For the Teabag in All of Us

Not that kind of teabag. Don't be gross.

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Location: South Florida, United States

If I go about this properly, the blog will (eventually) explain enough about me, so let me just explain the blog, or at least the title of it, here:

"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Friday, December 01, 2006

Survey Says...

It's what you call the guy in the slow-moving vehicle ahead of you in the left lane when he, rather than moves to the right where there is PLENTY OF SPACE for his slow ass, slams on his brakes when you gently flash your brights at him to ask him to speed up or move along, nearly causing a 4-car pile-up accident in fast-moving traffic.

A STUPID MOTHERFUCKING SCHMUCKO JACKASS FUCKTARD!

Dingdingdingdingding!

Okay I know it's rude to flash brights, but I flashed them very gently and only AFTER I moved to the left so that he would see me in his left mirror and realise that he was holding up traffic. Also please note that I could not go around him on the right because there were cars in my way but there were none next to him. I mean honestly, you know the left lane is for passing, you're making the speed limit but that's it, and there is a line of cars waiting for you to move so that they can move on to their respective destinations. Is it really necessary to practically kill me and a bunch of other people, including yourself and your passenger, because I injured your pride a lil by reminding you that you DID NOT BELONG IN THE LEFT LANE?

And Chulo (and Nat, and my mom, and and and) wonders why I have road rage. I mean are you paying attention to these people?? HELLO.

Right. In other news, I back from California, did I mention that? I think I must have, maybe like 17 weeks ago which is the last time I posted. But anyway, it was awesome. First of all, California has trees that change colour. Do you know how lovely that is?? I haven't seen coloured foliage in years. Palm trees are boring!

Also, the weather was lovely for gamboling around looking at lovely things like the Golden Gate Bridge and downtown Sonoma and wine country and ps the town of Berkeley is built into a mountain and it's CRAZY! Those people must have awesome calves. Oh crap, I forgot to upload pictures! Dammit! I have to load the photo program on Chulo's desktop because my laptop is sitting under a pile of junk since it decided to stop working.

Anyway I almost peed my pants driving home from my godmother's house in the scary Berkeley mountains. It was like that drop after the slow climb on a rollercoaster, when the decline is so steep that just before you dip, all you see is air ... and then suddenly you're careening down a mountain in a rental car that you didn't take out the insurance on!

But there's more! There's also superfun girl nights out with Terry and Miss Cheese and Loli and jumbo alcoholic drinks! I also have photos of THAT so I really should upload the stupid program but I'm soooooo tired. Damn five-day work week.

I need sleep, badly. It's a big weekend starting tomorrow! We have to go buy a REAL lovely-smelling tree, and a skirt for that tree, and finish up shopping for Christmas #1 (my family ...figures we are already done with shopping for Christmas #2 with Chulo's family). And I have to buy glue and glitter to christen the pretty new matching Christmas stockings that Chulo and I bought. And I have to do all those Christmas cards. Fuck, I know a lot of people.

Also I have to return some sweaters that I decided I will never get a chance to wear since the cold snap last week was a fluke and we are back into 80+ degrees and humid, damn stupid Florida! I have to tear the house apart looking for the big Lots bag with the pretty wrapping paper and new ribbons. Of course I already have like 11 other rolls of wrapping paper but that's hardly the point, it's Christmas after all! Oh and I have work to do since obviously working between 12 and 15 hours a day isn't quite cutting it! And we have to do laundry, and also CLEAN, ohmyGod do we have to clean... of course I can't call the cleaning girls back because there is too much JUNK here there and everywhere and the poor girls wouldn't know what to do with it all. I need a houseboy.

Okay I have to go peel the contacts off of my eyeballs and get some rest.

8 Comments:

Blogger terry said...

see, you'll just have to come back out for a visit if you want to wear those sweaters.

and we won't make you drive anywhere.

12/02/2006 07:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stop swearing, it's not you. I miss you. 6 months now without smokes and massive into faithless and dance now. Still battling the pop. I will send you an email. I hope you and your man are well there in FL. You seem well by your blog! So does Nat in Dublin, lol. If this shocks you, I'm sorry, I'll note it! I would love to strike up a chat again Jen if you can be arsed. yours. Ian.

12/03/2006 06:19:00 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...

okay this post is awesome... i love stream of consciousness postings like that...

happy holiday season!

12/03/2006 06:36:00 PM  
Blogger Queen of Cheese said...

Don't take your sweaters back!!

Listen to Terry. You NEED them for trips to nocal because you can't go out here without a sweater in your bag.

Then you can say to your man, Chulo we got to go to Cali because I need to wear my sweaters and he will oblige.

:o)

Hooray!
Glitter 'n glue.

You have some Fun Times ahead.

12/03/2006 11:55:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

Terry -- You don't have to entice me with sweaters to get me back to the bay area! It was lovely! And believe me, I have pleeennnty of sweaters to get me through!

Ian -- I curse like a sailor while driving, I think you knew that. It's lovely to see you back, I've missed you also. All things here are peachy. Busy, but peachy. Faithless? Really?? I don't think any other than the song with Dido, but that's a big change for you... what brought that on??

Sass -- Why thank you! -blush- And it IS a very, very happy holiday season! I really love this time of year!

Cheese -- Can I call you Cheese? You and Terry do have a point. Also, Chulo is a very obliging young man so that might just work! But I still returned those particular sweaters. All is made right with glitter and glue.

12/04/2006 09:26:00 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

now that was a very comprehensive update, darlin' ... sounds like a lot of fun out in cali ... and a lot of stressful BS at home ... lol

*smooches*

12/05/2006 08:02:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

No no no...we know why you get upset. We are not dull. We drive. We deal with the same assholes as you do. But we just choose not to let it alter our blood pressure :) I guess some people can let it go and some can't. And some learn to at some point. I don't know...I have not been in a car you were driving for a bit, so I don't know if it's got any better. But we who love you are used to it. So, no biggie. :)

-N

12/05/2006 09:49:00 AM  
Blogger JMai said...

Dzer -- Yeah, I babble. It runs in the family -s-

Butt -- I think I might be a little bit better... but I will never be completely cured. I just haven't the patience most days.

12/06/2006 06:48:00 PM  

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