For the Teabag in All of Us

Not that kind of teabag. Don't be gross.

My Photo
Name:
Location: South Florida, United States

If I go about this properly, the blog will (eventually) explain enough about me, so let me just explain the blog, or at least the title of it, here:

"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

exhale....

So effective tomorrow, I am free. No more oppressive job atmosphere. It's over. And I am soooooo relieved.

Definitely also a little frightened, because ...well ..... I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do next. Well I mean I know what I'm going to do next, like... immediately next. I have an appointment to discuss a consulting job on Thursday. And I guess there are one or two more gigs I could line up. But after that ....?

Then there's the fact that I've been wanting to do this -- consulting -- for so long. Remember the other thing about my job that was so hugely important to me that I said it deserved its own post? Yeah... consulting is it. And they have turned me down, because in my line of work, anything you do away from the office needs to be disclosed to and approved by your firm. And they weren't about to approve my consulting side business. Which really, really pissed me off. Along with so many other things about the company, which I'm not about to rehash now because they're all there in the last post, and I just get pissed off thinking about the daily stress that this job causes me and for WHAT?

So yeah ... now, no more pissedoffiness. I'm relieved. I'm even happy (but not without some reservations and fear). I'm looking forward to a little bit of down time after ALL this stress. I'm looking forward to having the freedom to head up to Jacksonville to help Chulo and OHMYGOD I just realised that there's another update I've failed to give ....

Chulo got a job here.

And he is moving to South Florida in 3 weeks.

Oh, and... he's moving in with me.

Yeah, all my friends were totally shocked. Most of them finally got a chance to meet him last weekend (I've been keeping him all to myself -- but can you blame me? He's totally cute) and they loved him. Which is really important to me, because I love my friends like family. It was kinda funny though, because he wound up telling most of them... and at that, it was almost like he was telling them in passing. He didn't know that I hadn't told them... I just hadn't had time to update them! So ya see? It's not just bloggy peeps that were in the dark.

Nat already knew. I needed at least one voice of reason to support my decision when I made it (Tuesday afternoon) and she was the one I turned to.

The family doesn't know yet; we're going to tell them together next weekend when we're up there before the wedding. I'm not sure how they'll react but I've thought about it a lot, and Chulo's thought about it a lot, and we both seem really content with who we are, and who we are together. I admit it took some self-convincing to be comfortable with this decision, but I think in large part I'm just scared... I mean, how many times have we said to ourselves in life, "this is the one" and then discovered several weeks/months/years down the line that no, we were wrong, this is most definitely NOT the one. And I'm afraid to have to go through that kind of failure again. But I've been waiting a long time for someone like him to come into my life and now that he's here, I don't want to let my insecurities get in the way of my happiness and our chance at happiness together. And I can always remind mom and dad that they were living together like the same week they met. When it's right, it's right.

Leaving this job feels right. Being with Chulo feels right. Both are scary propositions, both will take a lot of work, a lot of faith in self, and a lot of compromise. But I think I'm ready.

Just breathe.

20 Comments:

Blogger sassinak said...

holy shit

you weren't kidding

and here we thought you were only at the thinking about maybe looking around stage.

can i just say? fucking mad props... or as a wise man once quoted

"leap and the net will appear"

5/24/2006 12:07:00 AM  
Blogger DZER said...

wow wow wow wow wow wow wow

congrats! yay you! yay chulo!

5/24/2006 03:05:00 AM  
Blogger JMai said...

Thank you! You don't know how it made my heart happy when I read both of your comments this morning.

I'm so freaked out but at the same time so excited about the possibilities. It's like I'm sick to my stomach thinking about going in today and how people will react. But I think it's right in the end.

Sass -- I'm looking for that net!!

5/24/2006 07:54:00 AM  
Blogger sassinak said...

you know what cracks me up? i went straight to the work thing and dzer went straight to the boy thing.

and they say girls are the cheesy ones *grin*

the net is there darlin' but you don't need it.

5/24/2006 09:49:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

ROTFL @ Sass's point :)

And I am still cracking up about me being a voice of reason. Maybe I am more reasonable about other people's issues :) Then again we all seem to be better at looking at other people's lives in a logical way.

And Chulo is great for you. You two complement each other. And if he makes you happy, that's all that matters.

As I said when you told me, mum and dad would be hard-pressed to say much given how quickly they moved when they met :)

Congrats again!

And the job...ahhh that must feel good. And you have Chulo's support and I am sure it will be somewhat less horrid financially as well.

xoxox,

-N

5/24/2006 09:56:00 AM  
Blogger terry said...

good lord, woman, you've been keeping so much from us!

i applaud your leaps. both of them. both are so scary, yet i'll bet they'll both bring rich rewards.

WOW...!

5/24/2006 12:38:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

Sass -- Actually I thought the wows were sorta applicable to both big announcements. But it is cute tht he was the cheesy one!

Nat -- We are each always more reasonable about other people's issues because we have the benefit of not being in the midst of the issues.

I think he is a great complement also, and I'm glad you feel that way. He's just so warm and supportive... I couldn't really ask for more right now. I was a total stressball yesterday and he really helped to calm me down. I hope he has that affect on me permanently; I could use some calming down!

terry -- I didn't mean to hold out! Honest! I've just been busy ... working, thinking, arranging, planning, etc.

I'm really excited about the possibilities. Of course one possibility is that Sass's net isn't waiting for me and I fall on my ass. But I've got 2 appointments tomorrow and a couple of phone calls to make (damn my run-on mouth, I'm almost out of minutes this cycle and I'm being really miserly about what I have left to get me through Fridy!) ... so we'll see what comes of it. I'm not closing the book on working a regular 9-5 but I think I may be able to do some good work with consulting -- the question is, will I be able to do it on my own or will I have to hook up with a larger group?

I'm open!

5/24/2006 07:40:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

i think being open is the key. THAT will be your net.

5/24/2006 10:27:00 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

i'm a giant hunk of cheese.

and Nat moved me after sass climbed me!

heh

5/25/2006 02:26:00 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

Wow! You have had a week! Congrats onboth and don't be scared. If it's all meant to be things will work themselves out and you'll be the most sought after consultant ever.

5/25/2006 06:04:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

ROTFL @ Dzer :) xoxoxox

-N

5/25/2006 09:37:00 AM  
Blogger Alice said...

WOOOO freakin AWESOME on both counts! aw i'm all grinny for you over here. free from the shackles of a bad job! moving in with the man you love! does it get any better?? :-)

5/25/2006 03:54:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

SO excited. I met with some prospects today and I now have TWO CLIENTS. That's right, I have clients! I rock.

Phil -- Thank you! That's a really kind thing to say. Then again... if things don't work out? Ok I'm not even going there right now.

Alice -- No ma'am, I don't think it does get any better!

5/25/2006 11:08:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

PS Alice -- to borrow from your current post:

awesome: going out and making connections and getting clients and feeling FREE

not awesome: realising that I'm not going to get to take a break from the stress and craziness after all because I start on Tuesday!

Even the not awesome is still kinda awesome -beams-

5/25/2006 11:11:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

woo hoo clients!

*wanders off to read alice's current post*

5/26/2006 12:47:00 AM  
Blogger JMai said...

Hehe... I've inspired wandering. Is there NO END to my talents???

5/26/2006 09:19:00 AM  
Blogger da buttah said...

awww sweet pea, i'm so happy you and him found each other.

pappi chulo es en su casa. HOLLA!!

5/26/2006 10:32:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

ROTFL @ Elle :) *grin* you make me laugh

And woohoo *snoopydance* for the clients.

FREEDOM

-N

5/26/2006 10:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Morrisey once sang

'did you see the Jealousy in the eyes of the ones who had to stay behind...?'

leaving that job is good for you.

5/27/2006 02:17:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

Elle -- Thank you! We had an interesting weekend of deciding which of his furniture we'll be taking so that we can make it a little less mi casa and a little more nuestra casa. It's still pretty me-ish though.

And aww you called me sweet pea, that's so cute!

Anon -- Ian, I know that's you!! Dammit!!

But yes, I agree. I'm quite happy to be free to do my own thing.

5/30/2006 06:46:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Blogroll Me!