For the Teabag in All of Us

Not that kind of teabag. Don't be gross.

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Location: South Florida, United States

If I go about this properly, the blog will (eventually) explain enough about me, so let me just explain the blog, or at least the title of it, here:

"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Hunker down, folks...

....this is gonna be a long one.

I don't think I've ever had a day quite like this one. And even if I try to explain it properly, most of it will get lost in translation... too many side stories, too much background information. But this is how my day started:

7 am. Phone ringing. Why is the phone ringing at 7am? For once I can sleep in, cause I have to run to Crate & Barrel to drop off the evil wine tower and exchange it for the new, better, will-fit-together-in-all-the-right-places-and-no-hardware-will-be-missing wine tower (see what I mean about side stories? The wine tower is totally extraneous at the moment, but I'll get to it in a mo). And yet, at 7am, the phone is ringing. My Scary Fuckin Stalker Guy (except he is neither scary nor a stalker, it's an inside joke and I don't want to use his real name just 'cause). Ok, it's 7am, but SFSG is cute and sweet and side-splittingly funny, so I pick up.

Me: Mmmhhhheelloo?

SFSG: Jen, I couldn't sleep at all last night.

Me: Hmmmwhaa?

(mind you, I hung up with SFSG at about 12:30 last night, after yet another fantastically fun, marathon conversation. I don't want to be awake. I don't get why he is awake, or why he is calling me. I am still too sleepy to be truly alarmed, though.)

SFSG: I couldn't sleep, I was up half the night thinking about you, and I'm thinking... how's Friday? Is it ok if I come into town on Friday?

(ok, now the background. SFSG is a lovely, lovely boy that I met on a personals site. As previously noted, he is cute and sweet and funny. I would love to date him. But he lives ohh, I dunno... like maybe 11 states north of me. WHY?? But ok, whatever, we've been talking for weeks, for hours at a time, and it's TIME, I guess, to move things forward -- at least to the point where we should see if we'll have such fantastic chemistry in person)

Me: Uhhhh.... yah, ok.

Now, the rest of the convo (and yes, we stayed on the phone for anoter hour after that) is not important. But it was a weird start to my morning.

8:45 am. I decide I need to put the half-built, completely fucked wine tower in the car, so I don't break a sweat doing it later when I'm all dressed for work. Right. Suddenly, the thing that only barely fit in my car if I tilted it just so and let it hang out the back window, no longer fitsd at all. Fuck ME. So I had to halfway take the thing apart, just to make it fit. Run back up for a quick shower, off to work. Right-o.

9:30 am. Traffic (of course). Fine, this is South Florida, even if it IS almost 10 am by now... deal with it. Then... keep in mind, please, that my back window is open to accomodate this monstrosity ... rain. Honest-to-goodness, completely unanticipated rain. On the legs of the stupid wine tower, dripping all over my back seat. Aaahh. I feel like it's 4 in the afternoon, and really I haven't even gotten my first cup of coffee or my first screaming broker phone call yet, so my day hasn't even technically begun.

10:15 am. I get to Crate & Barrel (in the rain, now my hair is curling up!), wait for the stock guy to unload the offensive item, then he asks me do I want the one that's already assembled? Well hell fucking YES I want that one, but I am driving a Camry, so that's not really an option because it barely fits in there when it's disassembled. He manages to get the entire box into my car so that I do not have to leave the window open all day, which thrills and depresses me at the same time -- thrills because it's in! yay! And depresses because the FIRST time I tried to shove that thing in my car, I was with Natalia, and between the two of us (probably a combined 15+ years of higher education between us), we could not get this thing into the car so that it would fit. Crate & Barrel stock guy, however, gets it in there in under 5 minutes. Okay fine, he is paid to do this work, does not mean that Nat and I are geometrically challenged, or whatever. Oi.

10:35 am. Then there's work. Which is always a madhouse, but today we have an employee meeting where each of us is supposed to come prepared to discuss at least one idea for improving our respective departments. Right. So everyone is whispering at their cubes you have an idea? I don't have an idea! Oh my goodness, who comes up with these ideas?? And so forth. We are all dreading this meeting, and with good reason, because when it finally happened -- it was deadly. Two hours of the lamest ideas EVER. But we're not up to the meeting yet. And in fact, I'm not even gonna blog about it any further cause it's not right to bore people like that.

3 pm. "Jen, there's a delivery for you." A wha? So I go out to the reception area, and SFSG has sent me flowers. Flowers! Now I am blushing like an idiot, because of course I am not going to tell everyone who they're from. Oh, they're from this guy that I don' t really know, he lives in the northeast but I talk to him every night and guess what! he's coming to visit this weekend. I suddenly become less like rulebook Jen, stern securities lawyer chick, and more like blushing giggly completely psychotic online dating chick. Yeahhh, not so much. Still, the flowers are fantastic (no lilies!! Go SFSG!) and such a lovely gesture and I AM indeed giggly blushing chick.

8:30 pm. So that brings me to now... having written an insufferably long post which will not even make sense to those of you with the werewithal to finish reading it, thinking that I MUST clean my house (no excuses now, I have a houseguest coming!) and completely FREAKING about said houseguest and his imminent visit. What if he doesn't think I'm cute in person? What if I don't like him? What if he's actually a psycho killer who leaves me for dead in the middle of the Everglades under the auspices of a "romantic outdoorsy date?"

-Sigh- This is gonna be one loooonnnggg week.


Blogger Natalia said...

Der...I am, like, challenged in anything that is even remotely mathematical. And I think that geometry is included.

Got your message in the morning and laughed out hard that I to explain to colleagues. As educators, they thought it was hilarious an attorney and a Ph.D. candidate couldn't figure out what the C&B stock dude did.

And yaay for stalker dude...who is really so not scary and so not stalker-like at all. Flowers...very nice indeed... and Friday visit? Can he be more impatient to see you...which is lovely to know.

Fingers crossed. Sorry I have been out of the loop...I am still stuck in mortgage nightmare land...although things are looking slighly better.



1/11/2006 12:22:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

1. write down everything you know about him and send it to natalia.
2. arrange safety check calls with code words and things
3. don't worry :)
4. good luck

that post made perfect sense and cracked me up.

as for you and your car? play more tetris :)

(the more times you move in a car the better you get at it... i've had my car for like 8.5 years so i can make it hold ANYTHING now)

yay for posting again

1/11/2006 01:34:00 AM  
Blogger JMai said...

Nat -- I was stumped, seeing him figure it out with such ease. I'd never have thought of what he did (recline the front passenger seat all the way back and shove it in that way). Derrr indeed.

Don't worry about the mortgage stuff... it will all come together. I know you're in hell now, but it will work out and then you'll be living pretty.

Sass -- good ideas! I admit I'm a little nervous that he might turn out to be a psycho...but I figure, we've spent so many hours talking, that he'd have to be one fantastic actor to fool me into believing that he's just this giant teddybear of a man.

Yay for posting again! I have been like a crazymonkey running around and also, I feel like I have to have something at least semi-interesting to write about before I put pen to paper (or fingertip to keyboard, as the case may be).

I actually FORGOT to write a whole bunch of info on the OTHER ridiculous and very upsetting thing that happened yesterday that has everything to do with my upcoming vacation to Mexico... but I just don't want to talk about it at the mo. Must go be bitchy bulldog consumer and get the nasty lying salespeople to straighten it out, then perhaps I'll blog about that. Lol.

1/11/2006 08:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not bad article, but I really miss that you didn't express your opinion, but ok you just have different approach

7/07/2010 02:13:00 AM  

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