Work is absolutely crap anyway so I don't even want to drive there. I alternate between wanting to quit and acknowledging that I chose to work there because it is a good company run by good people and I am getting valuable experience. I just wish they would let you know, even once in a while, that they think you're doing a good job. Or? Tell me that I'm doing a bad job. Whatever! Either way, it will let me know that you're paying attention and it'll get me motivated to either keep doing well or try harder. Is this not common sense???

~ I hate feeling insecure about work. It's not a feeling I'm used to.

~ I'm not working out and I'm feeling extremely lazy and lethargic. I need a normal schedule in my life, or at least some vague semblance of a normal schedule. I have too many things going on.

~ I hope desperately that Chulo doesn't read that last one and think that I'm blaming my hectic life on him. Because I'm not. AT ALL. He is such a ray of warm lovely sunshine and I'm so glad he found me (I say he found me because I never would have found him). And we both owe Nat a beer (ick) for telling me to sign up on the site where we met. Yay Nat!

~ I have a secret that I'm not telling you guys yet.

~ My sister is on the phone so I better publish this quickly and then start paying attention to her ranting!

Meet the Parents

2006-04-23T20:05:00.000-04:00

So my dad is not quite a retired CIA psycho running background checks on all my potential beaus. But if you came face to face with this:

...would you run?

Ahhh, poor dad. He's so cute. Always posing for the photos. I figure I have a lifetime of getting him back on film since he was the budding weekend photog during my gawky teenage years and OHMYGOD there are so many exceptionally unflattering photos of me roaming about that he simply would NOT delete (or, in the old days, rip up and burn the negatives) because would you look at that lighting!? And oooh the composition is so artistic!

-making a gagging face-

Come to think of it, I'm sure dad has some photos where I was making that very same face.

Anyway, the parents were down for a brief visit this weekend (before jetting off on their transatlantic cruise to -- hello! Spain and Italy -- good God, how I despise them! And by despise I mean feel insanely jealous of their international travel lifestyle and wish desperately that I was still little and could tag along. So there were two options -- miss out on seeing Chulo this weekend, or drop him immediately into the boiling oil that is my family.

Boiling oil it is!

And he did smashingly well. They like him... I didn't even have to ask. I'll let dad ruminate for a while since he's at sea, but we'll be seeing them again in a couple of weeks (flying up to spend the weekend with the parents in very serene setting in upstate NY, before heading south --as in to hades-- for the wedding) and I will question him then... see what he thinks. He's the kind of person though, that you can always see it in his face even if his mouth is saying something else. And when we dropped them off at the port and he shook Chulo's hand and said it was good to meet him... yeah, he meant it.

The guy is just so kind and sweet and respectful. I know I use that word a lot when describing him but it's one of his prime characteristics. I guess it's been a while (or maybe ever) since I've been with someone who was raised with the same values as I was.

No question that Mom likes him. She said you can tell immediately that he'll be a good father. That made me smile and I'm still smiling thinking about her saying it, with absolutely no prompting from me.

It really does matter to me if my friends and family like the person I'm with. Because I figure if they don't, then there may be something about him that I am missing whilst gazing lovingly through my rose-coloured glasses. Of course there's always something, but the little things I can pick up on my own, and then decide if I'm willing to deal with them or not. And what I'll deal with is not always reasonable... Like I will (or, mejor dicho, I have in the past) put up with selfishness and inconsideration (which I suppose are two branches of the same tree) and immaturity, but I once broke up with a guy because of the pansy way he swallowed Coke. I mean I cannot even really explain the motion ... but trust me, it wasn't pleasant to watch. And of course that's not the whole reason I broke it off, but it was up there. And it kinda coloured the other things about him...so that at the end of the relationship he was just this wimpy-guzzle Coke drinker.

I know, I'm crazy.

It's late and I'm rambling for no good reason. Or for the simple reason that I'm still awake and shouldn't be. The truth is I started this post several hours ago (pre-Wallace & Gromit with pizza) and knew just the photo of dad I wanted to post but was too lazy to look for it just then so when I headed to bed I realised I'd left the computer on and decided to find the photo and finally finish my post.

How's that for commitment?

Anyway it is so very past my bedtime so I'ma scoot but just so ya know, he met the parents, he came out of it unscathed (and so did they, and for that matter, so did I), and it was general happiness all around.

Actually this evening I was thinking that this weekend was SO good that it felt like a long weekend when it wasn't.

And now all I have to do is wait for next weekend to hurry up and arrive so I can see him again. -sigh-

Why yes I AM still in my 20s, thank you!

2006-04-19T22:25:00.000-04:00

I was peeping some old posts on Terry's blog and I found this. Just HAD to do it too!

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Speak Now or Forever Hold My Peace

2006-04-17T19:38:00.000-04:00

So my sister is getting married.

And yeah, really no one is excited about it. Not even the happy couple, I don't think.

Apparently, it's wedding season. First, there was me shopping in Target the other day. I LOVE their "dollar spot" section, with all the cute seasonal stuff for a dollar? Anyway, there were all these little do-it-yourself wedding favours like frames and candles and things. AND, these cutesy little baseball caps with "Maid of Honour," "Bachelorette" and "Bridesmaid" printed on them in pretty script italic font. Then, there was Nat's post about the engagement rings... and so then I just couldn't get the whole thing out of my mind so now I've booked my flight and invited el Chulo and he booked his flight and now all there is left to do is lament.

Anyway I saw those hats in Target and I about had a breakdown in the middle of the store, because since *I* am the maid of honour, it occurred to me that *I* was supposed to have planned a bridal shower by now! So I called my mom all annoyed and freaked out and she of course thought I was overreacting because she generally dislikes these American traditions where it's really not about much of anything other than a discreet way to ask for more gifts. I mean, it's nice to get all your girlfriends together and giggle over lingerie and play the silly games but you know... I could just throw a party and giggle with my girlfriends anytime... these things are really just about cleaning out the registry list. And my sister isn't registered anyway, because she lives in NYC and her apartment is barely big enough to hold her, the shiftless fiance and the couch, let alone gravy boats and mother-of-pearl handled vegetable spoons and casual AND fine china in some ghastly pattern. So.

I decided to play it all nonchalant-like and called up Lil Sis to say "So, what are we doing about your bridal shower?" To which her response was, "What bridal shower? Isn't that just an excuse to get more gifts?" So amazingly, somehow, I got a get-out-of-throwing-a-bridal-shower-free card because my sister doesn't want one so I am relieved of my maid of honour duty on that one. I feel kind of guilty about it, but then her point is well-taken: she doesn't have loads of friends and it really is just an excuse to get more gifts anyway so why bother flying all the way up there to arrange a party that no one will attend? Sometimes (and I do mean sometimes) my sister is very reasonable and matter-of-fact about things.

Then there are the other times. Like deciding to marry The Fiance.

Okay look, he isn't a bad guy. He's quite good-looking, he's actually quite smart (though you certainly can't tell from his speech patterns), and he's a nice person. But they are just a bad couple. No one likes him (for her), no one wants them to get married... and yet, 5 years after he slipped a silver-and-amethyst ring (and make no mistake -- that thing is silver. NOT platinum) on her finger, they are due to wed. On a boat. In front of a guest list that, as I understand it, mainly consists of her bosses and other office mates.

Oh, and my father? Uber-traditional, breeding-is-everything, stiff upper lip, good Coptic boy? Well... let's put it like this. The Fiance thought he would get brownie points if he did like dad-in-law did way back when, so he took my parents out to dinner and officially asked for my sister's hand in marriage. Except dad-in-law's answer was precisely thus:

"If I say no, you're just going to do it anyway. So what's the difference?"

Niiiiice.

Actually he boycotted the wedding. Or he tried to. Thankfully Mom smacked some sense into him and this, ladies and germs, is why they are getting married on a boat, instead of in a church. Yeahhhhh, on a boat. Hey, did I mention they were getting married on a boat? Right. Because Dad's reasoning was, we have to invite every family member tracing all the way back to the time of the Sphinx, but they all live far away so they won't come and see my daughter marry a black man! Seriously? There is no end to the fuckedupiness of this wedding.

See, that's Dad's issue. He's a racist. I love him with all my heart, he is a wonderful, brilliant, generous, sensitive man and the best father a girl could ask for. And he has no objection to black people (or Asians, or little green martian men) until they want to date his daughters. Except Lil Sis? Yeah... all she dates is black men. Or I should say all she used to date, before hooking up with shiftless, no-job Fiance. She does it just to be rebellious... I think because growing up, she was always The Good Kid. -sigh-

I could go on and on about why they are not a good couple. But the main thing is, they don't challenge each other. At all. They bicker constantly but it's not that "ahh! you drive me crazy but ohmyGOD I love you anyway!" kind of bickering. There is no spark. They just exist, side by side... mainly, I think, because they're both too complacent to bother looking for happiness elsewhere, because what they have is "enough." It's like a lifetime of enablement awaits.

I love my sister, and I want her to be happy, so if this is what she wants, I will stand up beside her (on the boat) on her wedding day and hold her bouquet and smile for pictures. But I'm so sad about the gigantic step she's about to take, because I know she's doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Well. I could be wrong. Here's hoping.

Ok FINE! No more sap!

2006-04-14T10:42:00.000-04:00

For those of you who are tired of my yak-worthy postings of giddy new-relationship sappysmoochiness, a little bit of negativity. I said I was going to steal this from Dzer and now I have! (It's only fair, he stole it too)

Jmai's LEAST Favourites:

Colour: I have an artist's eye; I love all colours. But if I had to choose a least favourite... I think I'll go with puce. It just SOUNDS ick.

Time of Day: The time the alarm clock rings. For the first time and every subsequent "snooze" ring.

Day of Week: Tuesday. Too much week left ahead of it.

Month: I think August. It's seriously hot and sticky. The kids go back to school, so good-bye simple, non-school zone commuting! And it's smack in the middle of hurricane season (for which I am, once again, completely unprepared. Not a battery to be found in this house, let alone a store of bottled water or a portable radio)

Holiday: Columbus Day. The market doesn't close for it but those damn feds are off which just reminds me that I am NOT doing my dream job (staff attorney at the SEC, for those of you who didn't know), and it's in October, which is such a lovely month for taking time off.

Food: I've never eaten it, but I think steak and kidney pie is probably even grosser than sashimi. I could at least see trying some fresh tuna sashimi at some point down the line... but kidney pie? Eww.

Movie Genre: Westerns. Can't understand a single word they're saying, plus there's too much blood and the costumes are boring.

Actor: Russell Crowe. He's so annoying. What IS that bobo-faced stare he's always doing anyway??

Actress: Melanie Griffiths. Why anyone ever gave this woman a job doing ANYTHING besides cocktail waitressing is beyond me.

Film: I have a really bad memory for books and films, so it's hard for me to think of a least favourite film since, if I didn't like it, chances are I got up, walked off, and immediately forgot that the thing existed. But I guess in recent months I've tried watching Donnie Darko and Boys Don't Cry, and found myself completely unable to sit through either.

TV Program: News. I know it's ignorant of me, but I just don't like watching the news. Especially local news, what a waste.

Sport: I want to say cricket just to annoy Ian, but the truth is I think their little white outfits are so cute! Ummm... I'll go with baseball. It's just so damn boring, I don't have the patience for it.

Animal: Snakes, spiders, roaches, etc. All those of the icky ilk.

Character Trait: I'm so catty. I know it's a defense mechanism but man, sometimes I am just not a nice person.

Body Part: Underarms. What is the purpose??

Piece of Clothing: UGH those newish shrug things that tie just under the boobs. Who thought this was a good idea? WHO? It just looks sloppy.

Music: New Age. Makes me feel like I'm living in a sci-fi film.

Game: Any one I don't know how to play. But generally speaking, I love games.

State to Drive Through: Uhhhh, well Florida is a realllllly long state, so I don't do too much driving outside the state. But I guess there was that one time when we drove from NY down to Orlando, and when we stopped for the night in S. Carolina, I made my boyfriend at the time stay in the car so the night manager wouldn't see him (he was Puerto Rican), and park it sideways so the guy wouldn't see the NY license plate. Then I went in and faked a southern accent when I asked for a room for the night. I'm not sure if all that was necessary but just the idea that I felt it might be ... well, that's unfortunate.

Sound: Someone coughing up a loogie. (or however you spell that. ew.)

Now... I think I will tag some someones so that no one else has to steal... but I swear I won't be offended if you don't do it. So how about... Nat and Terry!

Bummed...well not really

2006-04-10T22:18:00.000-04:00

Aww man, I can't believe this weekend had to come to an end. Even worse than the weekend ending? I miss him. He's been gone less than 3 hours, and I miss him. Oh, this is going to be bad.

But we had a truly fantastic weekend. And I mean Fan. Tas. Tic. Also, Just to be a bitch and rub it in with excruciating detail, a timeline:

(warning! as I'm typing this out, I'm noticing that it's getting kinda long. You might want to just skip the text and look at the pretty photos)

Friday 2pm: Dash out of work. YAY! Key West!

Friday 2:12pm: Traffic. Fuck meeeeeeeee!!

Friday 2:45pm: Finally make it to Fort Lauderdale Airport. Get a huge bear hug and many kisses from el Chulo (ps, will no longer be calling him CBG. Chulo is my little cutesy makeyawannapuke name for him. His for me? Angel. Awwwwww.)

Friday 6:35pm: Arrive in Key West, at the incredibly cute bed & breakfast that is to be our little romantic hideaway for 3 days. Looky how pretty:

Friday 7:32pm: We leave the room, showered and refreshed, in search of one of those famous Key West sunsets. Scratch that. We leave the room in search of the sunset but neglect to bring a map, or even consider that we may need a map.

Friday 7:40pm: We are lost. We discover that ...huh! We are not magically going to be transported to the pretty sunset viewing spot, note that darkness is quickly descending upon the island and realise that we have just missed our first Key West sunset.

Friday 8:40pm: After walking the entire length of Duval Street in search of the elusive Mallory Square (and finally finding it, long after the last smudges of sun-kissed colour have dissipated and the place has been deserted), we head back up the way we came and finally settle on a teensy Mexican place for dinner that looked like a hole in the wall but actually had a lovely garden out back. And killer guacamole salad.

Friday 10pm: None of your damn business.

Saturday 8am: Wake up, sit down to breakfast on the lovely little veranda in front of the B&B.

Saturday 9:45am: Rediscover Duval Street (yes, the entire length of it again) in the daylight. Stop in random little shops along the way for browsing or else simply to get out of the heat and humidity. Pop into the Ron Jon store to buy a new t-shirt (Chulo) and flipflops (me).

Saturday 1pm: Toast with pina coladas at a little outdoor bar after all that shopping and walking. Also, there do not appear to be any open container laws in Key West. Woohoo!

Saturday 2pm: None of your damn business.

Saturday 5:30pm: Change outfits 3 times before finally heading out for the gourmet sunset dinner cruise that Chulo booked. Finally I called the boat to see what the dress code is. She tells me "nice casual." I put on a red blouse and linen pants, with dressy sandals, and insist that Chulo wear long pants even though it's 90 degrees out.

Saturday 6:15pm: Discover that "nice casual" means cotton capris and a tank top. We are the best dressed (and the youngest) couple on this boat. I should have known... I mean, I know it's gourmet and all, but it's still Key West!

Saturday 7pm: Even though the fish sounds unbelievable (medium-rare tuna dusted with porcini mushrooms in a key lime glaze -- oh, and by the way, that tuna was swimming around all fancy-free at noon), I order the steak, so that Chulo and I can share dishes (he got the chicken) because he doesn't eat fish. Am I a nice girlfriend or what??

-giggle- I said girlfriend!

Saturday 7:35pm:

Saturday 7:46pm:

(Did I not say fantastic?!)

Saturday 8:15pm: Chocolate chip cheesecake mouthgasm with raspberry coulis.

Saturday 10pm: None of your damn business.

Sunday 7:45am: Very, very grudgingly acknowledge the alarm going off and wake up to get ready for MY treat to him -- a day snorkeling. We took a sailboat charter that might as well have been a private charter as there were a whopping NINE of us (11 if you count Captain and First Mate) on the boat. It was Chulo's first snorkeling trip. He took on the challenge like a champ (even if he did kick his flippers all wrong! He still had a great time).

Sunday 11:45am: I see a nurse shark and FREAK THE FUCK OUT. Remember Finding Nemo when all the little crill say "swim away! swim away!" Yeahhh. I think of Nat and giggle, then choke on a little salt water for my sin.

Sunday 3:15pm: Back on dry land. Head back to the hotel room for a cool shower as we are both a bit crispy from the sun.

Sunday 3:40pm: None of your damn business.

Sunday 7pm: Head out to Mallory Square for the sunset celebration, this time armed with a map and proper directions.

Sunday 7:47pm: We finally get it right. See for yourselves:

Sunday 8:30pm: Have a leisurely outdoor dinner at a Cuban place just off Mallory Square. Marvel at how we seem to have gotten the only non-Spanish-speaking waiter in the whole place. Not only that, but he is the worst waiter EVER.

Sunday 10pm: Lament the imminent conclusion of our weekend. Cuddle up for a bit and fall asleep, completely exhausted from the combination of an action-packed day preceded by almost no sleep at all the night before.

Monday 10am: Pack it up, check out of our romantic little lovenest, and start the long drive back to civilisation.

The rest isn't really interesting enough to make the Teabag Timeline. But I will leave you with a visual of the happy couple:

Jet-Set Jmai!

2006-03-30T20:03:00.000-05:00

Inquiring minds (ahem, Sass and Nat) want to know, so I guess it's time for me to give up the goods on Cute Bald Guy. I'll go with an acronym since, although he knows I blog, I have not been so generous as to give him my blog address, and I don't want to use his name just in case he's not comfortable with that. So I will call him CBG -- which makes me laugh cause those are my mom's initials and ...eww! But anyway...

I started talking to CBG several weeks ago... before leaving for Mexico even. We talked online for a while but he was in Jax and I am here, so I didn't really think much of it. We already know what happened last time I tried to work it out with a long-distance person, and anyway, I talk to a lot of people online; I'm just nice like that! Anyway then we started talking on the phone. I was still meeting other people but enjoying our conversations -- he's very easy to talk to; very friendly. And when we discovered we were both scheduled to be in Orlando on the same weekend for different conferences, we decided the logical thing to do would be to meet.

If you read the blog, you already know what happened then. I mean not really, but you know it went well. Long story short, on Friday I was supposed to meet him just for dinner and then return to Nat's. Since I was staying at her new digs, I didn't quite know where I was going, so after dinner I called her up, to ask for directions and let her know that we were going for an ice cream. Well, 3 hours later I called again, woke her up, and asked for directions again cause I'd forgotten what she'd already told me. SHE thought (dirty mind that she has!) that I'd gone back with him to his hotel room. As if!

We had 3 dates in as many days, and I discovered that he is a VERY good kisser ...which is so important, really! He drove down to interview for new jobs/visit me the following weekend... he is planning to move here. If he wasn't, I would have to cut him off. Or more accurately, I would never have bothered to meet him in the first place since I am certainly not planning to move anywhere except back to NYC (and even that is highly dubious!).

He asked me about a week ago, in the most respectful, chivalrous and shy way possible, if I would consent to being exclusive with him, and I recently agreed. When he called on Sunday and I put him on the phone with my Little, she asked me who he was, and for the first time in several months, I spoke the words "my" and "boyfriend" in that precise sequence.

I anticipate that my life will henceforth become rather boring for the bloggoworld. Coupledom tends to do that to people.

Ohhhhh but how I long for rewarding, meaningful, permanent, symbiotic coupledom! It's terribly cliche of me perhaps but that is truly the ONE thing I feel is missing from my life. I want a husband and a family of my own (i.e. where *I* am the parent!) and the whole kit 'n caboodle.

Anyway... the title of this post refers to the traveling that will ensue as I get to know CBG better. First it was Orlando, where I intended to visit with Nat but spent the better part of the weekend being with or texting/talking to CBG (sorry Butt!). This weekend, we're spending our first night together (yeah, no pressure there) at a hotel, meeting up on the Space Coast because that's about halfway. The week after, he's taking me away for a long weekend -- he is flying into Fort Lauderdale and then we're driving down to Key West, which I'm super excited about because after 6 years in Florida, I've never been!

All in, I'm having a really good time getting to know him, really enjoy his company, and MAN am I so excited to be into someone, finally!

In other news -- can someone please tell me how to make a blogroll?

Little Sister

2006-03-26T09:41:00.000-05:00

If I were Nat, I'd be snoopydancing right about now.

In December 04, after finally ridding myself of that ill which sucked up all my social energies (otherwise known as law school) and learning that I'd passed the bar (now, exhale...), I sealed a promise I'd made to my friend Kim a few months earlier -- that I would volunteer for the local Big Brothers/Big Sisters organisation. December. 04. I have been waiting for them to get their act together and match me with a little since then.

I know they are a volunteer organisation and they are of course understaffed, but a year+ is a little crazy. Not to mention the random communiques I would get from them in the interim... Um, we don't have a copy of your drivers license (yes they did), can you send? Um, do you have updated car insurance? (Of course I do, but hey -- a new policy goes into effect every 6 months, people, how long are we gonna do this dance?) But I obliged and waited, all the time getting more and more drawn into my 12-hour work days and other non-inspirational daily routine-type stuff.

Then finally, about 3 weeks ago, they called me with a match. And on Friday night, I went to meet her and her family. She is so cute. She's 9, diagnosed with and currently being treated for ADHD, and SOOOOO talkative. Like this kid gives ME a run for my money. She likes to sing and dance, and draw, and she loves animals, and she likes to write stories and OMG she is so cute.

And today we're having our first Big-Little outing. I'm taking her here: http://www.fiestafortlauderdale.com/

I tried to do an html tag on that one but for some reason it's just not cooperating, so sorry!

We're supposed to try to do things that don't cost [much] money and advised against buying them gifts, especially in the early days. I'm not sure if she's too old for the Easter egg hunt? But I guess I will soon find out!

So I'm off to get ready and be a Big Sister. I'll let you know how it goes.

Etc.

2006-03-19T18:04:00.000-05:00

I need to buy some sunscreen. I still have some of the 15 I bought in Cancun but that's too strong for the March Florida sun. Of course, my other option is to go out with no sunscreen, which is precisely what I did today... and of course now I have supplemented my fading tan with a bit of pink. It's not a proper burn and it will be gone by the morning but I should know better.

But it was GORGEOUS out and we've already discussed how I enjoy being tan. So.

My question is, why is it that when it rains, it's gotta pour? It just seems so unfair. There is either drought, or monsoon. What am I talking about, you ask? Well! There is a new boy. He's lovely, very kind, very respectful, VERY good kisser. Cute little bald head (but not bald like SFSG awho-horhay bald... that is to say, he shaves his head). I'm excited that for the first time in months, I really like someone that I've met -- because, if you've been keeping up, all the others have just been "eh.... he's nice, but..." and I just haven't been feeling it.

.

(Thank you again your Sassiness, for the brilliant period idea to segue from one day to the next! )

So I wrote that last bit (up to the period) on Sunday night and now it's Tuesday and WOW I am such a bad blogger. Fuck all, not like I have so many interesting things to say.

Oh PS I was right -- pinkishness was gone by the morning and replaced by a lovely glowy tan. This is perhaps the best reason to live in South Florida, folks... perennial glowy skin. And shut up about the skin cancer, all you naysayers.

I finally made it back to the gym tonight. Andrea was gentle with me, which is good, because I haven't been in several weeks and I swear it was all I could do just to drag my butt there tonight. I will pack my gym bag again tomorrow and plan to do some cardio... but... yeah, we'll see.

Also, I just watched "Just Like Heaven" with Mark Ruffalo (whom I lovelovelove, with his lopsided grin and eversoslight lisp) and Reese Witherspoon...and it was so cute and I cried like a baby. But the kicker of this movie? That weird kid from Napoleon Dynamite is in it and he's not exactly cute but he doesn't look like a gangly reject from the 4H Club. Movie makeup is amazing shit.

Anyway, so the new boy. I really like him a lot, and I'm looking forward to seeing him again. Except then I FINALLY met someone who seemed worthwhile from eharmony... like I said, when it rains, it pours (for me, two boys at once -- not including the other two that I have just had to have "the talk" with, so they totally don't count -- is a storm). So far, eharmony has been a tremendous waste of money. Look, I know most men are not into the fat chicks and that's ok -- because I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't find me attractive, you know? But some days the whole situation just makes me laugh because I have my photos set to be released only after a certain level of communication, and very often I get match requests from these guys who I do not find in the least attractive, but I am trying to be as open-minded as possible so I go through the whole rigamarole with them anyway, and then they get to the point where they can see my photos and they close the match. And I'm not mad or anything (though I admit I was hurt in the beginning), but I'm just thinking to myself... ok... you know.... it's not like you're Colin fucking Firth or Andy Garcia or anything... but I was willing to check you out. Man! It just pisses me off, and I think it's most damaging to my pride but what the fuck, that's what this whole dating game is about I guess. Squeeze the tomatoes, Momma Jmai used to say. Christ, she still says it. AND she wants grandkids. Woman is going to be the death of me I think.

Right. So I met this guy who saw the photos and was all "I like meat on my women" and he was quite cute and I thought we had a nice clicky kind of thing going on when we talked on the phone so I met him for coffee and now? Haven't heard a peep from him. I thought I made it clear that it's OK not to be into me but that if that's the case, just let me know. So, nothing. He was cute, too. Good job. Local. Ah well.

And then back to the other new boy? The one I was on about before mentioning eharmony guy (I'm laughing because I always type "eharmoney" and I'm wondering if it's a side effect of my job following me home, or if it's a freudian slip kinda thing cause that site is expensive!)... right, him. So he's also very cute and very nice and we talk a lot and I enjoy his company and NO I have not slept with him!!

So I feel like I am starting a relationship with this guy but now I've been so .... conditioned, I guess is the right word... by the online dating business that I feel like I'm always supposed to be looking out for the next best thing coming around the corner. Which is not to say that I think I would be settling for this guy, just that I have talked to and met so many people recently and haven't until now had any desire to just stop and say... ok, this is it... I'm going to take the money and run, no going for the million-dollar question.

At this rate, I am NEVER giving poor old mom those grandkids that she's always on about. Someone knock some sense into me!

Yay I'm Tan!

2006-03-07T19:41:00.000-05:00

Well lookie look who's updating her blog. -coughcough-finally-cough-

I have been so lazy. At least I've managed to make a few meaningful comments here and there this week.

Also, thank you muchly SassySass! You fixeded my recent comments problem! I had set it to European date stamp... that's what messed it up. But it's all better now. I still want to name the comments something silly but I can't remember anymore what gayness I wanted to use so oh well.

Completely unrelated annoyance? Tonight on my way home from this really weird corporate function thingy, I stopped to get gas. I always go to the same gas station because it's on my way home from work, and it's always super crowded, because it is the cheapest gas around for miles (thanks Dubbya!). So tonight was no exception, I could barely wedge my car into the driveway thanks to this moron behind the wheel of a late 80s-model boat barely disguised as a car... there are 8 pumps and no one understands the concept of a LINE at this place. I finally managed to get to a pump and then this 9-foot tall guy with a doo rag started getting all belligerent with me because I didn't want to buy any of his bootleg movies. I have got to stop getting gas in the ghetto.

Right. So. Vacation. How weird. After ALL that drama, we wound up at the hotel where, joy of joys, they actually DID have a reservation for us... but can you imagine that it was NOT for all-inclusive? Thank goodness Sara had the foresight to bring her receipts which proved that we paid for the all-inclusive deal. Have I mentioned that I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER deal with these people EVER again? And just in case any bloggers out there ever get a hankering for a sunny beach vacation, may I suggest that you NEVER EVER EVER EVER deal with mxresorts.com or travelcomm.net either? Wow. They suck.

Honestly, when they "messed up" our reservation, the "manager" had the nerve to tell me that honestly, I was all wrong about the resort, how he had personally stayed there and actually it was very nice? Well whoopdeefuckingDOO you stayed there... you also work for this total scheister company, that doesn't say much for you now, does it? Also by the way... what you think is completely fucking irrelevant to me because THIS is what I requested and YOUR dumbass employee fucked it up. So shut up and fix my reservation.

Of course they never did fix it.

So we wound up at el cheapo Cancun hotel... but it wasn't THAT bad. If you're used to 5-star (or even 4-star) treatment, you will be miserable. But we tried to go into it with open minds because one way or the other, that was our holiday deal. It was clean(ish), the beach was nice, the staff was friendly and helpful (except the maid who decided that a few stray coins left on the nighttable were intended as a tip for her... is this really the protocol? So weird. But it was like the equivalent of $2 USD so who cares?), and the food was fresh and good (if boring, especially after a few days... I keep saying, we basically ate grouper and guacamole for a week).

Also, I bought a timeshare. Weird. I never thought I would fall for that crap but everyone I talk to agrees that I got their bare minimum, best possible deal.

But YAY I am so tan and lovely... and this is a weird thing about me, but I just feel more comfortable tan. I mean everyone likes having that tan glow but I mean I just look right. My dad is Egyptian so I have an olive-ish complexion which -not for nothing- doesn't look very nice when I'm pale. So I enjoy being tan because as I get older, I get paler and I don't like it.

And we went to visit ruins and snorkeled and swam and sat on the beach and joked around with all the Europeans on vacation there (most of whom were also in their hotel because SOMEbody fucked SOMEthing up). All in all it was a good time and we came back without killing each other which is always a plus when girls go on holiday together.

In other news, I miss my cat but I know she's got a better home with Diane and little Olivia so I'm not too-too torn up about it. Plus I can visit ... although it's kind of long for a short visit and if I spend a long visit I'm likely to have cat allergies. Maybe I'll stop up there on my way to Nat's this weekend.

So yeah that's my update. I also have online dating updates for y'all but my imaginary carpal tunnel is kicking in so I think I'll write about that later. Also I was going to post some pics of el Mejico lindo but I'm too lazy for all that jazz just now.

Yay I'm back! I missed blogging.

Au revoir, farewell...

2006-02-17T23:07:00.000-05:00

Not for good. Just for vacation. I've been a crap blogger recently anyway, with all that's been going on. So maybe you won't even miss me. But somehow, as I'm lounging on the white sand beaches of Mexico, with a pina colada in one hand and a good book in the other, I think I will not mind so much if you don't miss me.

Of course, with all the drama of the travel agency, it could turn out to be the vacation from hell. But I am so desperately in need of a holiday that I think I'll take my chances.

Also, I think I have to give away my little cat. She's SO damn cute but she is making me all wheezy and stuffynosed and itchyeyed. I'm really torn up about this because I am so in love with her little wet nose and the way she waves her paw at me when she wants attention and her weird head-butting habit. So cute.

Anyway, it's been a loooooooong week, and I have at least a dozen errands to run in the morning before fleeing to the airport. I will try to be a better blogger upon my return from vacation wonderland.

And the reminder public service announcement? NEVER, EVER do business with mxresorts.com or travelcomm.net. They SUCK ASS.

Right. Off to bed with me, then.

Crazy Old Cat Lady

2006-02-05T22:57:00.000-05:00

It's official. I am over 30, single, and now... I have a cat. I am well on my way to being the Crazy Old Cat Lady of Plantation.

I'm not even sure how it happened. I visited my friend Diane on Thursday night (I had some business up her way so I got to sneak in a bonus visit). She was fostering a cat because she volunteers at her local humane society and they were having a bit of a cat-flu epidemic, so the shelter asked the volunteers to take home the healthy cats so that the others could be quarantined. Let me just say that Diane is NOT a cat person, she is a dog person all the way through. But she fell in love with this little cat that she took home. And I love cats. I love dogs too, but I can't remember ever not having a cat while I was growing up ...but I am allergic to them. I didn't really know it til college and moving away from home... my first trip back I spent sneezing, wheezing and barely breathing. Ick. But I still love them, so whenever I visit cat people (like Nat), I pop a claritin and move on, and try to refrain from petting the cats.

But at some point during my brief visit, Diane got it into her head that I should adopt this cat. And she would NOT SHUT UP about it until I finally started thinking... ok, well... what's the worst that could happen? I'll take a daily pill for a week or two, and then I'll be fine. I've done it before, when I moved back home with my parents and the likes of Fat Frankie the two-toothed wonder. I was a little hesitant, but I could use the company, and she's painfully cute ... so I adopted her.

I left the cat with Diane and drove up to Orlando on Friday evening, spent some time with my grandma (who is a total cat person and completely psyched about my new buddy) and then popped in on the Cherjovsky clan. Then I drove back down today and met Diane and picked up my cat. The poor thing meowed the whole way down ... I was gonna take her out of the box and let her roam around the car while I drove but I was afraid I might not be able to get her back in the box when we got home. We got home and she spent the entire afternoon snooping around my house, looking in every nook and cranny, just investigating. She's a lovey little purrbox, though, and right now she's taken up residence behind my laptop on the desk. Too cute.

I don't know what to name her ... I'm open to suggestions. She came with the name Roxy but I'm generally averse to naming pets with normal people names. Since she's so nosy, I thought of Snoops (sounds too much like poops), or since she's all orangey I thought maybe Lady Marmalade (too long) or Ginger Spice (too trashy) or Nutmeg (a viable possibility). Diane wants me to call her Lovey but I think that's gay and too Gilliganesque. One thing I've noticed about this cat is that she's an acrobat. She gets up on her hind legs like a dog when she's investigating things, and she likes to perch in random spots -- this is characteristic of most cats but today, she actually jumped onto the back of my desk chair and sat there... which is no small feat considering the thing is probably about 1/2 inch wide. And she likes to sit on my shoulder. So I'm thinking I might call her Soleil, after le cirque du soleil. I'm not sure though.

Take a peek and gimme your thoughts:

Guilty, Your Honour

2006-01-31T20:55:00.000-05:00

Haha, a little courtroom humour from the lawyer chick.

Total random information before I begin this post -- last night I made the awesomest chili EVER in my trusty lil crockpot (well, I browned the meat and onions and garlic first, but whatever). I love my subscription to Cooking Light -- any chili lovers out there NEED to visit the website and look up the recipe for All-American Chili. It is fanfuckingtastic AND it will feed me for like... I dunno, a month? Luckily it freezes well. Best part? It calls for a cup of merlot and oh! now the bottle's open, I'll have to have a glass or two (anyway I used syrah - yummier).

Also, now that I'm putting up a new post, I am going to miss the happy bunny graphic I used in the last post. He makes me smile.

Ok moving on. The humbly confident hubris tagged me with the 5 Guilty Pleasures meme (yay I used a new word!). So:

1. Reminding people that I am a lawyer. Notice the first line of this post. I am always saying, "oh well, in the law, you do X" or throwing legal jargon into everyday conversations, and I am always reminding people that YES I am a lawyer! I don't actually like lawyers generally, but I do this ALL THE TIME NOW. I think it's because I'm so completely psyched that after waiting for many months, the arduous process of the background check (da-da-DUMMMmmm!) has ended and I happily cart around my Bar card and I have a real desire to sneak the letters "Esq." onto my automatic email signature at work. The truly sad part is, I haven't done it -- not because I think it would upset my boss, but because I don't like for people to know that I'm a lawyer right away. I prefer that they start talking nonsense to me about how the regulations say this or their rights are that and then it's all KAPOW I am lawyer chick, hear me cite! My favourite was a few months ago this lawyer called on behalf of one of his clients (who totally has no case) and it was SO CLEAR that he not only wasn't a securities lawyer, but actually did not know the first thing about how securities regs work... and after a while of him puffing his chest out, I said something like, "well... from one lawyer to another, I strongly suggest you get an experienced associate counsel on this, you know, someone familiar with the regulations" and you know he had to feel really stupid after that. Ok I am a bitch.

2. Online Personals. If you read my blog at all, you know that I have been surfing the lonely seas for a proper mate. But I honestly LOVE the online personals. I get off on the whole courtship dance, even with people that I do not find attractive ...it's so nice to be flattered and admired. I love talking to new people and learning about them, and I love the whole game that so many people play... I enjoy dissecting their profiles and trying to find the half-truths. The best is when Nat and I are on the same sites and someone will wink at her (or me) and then she'll tell me (or I'll tell her) to check out his profile and when I do, he sees that I've peeped him and then he'll send me (or her) a wink! -Giggle- ....it's so fucking funny.

3. Pajamas. I do not shop for dirty-ho outfits to go clubbing in, I'm not much of an accessories girl -- no matching purses, no costume jewellry. And as much as I adore shoes, I'm just not financially independent enough to blow hundreds of dollars on a single pair of shoes (though I once got a fantastic pair of white suede via spiga pumps on sale at Macy's for $90!). But one thing I not only love to buy but love to wear? Oh hell yah... pajamas. Cotton knit, drawstring waist, long ones, short ones, silky ones ... who cares, bring em on. If it's my birthday and you're not sure what you should get me -- you canNOT go wrong with pajamas.

4. Lazing. This pretty much ties in with pajamas, because what better to wear while lazing but one's PJs? My work week is pretty stressful so I really enjoy waking up late on saturday mornings, making a pot of coffee ALL for meeeeeeeeee, and just lounging. Whether I'm online, watching tele, reading ... doesn't matter. I love pajama days. At some point I will usually get up and do something, but those first few hours of the weekend ... those are sacred.

5. Stupid movies. You know those people who say, "oh my favourite movie is The Tailor of Panama" ... or The Constant Gardener, or Lost in Translation, or some other movie that you have to actually watch while simultaneously considering the moving pictures in front of you? Yeah, I'm not one of those people. I LOVE Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. I LOVE Bring it On. I LOVE The Emperor's New Groove, Miss Congeniality, and Drop Dead Fred. Actually, I finally rented the 40-Year Old Virgin and I was going to watch it tonight, until I saw hubris had tagged me. Don't get me wrong, the others are good movies too (well, except Lost in Translation which completely lost me in translation and I think I speak English quite well), and I love a good indie or foreign flick like The Station Agent, Monsoon Wedding, L'Auberge Espagnole or Todo Sobre Mi Madre. But stupid movies... you know, the ones you can watch overandoverandoverandover again and never get sick of the punch lines? So very me.

And PS Nat ... I am going to make your georgiaweezy ass watch Ferris Fucking Bueller's Day Off if it's the last thing I do on this earth.

Why are boys weird?

2006-01-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

So I'm trying this new thing called dating...meaning that, for the first time in years, I'm trying to meet (or at least talk to) as many men as I can, even those that I normally would not be into, just to see what I like and what I don't, what I'm willing to sacrifice and what I cannot deal with, and just generally teach myself to STOP choosing all the wrong men ...and possibly find lasting love, husband, kids, dog in the process. But the only thing I'm finding is that I just do NOT understand how the other half lives. What is the deal with boys? Why are they so .... weird?? I will give some examples:

SFSG: You know all about this guy. Spent a great long weekend together, absolutely nothing wrong with him that I can see -- but we're missing that imperative, intangible something that a couple needs to make it work. He's back in Boston, but we still talk...he'll call or email, and we'll chat just like we did before "the visit." After he left, I was having some doubts as to whether I did the right thing by dismissing him so quickly. So when he called me on Tuesday night, I thought I'd bring up the issue of how he felt, since I didn't really give him a chance to make up his own mind about where we were headed. Basically, he said that he didn't think we should stop living our lives and it wasn't fair to a fledgling relationship to have the burden of this great distance between us. WHAT? Then what earthly reason could you possibly have had for flying alllllll the way down here on 3 days' notice? Was it just for sex? I mean, really? Do people travel in search of sex these days? But it can't have been just the sex, right? Because then why is he bothering to call me even after I've made it clear that I'm "just not that into him?" -Sigh-

Ok so then, THEN -- he calls me again, on Thursday night. Except I am on the phone with Suitor No. 2 (who I will call Teach, and who I will probably discuss in a mo...let's see where this goes). So I talk to SFSG for a minute, but then explain that I'm on the phone and I will call him back -- if not tonight, tomorrow. Now, maybe I shouldn't have added on that last part. Because maybe by doing so, I tipped him off to the fact that I was on the line with another potential suitor (which I was) and he felt that I was more interested in pursuing this one than I was in rehashing things with him (which I was). Anyway, of course I did NOT call him back that night, because I got off the phone with Teach at approx midnight and I was tired. So I called SFSG on my way to work the next morning -- voicemail. I left a message: "Sorry, hung up kinda late and was tired. Hey, I just passed a kid on the street wearing a Yankees jersey -- think I should pull over and beat his ass? Anyway, give me a call later." Nothing. Then tonight, on my way home from Yoli's, I called him again. Voicemail. Again. I hung up. No message.

I mean, is he now angry with me for choosing to talk to Teach rather than him? Not that he even knows who I was on the phone with, but I guess maybe he'd be upset that before "the visit" we'd spent every night talking together for hours and now that it's over (and we'd come to what I thought was a mutual agreement but I realise now was more unilateral... although not for nothing, if he was so into me wouldn't he fight for me?) I've chosen to put him on the telephonic back burner in favour of speaking with someone else?

See what I mean? Weird.

Orlando Guy: This guy is a fucking trip. I spoke to him on the phone for the first time a few weeks ago. Seems nice enough, definitely cute. Sort of boring to talk to on the phone, but sometimes it takes people a while to warm up, so I figured -- worth a shot, let's see whatcha got. So we talked a few times but then I kinda blew him off when I knew SFSG was on his way down, because I guess that's kinda like cheating in a weird, quasi-relationship sense. I never said -- listen, don't call me because I'm going to meet this other guy who is a much better conversationalist than you are -- but I did just let his calls go to voice mail and then I would call him back at times when I knew he wasn't available to answer, so it would look like I was making the effort (in case things didn't work out with SFSG... see, Orlando Guy was on the back burner, he just didn't know it). Anyway, as you all know, things did not work out with SFSG, so I decided to give OG a call. And it was a good call, and then we spoke a few times for about a week or so. Then he didn't call me. And I am one of those girls that takes note of who is calling whom... not because I believe it's a game, but because if I'm making all the effort, then I have to wonder how interested a guy is in me. And if he's not that interested, I don't really want to push myself on him, or otherwise exert effort that will ultimately be wasted. So I moved on. Then this morning, guess who decides to wake me up?

OG: How far are you from Fort Lauderdale and Cape Coral?
Me: I LIVE in Ft. Lauderdale. Cape Coral is on the west coast.
OG: Ohhhh yeahh, I got it confused with Fort Myers.
Me: Uh huh. Why do you ask?
OG: I'm on my way down to Cape Coral now to visit a friend and I was thinking that I could meet up with you for a while since you're so close.

Now, honestly... what did this guy think? That I was going to jump out of bed and prepare for a date with this guy who so gallantly gave me ... what... 12 hours' notice? Not bloody fucking likely! If he were staying with someone who lived next door to me, I doubt I would have agreeed to meet him. Dude... there is more to life than waiting for your ass to call me and sweep me off my feet, ok? So I basically told him off for thinking that it was ok to call, wake me up, and expect me to want to hook up with him when he hasn't even made the effort to call me in over a week. He actually had the nerve to say that it goes both ways. Yeah, this guy's done.

Poppit Guy: Seriously -- I met this guy ina poppit chatroom in 2003. Have you ever played the web game where you pop the little balloons and prizes come falling out and if you pop them all you get a whole bunch of points? Well, that's poppit. It sounds like the lamest game ever, and basically it is ...but it's mindless crap that I could do while sitting in class listening to lecture, so I used to play it frequently. And one day, this guy started yapping at me in the gameroom, I don't even know why. I was living in Spain at the time, but he was local (and still is), and used to tease me about hooking up for drinks when I got back to the States. He has been web-stalking me ever since. It's so weird. I cannot count how many times I've turned him down, how many men I've dated since he first asked me out... and every once in a blue, he comes out of the woodwork and starts all over again. Today, he got lucky. I was in a friendly mood, I happen to be single, and so I agreed to go out with him. I have my doubts, and I'm going to make sure that Nat knows every little detail about him before I even agree to meet him for a latte... but we'll see what happens. But 3 years worth of web-stalking? It's seriously weird, and I'm a little concerned that I've actually agreed to see him.

Freaky St. Pete Guy: This one is realllly weird. He sent me a brief message on the personals site to which we both belong. I was really busy, but I sent him a quickie back -- "thanks for your mail, I'll definitely write more later when I have some time, catch you soon." He wrote back, "cool, looking forward to it." Up til now, entirely normal exchange, yes? So I am good to my word, and write him a happy little message with some brief tidbits about me (I have a kinda template that I use with new suitors...one of these days I should actually run the message by you folks, it's sort of an extension of my profile info but more casual) and questions about him. No response. Okay fine, he's a blond, which I'm not usually too keen on, but like I said... I'm trying new things and giving everyone (ok not really everyone) a chance, just to be fair and see what comes of it when I open my mind. About 4 days later, another brief message on the site. I wrote back, "are you ever online for a chat, or do you just pop in and out?" No response for a few days. Then he pops back up, "hey I really want to chat with you, here's my phone number." Phone number? Dude, be serious. I'm not calling your weird ass. I'm not even sure why I'm emailing with you. I wrote back, "ok looking forward to catching up when you're online." I like to know a little something about people I'm going to move into the phone stage with, you know? Yes I'm trying to be open but I'm not just flying blind. So this guy... I am not lying... sends me an email "call me now, my number is 1-800-stpeteweirdo." Yeah right. First of all, I was out at the time he sent the message, so I couldn't have called just then even if I was inclined to do so. Second, am I now taking orders from this blond motherfucker that I do not even know? Unlikely. Next!

I'm not even going to mention the rest of the weirdos online these days. Well ok, I'll mention them briefly:

The 41-year old who lives in Philly and has 2 kids. We discussed how he's not in a frame of mind to move (and God knows I'm staying put), but then he wants to know if I want kids of my own, and when I respond affirmatively, proceeds to tell me that he doesn't want any more kids. What the fuck do I care what you want, we've already established that "you-n-me" is a non-event.
The super-cute artist boy from central Florida (ps Nat, you should be getting in on some of this central Fla action, because there seems to be an awful lot of availability up there). His profile says he has a strong sex drive, but he only wants to have sex with someone he cares about. Then he tells me that although I am delicious, the only thing he's available for just now is "friends with benefits" because he's got ex- and work-drama. Aha.
The EMT from New Mexico who's looking for a casual relationship but keeps emailing me anyway. He's totally cute and seems like a good guy, but ... I'm not moving to the middle of nowhere, and if all you want is a casual relationship, what are you doing emailing the likes of me allll the way down here in south Florida? Duh.

So I was going to mention Teach, except ... I haven't yet noticed anything really weird about him. He seems like a normal guy, he likes to talk with me, and I really enjoy chatting with him -- both online and on the phone. He's smart, very funny, and judging from the way he talks about teaching and his kids, he's got a good heart. He doesn't play any weird games with me, unless you count the fact that we've been chatting for weeks and he hasn't yet asked me out. Actually I mentioned it to him (I discussed this briefly in a comment on LSD's blog) the other day... I asked him, "so you basically have no romantic interest in me whatsoever, huh?" And he said "actually I think I do. I just tend to play it pretty close to the vest." And then went on to say how he's considered asking me out but hasn't because he's been so busy that he didn't want to seem ingenuine (is that a word?) by asking me and then not having the time to make good.

So I'm looking forward to the day when he asks me to join him for a drink, or dinner, or whatever... but I'm not entirely sure he will. In the meantime, though, I really do enjoy talking to him, so I plan to keep doing it until it's no longer feasible (because one of us has started dating, or whatever).

But man... I bet he's got some weirdness up his sleeve too.

Wish me luck...

2006-01-24T21:58:00.000-05:00

I have an interview tomorrow. I've only been at my current job for about 3 months. But I don't like it very much -- I think the executives think I'm stupid (which I don't get at all), and mainly I feel like a glorified secretary. Maybe it's shallow of me, but I feel pretty strongly that it's a dealbreaker if the girl with over 10 years of experience and a law degree winds up sitting in a cube, especially while the people that report to her are sitting pretty in offices, by mere virtue of the fact that they've been there longer.

My boss (who is also new to the company, so we understand each other on a lot of these issues) basically told me that I'd be within my rights to pre-empt one of them out of their offices, but I would NEVER. I have enough trouble convincing people that YES a chubby little girl with no wrinkles (sometimes it's a liability being young!) has INDEED been in this business since 95, and does in fact know the regulations like the back of her hand and is actually quite adept at her job. Whoa, I'm getting off point. My point is, I have enough trouble being the uppity (in their opinions) new girl with the exaggerated (in their opinions) salary.... so I can only imagine the eye-darts if I kicked one of the old-skool girls out of her office just so that I could have some motherfucking privacy while on the phone with the New Hampshire securities Commissioner. Eeesh.

Oooooookay, rant off. Maybe. On to the interview news.

The company is basically buying out what's left of my old company. Seems weird, right? Why leave a company and then go work for its successor (which is not to say that the job is in the bag, but here's hoping). The thing about my old firm is, I LOVED the people, but hated the management, and thus, the risk-- and I guess you need to understand a little bit of what I do to understand why this is so important. Basically, what I do is tell people what to do -- I interpret the applicable regulations, apply them to my company's business, and ensure that the policies as I have implemented them are being followed. When they are NOT being followed (or if they feel I've implemented/interpreted incorrectly), the regulators (in my case, the NASD, state securities bureaus, and the almighty Securities & Exchange Commission -- which, btw, is my dream job extraordinaire) come in and kick up a fuss, and start doling out sanctions and censures, and I end up with a fistful of liability, facing the possible loss of my securities licenses (these exams are really not fun, people) and worse, my bar license.

Wow, there are a lot of parentheticals in that paragraph. I'ma have to keep it simple. I know my job bores the piss out of most people.

Anyway, I love the idea of working for a company that is basically my old firm -- same type of business (none of this insurance bollocks), a lot of the same quality people, and the freedom to work confidently, surrounded by people who appreciate my work. Except the liability is still there, because... well, it's a long story because why. Leave it at bad blood between old management and local regulators. And now here's the kicker -- they want me to take on the TOP compliance position. Which is maximum risk exposure. I don't really feel ready for this, partly because of the risk but also partly because I just don't think I know enough to do this job. My old boss, however, has given me a glowing reference, during which he's explained to them that I am perfectly capable, even though I keep insisting that I'm not. And then, he told me the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me in my professional life. He's a 30-year veteran of this industry, a real hard-worker and a fount of knowledge. And he told me (and the new co) that I make him a better compliance person. Wow.

I've discussed it with them, and the agreement seems to be to let me come in at 2d place (which is where I am now, except in a CUBE. Aaaahhh!!), and then in 6-8 months, step up to the top position. I am much more comfortable with this.

On the other hand, if it doesn't work out? Now I'm a job-hopper. Which I've already got a little bit of on my CV, thanks to tech bubble bursting in Nov 2000. (Don't ask).

I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision. I'm also TOTALLY getting ahead of myself since they haven't offered me the job ...tomorrow is my 3d interview though -- I've met with the current head of compliance twice, now I have to meet the other execs.

Do I hang on at this company even though I'm unhappy (and as much as an issue I make out of it, it's really NOT just the office thing, y'all)? Or do I take the risk -- in this new firm and in myself?

I know you can't make the decision for me. But it just feels good to get it out of my head and onto a bit of paper (otherwise known as my laptop screen).

Stolen Tag

2006-01-22T15:46:00.000-05:00

So, no one actually tagged me, and I don't know the girl who I totally swiped this taggy-type post from, or even recall how I wound up at her blog, but since I have nothing important or interesting to say lately, and the SFSG blog post is sorta depressing me, I've decided to pretend that I know her and pretend that she tagged me.

Now, because I most unceremoniously stole this tag, I can't very well tag others in good conscience. However, I do offer it up to anyone who wants to tag themselves, and absolve any that do so of any liability for larceny or theft of any kind.

You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station; what do you buy? I'm not sure why I'm buying snacks at a gas station, or why I need $10 worth of snacks, but I probably buy cheez doodles (NOT cheetos), chocolate zingers and a whole bunch of peanut butter cups. Dammit, now I want zingers.

If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be? A mermaid, duh. So all the boys would drown themselves in pursuit of me and my hair would always have that awesome flowy underwater look. And I'd NEVER have to blowdry again.

Who's your favorite redhead? I'm not sure I know any redheads. Umm, Ginger Spice? No, she's trashy. Uhhh... I dunno. Let me think on this one a while.

What do you order when you're at a pancake house? French toast with bacon and fruity topping.

Do you own any naughty toys? No. But the longer I remain single, the more I wish I had the cojones to go out and buy some.

Have you made out with anyone on your link list? I don't have a link list. So my secrets are safe.

Describe your favourite pair of underwear: Pretty white satin bikini ones with a lace back.

Describe the last time you were injured: I got a little too excited in step class and hyperextended my right hamstring. I was on crutches for weeks. That hurt like a motherfucker. Have not been to step class since!

Are there any odd things that make you feel comfortable? This is a very strange question. I guess it's odd that I keep a lot of my online ventures to myself, away from my "real-life" friends (which is not to say that just because one is online, one is escaping from real life, but rather that I have friends online who I've never met -- and likely will never meet -- in person, and I have friends that are local, whom I see regularly, law school mates, etc. Both groups are real people and real friends, but the realms are very separate). Anyway, I kind of like it that these online/offline boundaries exist.

Tell me a weird story from your high school years: I can pretty much pinpoint the onset of my asthma condition to a night in high school. We were drinking (as usual) at my house (as usual) and for some reason we were hanging out in the hay loft of the barn (quickie background -- when I was 13, my parents had a mid-life crisis and bought a farm in the Catskills where I went to high school. The day after graduation I returned to the city). I remember laughing my ass off at some nonsense or other, and having a coughing fit from breathing in the hay dust or whatever it's called. I could barely breathe -- Mom gave me a shot at her asthma pump thingy (I'm such a pathetic asthmatic -- it's only situational so I don't require frequent medication and I forget what the thingy is called). Anyway, I've been an asthmatic ever since, but it only flares up when I'm around cats, some dogs, lots of dust, certain air pollutants, etc. Definitely qualifies as a weird story, I think.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? A lipstick kiss print.

What is your favourite soda? Diet coke, with lemon -- but not the kind that comes with "lemon" in it -- that is some seriously nasty pseudo-lemony flavour that should be outlawed. Real lemon wedges squeezed into the glass and that I can poke with my straw for extra lemony goodness.

Flavor of pudding? I don't eat pudding, generally... but I guess chocolate's always a safe bet. Ooh also I had some caramel sticky pudding in London once, that was gorgeous.

What type of shirt are you wearing? A black Old Navy 3/4 sleeve cotton top with a lace-lined V-neck

Prescription medication? None, other than the asthma thingy that I never really take.

If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be? I'd like to move back to a city where I could walk everywhere. I've gotten too sedentary in Florida.

How many people are on your links list? Zero, we've been through this.

How many people on your links list do you know in real life? Ok I'll stretch it a bit if you insist on perpetuating this line of questioning. IF I had a links list, Nat would be on it. I know her in real life. Thus, the answer is one. Or would be one.

What are you listening to right now? Nothing, the house is quiet. But on my way home from lunch with an old boss who's in town for a conference, I was listening to Better Than Ezra.

Most recent movie you watched? Memoirs of a Geisha. I knew the film could never compare to the book, but I thought it would at least be more cinematically pleasing -- but between the missing parts from the book and the not-that-fantastic cinematography, I'd hold out for the rental.

Name 5 things you have with you at all times: mobile phone, lip balm, mascara, debit card, and my wits (those are really something I have about me, but with me is close enough).

Would you rather give or receive a foot massage? Receive. I'm not too keen on touching a boy's feet.

Name a teacher you had the hots for: I had the most adorable math professor in college. That was one class I didn't miss too often. You can't seriously expect me to remember his name, though.

What is a saying that you use a lot? That is completely fucking retarded.

What's one piece of advice that you think should be passed on to every child? Don't eat the crayons.

Still not a Red Sox fan...

2006-01-18T18:43:00.000-05:00

Well. SFSG is leaving, on a jet plane. Ok actually he's already left. In fact, he should be landing any time now. So now, my faithful 3 readers (if that many)... I can blog about him!

So ok, he didn't really look like his pictures. Mainly because in each of the pics he was wearing a cap, and when I got to the airport, he wasn't.. and he was balding. He looks 40 (he is 40, so that's normal, but he'd looked younger in the pics). I'm ok with that... he just wasn't really my type. He is shorter, rounder, and balder than my type. Not that looks are everything, because a) they aren't, b) if they were, I would be a serious hypocrite and thus deserve to spend the rest of my days miserably alone, and c) he was still cute -- just in an older-than-I'd-expected kinda way. But anyway, there he was, with his big goofy smile and what he calls, and what I have come to affectionately call his "ahoo horhay" hair (apparently this is the song sung by the Whos down in Whoville, but I don't recall it, so I'm taking his word for it), and so I gave him a big hug and took his jacket and dragged him off to our first date.

He picked a nice place, we had a nice dinner (overrated, underflavoured and overpriced, but the atmosphere was nice -- it's lovely eating outdoors in January), and I introduced him to his first cuban mojito -- a fantastic concoction of mint leaves crushed with lime and sugar at the bottom of a glass filled with rum and a splash of sprite, so he was loving life. I just wasn't feeling it. Don't get me wrong, I was still doing all the girly bits of twirling my hair, biting my lip, and looking up while my face was tilted down...because that's what I'm supposed to do on a first date. But I was sorta thinking... hmmm...something's just not right. I took him home before heading back out to a different place for after-dinner drinks, and as he handed me my first gift of the weekend, he kissed me.

Wow. He's a bad kisser. Or at least he was, 6 days ago. He's quite good now. Go me!

You know what else he's quite good at? Yeah... you know. Honestly, I'm not even sure how it happened. I was on the floor, setting up his airbed like a good hostess (ok yeah, a good hostess would have done it in the morning before she left for work, but I was way too stressed about meeting him and way too preoccupied with getting my hair just right and making sure the apartment looked just so) ... next thing I knew, he was giving me a back rub, kissing the back of my neck (even bad kissers can do this well), and then... I dunno ... we woke up together on Saturday morning. He never slept in that fucking blowup camping bed contraption thingy.

I don't know what to say about him other than that he is awesome. He even put together the truly nightmarish wine tower thingy that I was bitching about the other day. We'd shared many a joke over this bloody thing and part of his "mission" in coming to visit was to put it together -- I swear. He got right on it Saturday morning. Isn't it lovely? (still doesn't hide the fucked up paint job where I ran out of New England Yellow)

All of this, with (in his words) no bullshit, no games, no outrageous expectations. I spent the entire weekend being treated like a princess. There were backrubs, footrubs (with girly-smelling lotions!), dinners out, breakfasts in, thoughtful gifts, multiple orgasms, and hours and hours of belly laughter. I want to want more from this guy, because he is so truly wonderful. But he's not the one, and I know it, and I knew it right away.

So what is it that makes us choose one person over another? I've dated men that were great on paper, but boring. This guy isn't boring, but somehow I still know that he's not someone I can have a lasting relationship with. Which makes me think I should check myself into a mental hospital, because really, there's nothing wrong with him. He's got a good job, he's funny, he's intelligent (not cerebral, but intelligent), he's humble, and gentle, and cute ... he's generous, friendly, and honest. He's good in bed, he's a great cuddler... and I felt so comfortable with him. Like he was a buddy, a boyfriend, a lover and even like a brother, all rolled into one sweet little package. AND he's into me. I mean, what is wrong with me?? Yeah, he lives in Boston, but I believe he'd move if things were headed in that direction.

And all I can do is ask myself, why aren't things headed in that direction? It's probably my fault. I tend to make up my mind pretty quickly, and I didn't want to mislead him, so I kind of nipped it in the bud. We were laying in bed on Sunday morning (catching our breath), and the conversation went like this:

Me: You know... I'm having a really good weekend
SFSG: Me too
Me: I mean, to be honest, I'm not feeling the whole relationship thing. But I am having a wonderful time with you
SFSG: You wanted to talk about this NOW? Is everything ok?
Me: Yahyah things are fine, it's just... I mean, I don't know about a relationship
SFSG: Well, I know we had to meet and check it out. It's not really like I can move down here tomorrow
Me: Right...but...
SFSG: And you know, I'm starting the new job. We just needed to meet to see
Me: Right... but... listen, I'm not trying to be negative. In fact it's just the opposite. I wanted to let you know that I'm really glad you're here, and I'm having a great time with you
SFSG: Me too. C'mere.

So... what was he thinking? Would he have tried to make it a lasting thing if I'd not said that? Did he get the same "this is great but it's not going to work long-term" vibe that I did? Now that he's home, will he try to make plans to visit again? Will he want to keep it alive?

I don't know. I did get a text from him a few minutes ago, to let me know he was thinking of me and still laughing. I actually miss him. But I think I miss the company more than the himness of him. Maybe I'm just an insufferably picky bitch.

Dammit.

Tag Virgin!

2006-01-12T09:49:00.000-05:00

Well this is new... posting twice in one week! But I have been tagged (my first! yay me!), so I will do as I'm told (for once). Here goes:

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1. Director of Compliance
2. Assistant Director of Compliance
3. Compliance Officer
4. Smiley retail sales girl at the mall

FOUR MOVIES YOU WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
2. Love, Actually
3. Swingers
4. Bedknobs & Broomsticks

FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE LIVED:
1. New York
2. Upstate NY (not even a little bit the same as living in NY, for all those people who think, isn't NY just NY? Uhhhh, NO)
3. Flori-duhhh
4. Barcelona

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. One Tree Hill (so embarassing)
2. Las Vegas
3. Law & Order (total giveaway from the lawyer chick)
4. Jimmy Neutron

FOUR PLACES YOU HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Egypt
2. Cancun
3. Portugal
4. Italy

FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. Pasta with either pesto, vodka, or four-cheese sauce
2. Cold sesame noodles
3. Fondue (cheese and chocolate)
4. Really, really, REALLY well-done buffalo wings (even better if boneless wings)

FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. At work (only because I am sitting around waiting for the stupid plumbers and I know how much work is waiting for me at my desk)
2. Sitting by the pool
3. On vacation -- anywhere
4. In the arms of someone special

Ok, well I don't really know who to tag, so I will not tag anyone just now and save my tagging privileges for later. EDIT -- I am tagging Sass cause I just read that she wants to be tagged for this. YAY I got tagged AND got to tag someone who really wants it all in the same day.

Thursday -- only one more sleep till SFSG gets here! Eeeeeeek!

Hunker down, folks...

2006-01-10T19:53:00.000-05:00

....this is gonna be a long one.

I don't think I've ever had a day quite like this one. And even if I try to explain it properly, most of it will get lost in translation... too many side stories, too much background information. But this is how my day started:

7 am. Phone ringing. Why is the phone ringing at 7am? For once I can sleep in, cause I have to run to Crate & Barrel to drop off the evil wine tower and exchange it for the new, better, will-fit-together-in-all-the-right-places-and-no-hardware-will-be-missing wine tower (see what I mean about side stories? The wine tower is totally extraneous at the moment, but I'll get to it in a mo). And yet, at 7am, the phone is ringing. My Scary Fuckin Stalker Guy (except he is neither scary nor a stalker, it's an inside joke and I don't want to use his real name just 'cause). Ok, it's 7am, but SFSG is cute and sweet and side-splittingly funny, so I pick up.

Me: Mmmhhhheelloo?

SFSG: Jen, I couldn't sleep at all last night.

Me: Hmmmwhaa?

(mind you, I hung up with SFSG at about 12:30 last night, after yet another fantastically fun, marathon conversation. I don't want to be awake. I don't get why he is awake, or why he is calling me. I am still too sleepy to be truly alarmed, though.)

SFSG: I couldn't sleep, I was up half the night thinking about you, and I'm thinking... how's Friday? Is it ok if I come into town on Friday?

(ok, now the background. SFSG is a lovely, lovely boy that I met on a personals site. As previously noted, he is cute and sweet and funny. I would love to date him. But he lives ohh, I dunno... like maybe 11 states north of me. WHY?? But ok, whatever, we've been talking for weeks, for hours at a time, and it's TIME, I guess, to move things forward -- at least to the point where we should see if we'll have such fantastic chemistry in person)

Me: Uhhhh.... yah, ok.

Now, the rest of the convo (and yes, we stayed on the phone for anoter hour after that) is not important. But it was a weird start to my morning.

8:45 am. I decide I need to put the half-built, completely fucked wine tower in the car, so I don't break a sweat doing it later when I'm all dressed for work. Right. Suddenly, the thing that only barely fit in my car if I tilted it just so and let it hang out the back window, no longer fitsd at all. Fuck ME. So I had to halfway take the thing apart, just to make it fit. Run back up for a quick shower, off to work. Right-o.

9:30 am. Traffic (of course). Fine, this is South Florida, even if it IS almost 10 am by now... deal with it. Then... keep in mind, please, that my back window is open to accomodate this monstrosity ... rain. Honest-to-goodness, completely unanticipated rain. On the legs of the stupid wine tower, dripping all over my back seat. Aaahh. I feel like it's 4 in the afternoon, and really I haven't even gotten my first cup of coffee or my first screaming broker phone call yet, so my day hasn't even technically begun.

10:15 am. I get to Crate & Barrel (in the rain, now my hair is curling up!), wait for the stock guy to unload the offensive item, then he asks me do I want the one that's already assembled? Well hell fucking YES I want that one, but I am driving a Camry, so that's not really an option because it barely fits in there when it's disassembled. He manages to get the entire box into my car so that I do not have to leave the window open all day, which thrills and depresses me at the same time -- thrills because it's in! yay! And depresses because the FIRST time I tried to shove that thing in my car, I was with Natalia, and between the two of us (probably a combined 15+ years of higher education between us), we could not get this thing into the car so that it would fit. Crate & Barrel stock guy, however, gets it in there in under 5 minutes. Okay fine, he is paid to do this work, does not mean that Nat and I are geometrically challenged, or whatever. Oi.

10:35 am. Then there's work. Which is always a madhouse, but today we have an employee meeting where each of us is supposed to come prepared to discuss at least one idea for improving our respective departments. Right. So everyone is whispering at their cubes ...do you have an idea? I don't have an idea! Oh my goodness, who comes up with these ideas?? And so forth. We are all dreading this meeting, and with good reason, because when it finally happened -- it was deadly. Two hours of the lamest ideas EVER. But we're not up to the meeting yet. And in fact, I'm not even gonna blog about it any further cause it's not right to bore people like that.

3 pm. "Jen, there's a delivery for you." A wha? So I go out to the reception area, and SFSG has sent me flowers. Flowers! Now I am blushing like an idiot, because of course I am not going to tell everyone who they're from. Oh, they're from this guy that I don' t really know, he lives in the northeast but I talk to him every night and guess what! he's coming to visit this weekend. I suddenly become less like rulebook Jen, stern securities lawyer chick, and more like blushing giggly completely psychotic online dating chick. Yeahhh, not so much. Still, the flowers are fantastic (no lilies!! Go SFSG!) and such a lovely gesture and I AM indeed giggly blushing chick.

8:30 pm. So that brings me to now... having written an insufferably long post which will not even make sense to those of you with the werewithal to finish reading it, thinking that I MUST clean my house (no excuses now, I have a houseguest coming!) and completely FREAKING about said houseguest and his imminent visit. What if he doesn't think I'm cute in person? What if I don't like him? What if he's actually a psycho killer who leaves me for dead in the middle of the Everglades under the auspices of a "romantic outdoorsy date?"

-Sigh- This is gonna be one loooonnnggg week.

Must.Stop.Eating.TRUFFLES

2006-01-04T20:56:00.000-05:00

Ugh.

My friend Tara (who I hate at this precise moment) gave me a box of truffles for Christmas. Not just any truffles, either... Godivas. Skinny bitch! So tonight I gave into the sweet tooth, cracked open the box, and I've just eaten two. Okay, these are not Hershey's kisses, people. These are fat little Godiva truffles that have about 963 calories and 44 fat grams apiece. Ok I made those numbers up, but the point is, I do NOT need to be sitting on my ass eating truffles. I really, really don't.

This chocofest is even more ridiculous considering that I just came from the Jenny Craig office, because -- although I refuse to make new year's resolutions -- I've decided that I HAVE to lose weight. NOW. Of course I didn't sign up tonight, because I'm still researching other avenues, and also considering whether I can commit to eating dried and/or frozen foods for like... ever. Which is nuts because I'm actually a great cook AND, having been overweight and on diets of one sort of another for the better part of my life, I'm also actually quite knowledgeable about cooking light (the subscription to the magazine of the same name doesn't hurt, either!). But I'm so damn BUSY, that a program like Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem or whatever seems like the logical choice since I don't have to set aside any time for cooking or prep -- just grab 'n go. I'm out of the house by 7 and don't set foot back in for a good 12 hours at least -- usually more like 14 -- and by the time I get home I am so wiped that I just want to chill for a bit before sleep. So I don't exactly have a lot of free time for chopping vegetables and marinating meats. My blender is a godsend when paired with some yogurt and frozen raspberries, and I'm pretty content with my new crockpot too, but sometimes I just don't even have the 3 minutes it takes to blend a proper smoothie.

Also, do you know how costly it is to lose weight these days? Oi. The Jenny program is over $300 and that's not including the $100 or so per week for the ready-made (read: most likely really nasty) food. So I'm waffling. And eating truffles. Probably because I figure, once I make a decision, these lovely little morsels will have to go into the trash (although I'll probably just put them in the bottom drawer of the fridge -- you know, the one that sticks so badly it's a nuisance to use so I won't be tempted to cheat except when absolutely necessary... like during a premenstual moment). In any event, I guess I need to make a choice soon. I'm gymming it pretty regularly these days, but if you're not eating right, it's almost like... what's the point? So if anyone has any tips, ideas, support ... bring em on. I could use all the help I can get.

Maybe I'll pull an Anna Nicole and get all hopped up on Trimspa and vodka. She's got the IQ of a paper clip, but she looks damn good these days...

Blog Travels

2005-12-29T21:04:00.000-05:00

So since I'm new to blogging and such, I have been visiting other blogs to see what's going on out there in bloggoworld. And since I base my own self-worth on how interesting other people find me, I have been commenting on those blogs that I find interesting (ok honestly -- not too many!! So if anyone is looking at my blog right now because they followed the link to my blog after I commented -- consider yourself truly special!), because Nat, who has an inspiringly popular blog, tells me this quid pro quo is one of the best ways to get people to visit your blog and comment on it. So I'm trying. I've run out of money after all this Christmas and post-Christmas shopping, broken up with my boyfriend, and don't really watch television, so I don't have anything else do and I might as well give it a shot.

Right. Now, because I don't really know anyone (other than Nat) who blogs (and yes I do actually know her; she's my best friend, we met in college, yadayada), I thought that I'd use the handydandy little "next blog" button at the top right of *most* blogs. During my travels, I have discovered the following exceptionally annoying things about certain blogs:

Not everyone uses the "next blog" button. I mean, WHY NOT?
A lot of people have "test" blogs that for some reason they allow to stay live although they NEVER bear any fruit except "test 1" "test 2" and so forth.
There are a lot of bloggers who simply post photos of their wedding day, their kids, or their dogs. It's kinda weird, and generally not at all entertaining, educational, or inspirational. As if my blog is any of those things either.
WHAT is the deal with the blogs that redirect to some weird search page -- most often preceded by a lighting-quick glimpse of a blog purportedly designed for "apartment rentals" in various cities? These are annoying for two reasons -- a) they suck, and b) I have to hit "back" not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES just to get back to the crappy blog that bored me so much that I had to hit "next blog" in the first place!
People that use weird popup thingies before their blogs load, or have a movie or music playing when their blogs load. You can't navigate away from the popup thingies until you've gone through the entire series. And the movies/music is most often nothing I am interested in offending my senses with.

Now, on the positive side (yes I do have one!), I have also discovered these happily interesting things during my blog travels:

I learned the history of why Pricans switch their Rs with Ls... goes back to the African influence on the island. I should have copied the URL to the article but of course I didn't think I'd be writing a blog about this at the time.
The CUTEST blog EVER is here.
Blogging is popular everywhere. For a well-travelled, multi-lingual girl, I was pretty shortsighted about the reach of blogging. There are people from Japan, the Phillipines, Brazil, UK, and all OVER Latin and South America (yes I know Brazil is in SA but it's different cause they speak Portuguese). Anyone reading this post probably already knows this, but I didn't so let's just let me have my moment of wonder. Thank you.

Anyway, I thought it was all kinda cool -- even the annoying stuff was a learning experience (an annoying learning experience, but nevertheless...)

By way of explanation...

2005-12-20T20:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I am completely lost. I thought it would be a bright idea to get a blog, since I am forever commenting on Nat's blog with a non-bloggy username, and starting to feel like a right loser about it. So this makes sense.... BUT, with the exception of a few lame html tags that I know how to do... I am totally in-compu-tent. And yet...here I am. So here goes.

As for the title of my little bloggy space, well...actually I'm sorta lost on that one too. It all started with this great quote. I heard it some months ago and it really stuck with me. The quote is as follows:

"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water."

Cute, eh? It was credited to Eleanor Roosevelt. Who I think I played in a 4th grade play or something so you know, me and Ellie...we're tight. But when I checked Bartleby... because Bartleby knows ALL... the quote was attributed to Nancy Reagan. Also, it was a teensy bit different. To wit:

"A woman is like a teabag -- only in hot water do you realise how strong she is."

Now, me and Nancy are tight, too... she wrote me a letter when I was in the 2d grade, about how she's so proud of me for helping to keep kids off drugs and such. But now...I just don't know. Do I give the credit for that empowering quote to Eleanor, or Nancy? I mean, according to Bartleby, Nancy was quoted in the Observer, London, March 29, 1981. Which is sorta compelling evidence that it was Nancy. But Eleanor was around waaayyy before Nancy, and she's credited with the same quote. Troubling!

Perhaps it just doesn't matter WHICH first lady it was... perhaps we should all just take note of the lesson in the quote (in either permutation), sit back, and enjoy a good strong cuppa.

Wow, I am soooo cliche.