Oh Geez

So, you might have read... I'm getting married!

Which is awesome. I've waited 32 years for a man this wonderful, and he is so very worth the wait. He is gorgeous, kind, respectful, generous, loving, sexy, funny, and uber-huggable. The quintessential "keeper." So I'm pretty sure that somewhere during those 32 years, I had the typical little-girl dream wedding planned down to the last detail, with the big pouffy dress and the rose petals and the decorated church pews, and all of my friends lined up alongside me, wearing matching gowns.

But at some point, while I was waiting... I stopped wanting that. I'm almost certain that my [ex] best friend's wedding was the turning point. We were young (too young to be getting married, in my opinion), she lived in New Hampshire and I in NY, and I was a bridesmaid. That wedding cost me easily $2000, between travel, bridesmaid junk, and gifts. $2000 is a nice chunk of change when you're 21 and not living at home. She was my first experience with Bridezilla and she freaked me the hell out. Where was my sweet, funny friend? Gone. She actually asked me, during one of the MANY dress fittings, what I could possibly be thinking by taking on such a busy schedule (working full-time and taking 9 credits at night towards my Bachelor's) when I knew she was getting married??

Um, ok.

But I digress. The point is, three days ago I was eloping.

Somewhere along the line, the pouffy-dress-in-a--packed-church fantasy became a flowing-gauze-dress-under-a-trellis-of-wild-roses-on-a-beach-in-the-Greek-Isles fantasy. I'm not even talking about a "destination wedding" where you make people spend inordinate amounts of money just to attend. I'm talking about a peaceful, simple ceremony somewhere away from it all. Where guests are welcome, but unlikely. Where I don't have to spend painstaking hours poring over invitation embossings or seating arrangements. Where the exchange of vows would be witnessed by ....pretty much no one. After all, it's our wedding and we're the only ones that matter when you come right down to it, right?

Yeah, not so much.

Aside from general displeasure at this notion from both sides of the family, once Chulo told me that, regardless of all that, he would do anything I wanted -- thereby making it an available option -- I realised I didn't want it. I don't want to exchange vows with this beautiful man in front of some random officiant and no one else, in Vegas or Jamaica or even Greece. Finding someone this fantastic has taken me too long, and after watching my parents bring him into our family fold (he has been warned, and yet he wants this!), knowing how my friends feel about him ...I can't imagine not having those people with us to share that moment.

So I'm having a wedding. In November. At some undetermined location, with a guest list that grows every time I take a breath. In case I'm being unclear on this point, trust me when I say that I have no earthly idea what I'm doing.

Fuck. Me. Running.