Wish me luck...

I have an interview tomorrow. I've only been at my current job for about 3 months. But I don't like it very much -- I think the executives think I'm stupid (which I don't get at all), and mainly I feel like a glorified secretary. Maybe it's shallow of me, but I feel pretty strongly that it's a dealbreaker if the girl with over 10 years of experience and a law degree winds up sitting in a cube, especially while the people that report to her are sitting pretty in offices, by mere virtue of the fact that they've been there longer.

My boss (who is also new to the company, so we understand each other on a lot of these issues) basically told me that I'd be within my rights to pre-empt one of them out of their offices, but I would NEVER. I have enough trouble convincing people that YES a chubby little girl with no wrinkles (sometimes it's a liability being young!) has INDEED been in this business since 95, and does in fact know the regulations like the back of her hand and is actually quite adept at her job. Whoa, I'm getting off point. My point is, I have enough trouble being the uppity (in their opinions) new girl with the exaggerated (in their opinions) salary.... so I can only imagine the eye-darts if I kicked one of the old-skool girls out of her office just so that I could have some motherfucking privacy while on the phone with the New Hampshire securities Commissioner. Eeesh.

Oooooookay, rant off. Maybe. On to the interview news.

The company is basically buying out what's left of my old company. Seems weird, right? Why leave a company and then go work for its successor (which is not to say that the job is in the bag, but here's hoping). The thing about my old firm is, I LOVED the people, but hated the management, and thus, the risk-- and I guess you need to understand a little bit of what I do to understand why this is so important. Basically, what I do is tell people what to do -- I interpret the applicable regulations, apply them to my company's business, and ensure that the policies as I have implemented them are being followed. When they are NOT being followed (or if they feel I've implemented/interpreted incorrectly), the regulators (in my case, the NASD, state securities bureaus, and the almighty Securities & Exchange Commission -- which, btw, is my dream job extraordinaire) come in and kick up a fuss, and start doling out sanctions and censures, and I end up with a fistful of liability, facing the possible loss of my securities licenses (these exams are really not fun, people) and worse, my bar license.

Wow, there are a lot of parentheticals in that paragraph. I'ma have to keep it simple. I know my job bores the piss out of most people.

Anyway, I love the idea of working for a company that is basically my old firm -- same type of business (none of this insurance bollocks), a lot of the same quality people, and the freedom to work confidently, surrounded by people who appreciate my work. Except the liability is still there, because... well, it's a long story because why. Leave it at bad blood between old management and local regulators. And now here's the kicker -- they want me to take on the TOP compliance position. Which is maximum risk exposure. I don't really feel ready for this, partly because of the risk but also partly because I just don't think I know enough to do this job. My old boss, however, has given me a glowing reference, during which he's explained to them that I am perfectly capable, even though I keep insisting that I'm not. And then, he told me the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me in my professional life. He's a 30-year veteran of this industry, a real hard-worker and a fount of knowledge. And he told me (and the new co) that I make him a better compliance person. Wow.

I've discussed it with them, and the agreement seems to be to let me come in at 2d place (which is where I am now, except in a CUBE. Aaaahhh!!), and then in 6-8 months, step up to the top position. I am much more comfortable with this.

On the other hand, if it doesn't work out? Now I'm a job-hopper. Which I've already got a little bit of on my CV, thanks to tech bubble bursting in Nov 2000. (Don't ask).

I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision. I'm also TOTALLY getting ahead of myself since they haven't offered me the job ...tomorrow is my 3d interview though -- I've met with the current head of compliance twice, now I have to meet the other execs.

Do I hang on at this company even though I'm unhappy (and as much as an issue I make out of it, it's really NOT just the office thing, y'all)? Or do I take the risk -- in this new firm and in myself?

I know you can't make the decision for me. But it just feels good to get it out of my head and onto a bit of paper (otherwise known as my laptop screen).