For the Teabag in All of Us

Not that kind of teabag. Don't be gross.

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Location: South Florida, United States

If I go about this properly, the blog will (eventually) explain enough about me, so let me just explain the blog, or at least the title of it, here:

"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Road Rage

A woman tried to assault me today on my way to work. I mean she actually got out of her car and put her white trash face on the window of my car and started yelling at me through the window. Why? Because I called her a bitch and apparently she can read lips.

Of course she IS a bitch because she could obviously SEE that there was a stalled car in my lane (which I couldn't see a) until the other cars in front of me started moving out of the lane and b) because I'm in a camry and she's in a pickup truck so she's got the higher ground). And if she can SEE that I need to move into her lane for the simple purpose of being able to get where I'm going, and yet she insists that she will not let me in, no way, no how, then hell fucking YES I am going to give her the look of death and scream at the window "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKING BITCH??" (and incidentally also scream this into the phone to my poor mother, with whom I was having a very pleasant conversation up until that point). What am I not going to do, like um, ever? I am NOT going to get out of my car and scream at the other driver like a lunatic while she ignores me, continuing her phone conversation, as all the other drivers look on and go.... oh dear me. And then proceed to get back into my car and pull alllllllllllll the way up to just a millimetre away from the next car's bumper so that it's abundantly clear that no, there is no way I'm letting you in.

Oooookay.

Nat's right, I have to take her up on her challenge to me during the me-me-me meme (thanks Terry!), and I have to try to control my road rage. But I mean, have you ever driven in South Florida? It's like the place where all the NYers come so they can stop driving like maniacs but instead take it to obnoxious levels of driving rudeness. And that lady? Oi. Come to think of it, I should have had her ass arrested for assault. I'm guessing she doesn't know the legal definition or she wouldn't have pulled some shit like that.

So tomorrow, I'm going to try to have a gentle and smooth ride into work, and avoid upsetting other drivers while simultaneously trying to avoid letting the other drivers upset me.

Mmmhmmm... that's a challenge all right. I'll let you know how it turns out.

13 Comments:

Blogger Natalia said...

Yaay no more road rage. Look...I feel you. Florida drivers have ranked among the worst in the nation for decades. And it's not gonna change. All I am saying is that you can't control people being assholes, you can only control how it affects you. And if you want to le it spike your blood pressure and age you...go ahead. It's still not going to get better. However, you can just ignore the idiots and listen to your music. I am not saying I am perfect at it...I still bitch a bit. But mostly? I laught at them...cause there has to be some deficiency in your life that you get pleasure from blocking others or racing them to the next light. And evenually, hey'll get the karma back.

So yaay challenge...let's see what comes of it.

-N

7/27/2006 07:22:00 AM  
Blogger Natalia said...

The T on my keyboard at home sticks. Can you tell??? :)

-N

7/27/2006 01:19:00 PM  
Blogger terry said...

my favorite part of this is that you shouted obscenities while talking to your mom on the phone. must have freaked her out.

i hate stupid drivers. hate 'em!

7/27/2006 01:39:00 PM  
Blogger Natalia said...

Terry-

Anyone that has known her for any significant period of time that involves phone conversations has been on the other side of the sudden "Why are you such a bitch/asshole?" or "get out of my lane" screams :) We ignore it and keep talking. It's part of the package we love.

-N

7/27/2006 02:27:00 PM  
Blogger cutie said...

fucking whore....(it's the brandy talking....*giggle*

7/27/2006 07:33:00 PM  
Blogger JMai said...

Butt -- Well, it was an ok driving day. I still get annoyed, but that's partly because I'm so intent on getting where I'm going, and partly because the drivers just SUCK.

And yes, it is all just part of the package. Lol... hopefully the package is getting calmer!

Terry -- Nat's right.. Mom is totally used to that. She does hate talking to me while I'm driving though. But I'm glad I had the excuse of being on the phone with her! Otherwise who knows what would have happened with that crazy lady!

Cutie -- Let the brandy talk all it wants! She was a bitch!

7/27/2006 08:19:00 PM  
Blogger buddha_girl said...

Holy crap on a cross. That's some shit.

Good damn luck having a smooth, cool ride to work. Sheesh>

The closest I've ever come to such an incident was when I was driving WITH my Mom. Some trash-ass bitch didn't like that I was stopped at a red light. Excuse the fuck out of me. Cunt. (Yes. I said the C word.)

She was leaning over her steering wheel, screaming obcenities at me while I giggled and blew her kisses. My Mom begged me to stop. The bitch had her door open and was coming when the light turned green. I gunned the car and got the fuck out of there.

I'm pretty sure she would have shot me had I not gotten the green.

However, it begs the question: why the hell was she so pissed at me and not the red light?

PS
Did ya know I'm originally from NY? Born and bred, baby!

7/27/2006 08:44:00 PM  
Blogger Cressida said...

yikes!!! that sucks! What is the problem with people not letting people in? my god. what a sad sad woman!
I'm sorry. :(

7/28/2006 08:01:00 PM  
Blogger DZER said...

try keeping a loaded paint gun in the glove compartment ... lol

7/30/2006 08:11:00 AM  
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