I'm not dead

Just really, really, um.. really busy. I miss you guys!

Gaahhh

I'm in a bit of a pickle.

I have literally 3 pending blog posts. None of them are finished. I'm not even sure I want to finish them. They're pretty much all on the same subject, but I'm sooo... indecisive. I don't think I'm ready to post about this. I don't even really want to think about it.

Other than work junk, I don't really stress much. And I especially don't stress things like this. But it's kinda big. I know that makes no sense, so you'll just have to take my word for it. And understand that if I put it out there, there's no taking it back. Hence my vacillation.

Gaaahhhhhhh.

I'll keep you posted ... um, no pun intended on that one.

Say AAHHHH

No one wants me to say AAHHH right now, with the possible exception of my doctor. I'm sure my tongue is covered with a film of yuckiness. This is my FOURTH cold of the season, and I'm sick of it (no pun intended). And this time, the Zicam, the Emergen-C, and the Nyquil are NOT working. Ugh.

So I'm contemplating working from home today since NOT working is obviously not an option. I've been a bad blogger, and it's not for lack of trying... I've been reading and commenting as much as possible, but writing my OWN post (at least for me) takes a good 20 minutes of uninterrupted JMai time, which I find is impossible to get while at work. Then I get home, and half the time, Chulo and I have appointments with potential DJs and florists and other wedding-related bollocks. The rest of the time, it's the same old story -- we barely have time enough to make/have some dinner, and relax together for a few moments before it's time for bed. Any online time has been spent researching honeymoon options, trying to skim the guest list, and budgeting. And frankly, I don't suppose you guys want to read about that. Although I really appreciated all the comments on the singles issue. Of course I still have not made my mind up about it, because against all wisdom to the contrary, I am still trying my best to make everyone happy. I guess I will just cross that bridge when I come to it. I have some time before having to make an iron-clad decision on that, regardless of pressure.

What's this? J-Lo is releasing a new album entirely in Spanish? Hmmm.... we all know she cannot actually speak Spanish, so this has Marc Anthony written all over it. Maybe he's been giving her lessons.

So since I have nothing interesting to write about other than work, wedding, and the evil cold/flu season ... I will leave you all with previously promised photos of happier times: our cruise.

Believe it or not, this is our city, taken from the top deck of the ship before we sailed away.

This was our first formal night. We were too tired (and late) to dress up for the second formal night... I brought that other dress for nothing!

Sing it with me: Gin and coconut water... (yeah, I don't know the rest of the words, but it's a cool song and that IS a coconut filled with some alcohol that may as well be gin)

One of the starfish that Chulo found on the beach in Mexico... I have a couple of photos where he is holding the starfish, but he would kill me if I posted those! Turst me that he looks so cute in his swim trunks and snorkel mask!

Big ass stingrays in Grand Cayman. Yes, we went swimming with them. Yes, I screamed my ever-loving head off. But it was awesome. No one got stung (except one lady got stung by a jelly, but that's not the rays' fault)

Local artist in Belize, where it was at least 700 million degrees. He made all these awesome sculptures from Belizean jungle woods. We bought the pelican that you can maybe just make out on the bottom left of the table.

Our last night (and last drinks) on the cruise. Don't we look happy, but also sad that it's over?

See now, I feel better just having looked at those photos again. Is it time for another vacation yet?

Ho-hum

I am mentally exhausted and so completely uninspired to write a new post right now. I'm kinda only writing this because it's been a week since my last post and I feel guilty.

Seriously dudes, I am watching Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle on the USA network right now. I've never seen it before but I get the feeling that it's a much better movie if you see it on premium cable or DVD. Not that I mean to say that it would ever be a good film, but at least there would be curses and stuff.

Anyway yeah... I am buried at work. I mean BURIED. We finally hired someone new but I'm starting to worry that she's not going to work out... I dunno, it's just a feeling I get. I also kinda get the feeling she wants my job. Some days, I feel like ... no problem, you can have it! But mostly I love my job and have no intention of giving it up; I just wish I could get good HELP. Tomorrow morning I fly to NYC for a qiuckie visit and get home .... oh, around 1am Tuesday night. Of course I will be at work by 8am Wednesday. And yes, I worked this weekend.

And when I'm not busting my ass trying to get work done, I am trying to plan this wedding and ohmyGOD do you guys know how much this shit costs? It's totally crazy. I mean, we are keeping this wedding as low-key as possible: no bridal party (one maid, one usher); we are going to do a lot of the things ourselves (or I should say MYself since a. I really do enjoy this stuff and b. I know I won't trust Chulo with a glue gun or a calligraphy pen); and we are keeping the outfits casual (no tux, and I'm shying away from foofy gowns). But also, there are some things that are non-negotiable, like making sure your guests have an excellent (not mediocre) meal and have an open bar with decent liquors. Add all the people that have touched your life and you want at your wedding, and the bill is kinda steep.

I guess this isn't news to pretty much anyone but me. All of a sudden I wish I were one of those women who's been reading Brides Magazine since I was 15, so that I would be so much more prepared for it now that it's real. But you live and learn. Plus, I have you guys... I might have to take mini blog-polls on various things as I go along. Such as:

What do you guys think of restricting single people to a single invite? Meaning, if I have a friend X, and she is single, is it ok to put X's name only on the invitation and hope she gets the hint that she is the only invited person and she needn't scrounge around for a date?

I actually hate this idea but am considering it for a couple of reasons:

1. We are looking at a per-plate cost of around $115;
2. Pretty much all the "singles" on the guest list know other people that will be there, and so will not wind up going to a wedding alone without knowing anyone but the bride or groom;
3. Chulo's grownup (20 and 22) neice and nephew are planning to come and bring their boyfriend and girlfriend, respectively. While we have nothing against these people we don't think the kids are going to cough up even half of the cost of their own plates, let alone their guests' plates and any sort of gift on top of that. I mean, I know it's not all about the gifts, but it's damn expensive to have a wedding and I'd like to think that we might reap at least 75-80% of the cost through gifts (God help me if people start giving me crystal bowls and candlesticks and shit... we are not planning to register for a reason, and I think I might throw a fit if I get a bunch of gifts that I am probably going to hate... man, I am such a BITCH!); and finally
4. If we do this for every "single" on the list, we'll save nearly $1000

If there were a situation where one of the singles really wouldn't know anyone else and would feel lonely and alienated, then we could make an exception.

I don't know ... we are tossing this idea around. I'd LOVE not to have to do it, I know it's about sharing our special day with our loved ones, etc... but every time I blink, I add another couple hundred to our budget, and I'm just looking for a way to cut costs.

Thoughts? And if you guys dislike this idea as much as I do, maybe you have other possible ideas for cutting costs here and there?

We're Baa-ack!

I wish I wasn't back ... we were having so much fun! The cruise was awesome. I don't think I will ever be one of those constant cruisers, because it's a weird way to travel ... half the time you're totally rushed; the rest you're wandering about and trying to decide what to do next. It's also very commercial, whereas I prefer to ramble aboout as if I'm a local when I travel. But it was really fun, we had a great time at all the ports (except Belize, where our excursion got cancelled for lack of participation -- apparently when people cruise to the Caribbean, they want to spend their time in the sun or in the water, rather than peeking around in jungle caves. Go figure!). And I didn't have a moment of seasickness OR claustrophobia.

I'm too tired now, and too busy trying to catch up on old episodes of Grey's Anatomy, to write a proper post. But I will give you the highlights:

We snorkeled. A lot.
We ate. Well.
We got sunburned shoulders and noses (or I should say, I did, since my dear fiance has lovely golden skin and does not burn easily)
We found wild starfish
We relaxed, a little
We swam with stingrays. It was fucking scary
We met lovely people
We drank many delicious creamy frozen alcoholic concoctions
We played Bingo (really. and we lost)
We sang Happy Birthday to Chulo's dad on a pay phone in Grand Cayman, and were rewarded with the applause of strangers
We did NOT think about wedding plans for an entire week (well, not much anyway)

Here we are, on our first day, getting ready for our fire drill, which by the way was a total cluster:

Maybe I'll post more photos later this week. I'm STILLtrying to figure out how to get the photos from my old camera onto the computer. I think I might just need to bite the pickle and get my stupid laptop fixed.

Happy Monday, lovelies!

Cruisin'

...on a Sunday afternoon....

I'm not sure, but I think Smokey Robinson sings that. Starting this Sunday afternoon, Chulo and I will be singing it too. I am SO excited about this VACATION.

Seriously... Americans do NOT get enough vacation. It's so unfair. Those damn Europeans get like 142 days off (and no, I am not including weekends). Bank holiday this, Boxing Day that. And we get a measly 10 days.

Well, technically I get 15 days, but that's not the point. Poor Chulo only gets 5.

Anyway, we are heading out for 7 fun days in the sun (at least I hope it will be sunny), with snorkeling and beach baking and mini golf and feeding stingrays and dress-up nights with dancing and exploring jungle caves and all sorts of other neato stuff. I will miss you guys.... but um, yeah. Don't expect to hear from me for a week. Or so.

Have a wonderful week and I hope your March comes in like a lamb, not like a lion!

Oh Geez

So, you might have read... I'm getting married!

Which is awesome. I've waited 32 years for a man this wonderful, and he is so very worth the wait. He is gorgeous, kind, respectful, generous, loving, sexy, funny, and uber-huggable. The quintessential "keeper." So I'm pretty sure that somewhere during those 32 years, I had the typical little-girl dream wedding planned down to the last detail, with the big pouffy dress and the rose petals and the decorated church pews, and all of my friends lined up alongside me, wearing matching gowns.

But at some point, while I was waiting... I stopped wanting that. I'm almost certain that my [ex] best friend's wedding was the turning point. We were young (too young to be getting married, in my opinion), she lived in New Hampshire and I in NY, and I was a bridesmaid. That wedding cost me easily $2000, between travel, bridesmaid junk, and gifts. $2000 is a nice chunk of change when you're 21 and not living at home. She was my first experience with Bridezilla and she freaked me the hell out. Where was my sweet, funny friend? Gone. She actually asked me, during one of the MANY dress fittings, what I could possibly be thinking by taking on such a busy schedule (working full-time and taking 9 credits at night towards my Bachelor's) when I knew she was getting married??

Um, ok.

But I digress. The point is, three days ago I was eloping.

Somewhere along the line, the pouffy-dress-in-a--packed-church fantasy became a flowing-gauze-dress-under-a-trellis-of-wild-roses-on-a-beach-in-the-Greek-Isles fantasy. I'm not even talking about a "destination wedding" where you make people spend inordinate amounts of money just to attend. I'm talking about a peaceful, simple ceremony somewhere away from it all. Where guests are welcome, but unlikely. Where I don't have to spend painstaking hours poring over invitation embossings or seating arrangements. Where the exchange of vows would be witnessed by ....pretty much no one. After all, it's our wedding and we're the only ones that matter when you come right down to it, right?

Yeah, not so much.

Aside from general displeasure at this notion from both sides of the family, once Chulo told me that, regardless of all that, he would do anything I wanted -- thereby making it an available option -- I realised I didn't want it. I don't want to exchange vows with this beautiful man in front of some random officiant and no one else, in Vegas or Jamaica or even Greece. Finding someone this fantastic has taken me too long, and after watching my parents bring him into our family fold (he has been warned, and yet he wants this!), knowing how my friends feel about him ...I can't imagine not having those people with us to share that moment.

So I'm having a wedding. In November. At some undetermined location, with a guest list that grows every time I take a breath. In case I'm being unclear on this point, trust me when I say that I have no earthly idea what I'm doing.

Fuck. Me. Running.